Nanny resigned after 3 weeks! Do I give her Xmas pay?

[florenceuk]

Our nanny resigned after 3 weeks (because she found dealing with my two kids too stressful ), and gave us notice for the week ending 8th Jan. This is just the most awful time to find someone - with the Xmas break, it may appear to be a month but is more like about two weeks. This is for after school and holiday care, nanny had some childcare experience but not qualified. TBH I think DD is difficult, she is very good at school, but she is a very stroppy and stubborn 5yr old - but then again, she's 5 - most of her defiance consists of not listening and an awful lot of screaming, which I am doing my best to ignore/discipline.

Anyway, should I pay her for the holiday period - we're taking holidays from the 23rd to the 3rd anyway, and it feels just wrong to give her a week and half holiday pay. But then again, I'd like her if possible not to spend her last few weeks in a resentful frame of mind and make matters worse. What should I do?

cynical - you fab - never

i agree - but if has to give 4weeks then she would have to come back after ny for a week

I'm afraid I'm not a nanny so can't give any advice on the financial / legal side of things.

Have you tried looking at it from the nanny's point of view though. I know she needs to be professional, but surely nannys are all different, as we all are. Perhaps the other children she has had have all being perfect little darlings? Perhaps she isn't used to a child behaving like this? If you recognise that your 5 yr old can behave like this, do you know that she isn't behaving much worse towards the nanny when you are not there? Perhaps you just have a super sensitive nanny who is only able to "cope" with super well behaved children.

In a way I think she did the right thing, rather than holding on and pretending, she came clean and said she wasn't coping. That must have been quite hard for her to do. Perhaps she was hoping you'd suggest a plan of action to sort your childs behaviour out? If she didn't say anything then she wouldn't be looking after the children properly if she really can't cope, and that would be far worse IMO.

I too have a 5 yr old who can throw the worst tantrums ever and be extremely stubborn and cheeky to me. However she is as good as gold at school and would never behave like this with anyone else. You must have been mortified to hear this. Also, although she can scream for England on some occasions (and screams until she realises I am ignoring her then she comes to say sorry and for a cuddle) I wouldn't say it was a regular thing. You say your 5 yr old screams a lot. What does she scream for exactly?

I'm sure giving notice until the New Year was meant to be helpful, just not that helpful for me given very few people are looking actively for a job in Xmas week and the week after.

DD does sound a bit of a nightmare, but I'm pretty sure it is a phase albeit a very unpleasant one. The screaming is pure histrionics which I think you can really only extinguish with ignoring/time out. What puzzles me is that she felt she could "let it out" with the nanny whereas clearly at school she feels a lot of pressure to be very good.

Take that as a good thing. Mine are angels at school but not with me.