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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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5 replies

MUM2BLESS · 25/12/2009 17:24

I started childminding last year. The biggest challenge has been dealing with the behaviour of the minded kids. Some attacking each other and also being agressive towards me.

This has caused me to be a lot firmer. I can if I wish put up with the naughty behaviour but why should I? I am now only looking after one under school age child per day unless it an emergency then and only then will I look after two. I prefer to give one to one attention.

What has been your challenge and what are you going to do about it in 2010? Would love to hear from you on this.

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TheIronLady · 28/12/2009 11:14

mum2bless, I have not experienced the sort of behaviour you describe with any of my minded children. Poor you!

In fact, I have only had one child who has gone through a 'smacking' stage and I was eventually able to identify the trigger for this behaviour so have got to the stage of preventing it from happening for most of the time now; if it does happen though, child is now at age/stage to understand why child has been put on the 'thinking' mat and have a firm chat with about their behaviour.

Most of my minded children have had squabbles and major sharing issues at some point (3 x just 2 year olds!) (believe me, I found this to be a challenge as it went on for about 8 months!) but that is all part of their development too.

I have never had a child show aggression towards me, thankfully.

I think that understanding (or trying to understand) why children behave in certain ways helps, understanding child development is very important. There could be many different kinds of triggers for the sort of behaviour you describe.

Finding the trigger and setting firm boundaries that children can work within is key, I think.

MUM2BLESS · 28/12/2009 14:05

Thanks for your reply. When you faced these challenges did you feel that the parents were supporting you with what you were doing? Where the parents themselves firm?

I have children of different racial and cutural background, therefore the parents deal with things differently.

I have four kids of my own and five children who I mind. I am quite firm with my own. With the minded children I try to involve the parents whenever I need to.

For the new year I will not tolerate the behaviour which was displayed in 2009. ie biting, screaming when not able to get own way etc, etc. etc.

Have you got children of your own too? hope you dont mind me asking. I will also try ensure that my kids have my time also. If anyone ask me for my services I will not take this on if it is not right for my family. During the holiday time (2010) I will only have one child per day. I will not take on lots of children for the money only.

Thanks you once again!!

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llllll · 28/12/2009 16:23

Hi these are my thoughts for 2010. I have a vacancy coming up at the end of Feb and I am going to be very careful that the right child fits in with the other children and my family. I had a very hard situation just before xmas with an after-schooler whose behaviour towards my children and me made my job very hard. I am not prepared to put up with it just for the money.

TheIronLady · 29/12/2009 01:39

Hi Mum2bless, your thoughts are similar to mine as well as IIIIII in that I do not take any child just for the money, the child has to 'fit' in. I do not mean that I discriminate against race, SEN, 'disadvantaged' etc it just means that whoever I offer a place to, must fit in with the current children that I care for, this could mean nap times, arrival, pickup, age etc there are lots of things that I consider when talking to a prospective parent. I think it also boils down to the fact that at the interview stage, I am just as much interviewing the parent and they are me. I too have had children from different cultures and backgrounds but whoever I am thinking of offering a place to, I feel that I need to be able to gell with the child as well as the parent.

I do have children of my own (young adults now though, although still living at home) so not in the same situation as you, I do not have to share my attention with minded children as well as my own.

When the sharing issues occurred, I did discuss this with the parents purely from the point of view that I wanted to know if their child was displaying the same sort of behaviour when with the parent say at playgroup or with friends/their children so I feel it is important to involve parents. When the smacking issue arose with one child, I did discuss with parent for same reasons above and discussed ways in which we could work together on best ways to discourage this sort of behaviour.

I have also had one or two very 'difficult' parents during my childminding career, this was my biggest challenge!

You sound as though you have thought what best fits in with you and your family for 2010 so hopefully you will find things a little easier as time goes on.

Good luck

MUM2BLESS · 30/12/2009 21:11

Thanks again, It is interesting to know that I am not alone with what I have experienced.

Even though my eldest child is 14 believe you me I am still learning!!

When you speak to other childminders some have simular issues others face different challenges.

Its great to know that we can give advice and support to each other.

I will keep in touch with mumsnet whenever possible.

THANKS

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