Any advice about having a mother's helper?

[eastendmummy]

I'm expecting ds 2 in April and currently ds1 goes to a childminder once a week which he really enjoys and it give me time to do all the jobs at home.

I'm thinking that it may be better to have a mother's help for the first few months when ds2 arrives but not sure if it's possible as ds1 will only be 2 and a bit. I want someone to do a bit of stuff in the house - washing, a bit of cooking, just generally making sure it doesn't become a tip plus also taking ds1 to a couple of playgroups in the week so that I can have a bit of one on one time with ds2.

Has anyone used a mother's helper? How did you go about finding one and how was their role defined? Can I use one with my young dcs or are they only suitable when they are older?

Thank you!

I used one in similar circumstances to you, though my DS was just 3. The Mother's Help did lots around the house and took DS to the park and helped keep him amused.

Also, it was great to be able to hand the baby to her at home, so DS and I could do some activities together.

The recommendation with a Mother's Help is that they're not supposed to do any unsupervised childcare - so your judgement as to whether you want them to go out with older children. Ours was great and would recommend the extra pair of hands.

We lived in London at the time, found her through Gumtree (checked references etc).

Thanks sdr.

Does anyone else have experience/advice?

I used one when I was on maternity leave with DS2; DS1 is 19 months older than his brother.

I'd thought I would get one on one time with baby but DS1 had other ideas. I got one on one time with DS1 instead, while the mother's help cooed at baby which he liked.

My worst time of day was teatime - babe glued to boob, DS1 tired and throwing food or tantrums or both. An extra pair of hands then was great.

I found my helper (she was normally a sole charge au pair/nanny who had a collection of part time jobs) was actually better when left in sole charge, because she would just get on with it. When I was around she wanted to be micro-managed. The other thing that worked was to give her specific jobs, like ironing, and she would just arrive at work and do those.

I had one in a more unofficial way for about 3 years when the kids were preschool-ish. She started when ds was about 19 months old and I was 7 months pg with dd2, dd1 was 3.

She was a local older lady who's youngest (of 6) had started school and she wanted a job. I was really ill with the pregnancy and afterwards and needed help. She would come 2 mornings a week and tidy/clean the kitchen, bathroom, do washings, iron if needed (not often) hoover, and supervise ds (dd1 was at playgroup). She's pick dd1 up form playgroup which was great as I don't drive and we lived fairly rurally at the time. If there wasn't much cleaning to do, she'd cook a meal and/or tidy the children's room up.

It was an absolute Godsend, I can tell you. The kids adored her and we still go to visit her if we are in the area, which we left over 3 years ago.

It was an "informal" arrangement but she was well known locally to be fabulous, so I wasn't too worried about references etc (it really was a remote community).

Thanks for your replies. I'm going to look into it as I think it sounds like a good solution for our family.

My Aunt had a mothers help on the birth of her third (I think) child. Asked her to stay for 3 months as a summer job. 30 odd years later and 5 or children later she is still there now helping with grandchildren.

Hi

This is something I would be interested in, if you want to get in contact my email is [email protected] !

I have 2.5yrs experience with children aged 3 weeks to 12 yrs old, but mostly with 8mth - 5 yr olds. However, I am interested in possibly going into Maternity Nannying, so am wanting more experience with little ones if at all possible! (Have only had shared charge of under 8mth-olds).

I will be available until June/July 2010.

Feel free to get in contact!!

Beth