Hmmm CM.

[Hando]

I am totally out of ideas trying to find a childminder fro my dd. I start my new job in Jan and need someone to pick her up from school.

I've posted on here, on netmums and called our local council for their up to date childminder lists - nothing. It seems the school she goes to doesn't have many CM's who do pick ups from there.

I have managed to find just 2 CM's that have a space and can do the school run for me. However, I have reservations about both. Perhaps I'm being daft, haven't had a CM before so perhaps my "problems" are not actually problems at all. I haven't met with either yet, just been emailing back and forth.

CM1 lives in a flat, up 2 flights of stairs and has no garden. During holidays my dd will be with CM a couple of full days and I hate the thought of her not having a garden to let off steam in. This CM also has her own 6 mth old baby, so I invisage the CM will be spending lots of time and attention on her baby rather than my dd?

CM2 lives locally but has told me that she has a 2 yr old of her own and two 3yr old mindees. In the full days that dd (6) spends with them during the holidays I imagine she is going to have to go to various toddler groups, soft play and age appropriate activities for these younger ones. I can see her getting bored and therefore unhappy. Anyone else see this as a problem?

Thanks in advance for advice.

I think you have to accept that most CMs have children of various ages - you can always ask the CM how she will deal with activities for/needs of each age group. Most toddler groups don't run in school holidays btw, and surely a soft play place is perfect for catering for children from 2 to 6? Ask the first CM how she'll provide outside space - is there a park nearby?

We live up three flights of stairs and my ds certainly needs to let off steam! We spend a lot of time in the nearby park and local museums if it's wet.

Definitely reasonable to ask what her plans are for outdoor play, eg does she make sure they get out every day etc (unless really rubbish weather), but I wouldn't say it was a deal breaker all else being well.

As regards younger children, that's part and parcel of having a childminder imo, and an important skill is catering for the children's different needs.

I think I was hoping to find a CM who had other school age children rather than under 4's. Personally I think soft play is vile so I wouldn't let my dd go there anyway. The one near us is filthy and stinks. Unattended kids all over the place. The CM couldn't possibly supervise my active dd and 3 toddlers at the same time. It's just not going to be an option for us.

I have just had an email from a lady asking if I would like to nanny share with her and she lives in my street so I may do that, once I spoken with her.

I think most CMs have a mixture of under 4's and school age children, as they wouldn't make enough money from just before and after school. TBH, it's not really that different to a family where you have school-age and younger children.

When your child goes to a childminder, you do have to accept that they will not do everything exactly as you would do it at home.

From what you say about not wanting your daughter to go to soft play and toddler groups, it sounds as if a nanny share might be better for you (if you can find a nanny to do the hours you want).

With a nanny, you are the boss, and you can dictate what the nanny does with your child. This is not the case with CMs, as they are self-employed, so it only really works if you can find a CM who you trust and who you share a basic ideas about childcare with.

(I am not a massive fan of soft play myself, BTW, but I absolutely trust my CM and would be happy for her to take DD there.)

surely a 6 year old doesnt need supervised 24/7 if you tell them where you are surely they will run around and play and come back to where your sitting. my nearly 3 year old goes to soft play and always knows where i am and can make her way bk to the table no problem at all.
i dont take my minded children to soft play i find it cost to much for them all term time we go to toddler groups holidays we got to parks musuems ect

just bare in mind that if you do the nanny share that although you are the boss there may be things they nanny/ other family want their child to do that you may not want yours to do so that would cause a problem.

Definitely sounds like a nanny might be better for you, so you have more control over your DD's day.

I don't know about your area but where I am you won't find a cm that has mainly school age kids because it doesn't pay enough. You need full-day placements to pay the rent, which means toddlers.

My CM lives in a flat but has twice daily outings to parks and local groups so the lack of garden wouldn't worry me - I imagine your DD would have more fun on an outing to the local park than knocking around a garden by herself.

But the pre-school children - I can't see how you are going to get around that. Toddlers are bread and butter to childminders. I'd be quite surprised if you can find one who does mainly older kids - though perhaps it varies from area to area. Maybe a nanny is going to suit you better?

Why not go with the childminder for term time only and in the holidays use the local leisure centre holiday club.
Some childminders will offer term time contracts only, i do, I charge slightly more for it.
In the holidays there are some fab council run holiday clubs, and use your holidays for the rest or a babysitter.
The holiday clubs are often subsidised and are cheap, I pay around £15 per day for a sports club run by the council.
Also check other schools in the area for holiday clubs often open to everyone.

Thanks all. I do realise that in families children are expected to mix with others of different ages. However, I feel that if I am paying someone £6.50 an hour to look after my dd then I wouldn't want her doing things /going places that she finds boring just because the younger kids like it - something that would of course be necessary in normal family life.

Danthe4th - It's a great idea, and one I will look into. Iknow we have no subsidised play schemes round here, they are about £40 a day. However, we went to look at one last year and it was extremely badly run. Kids wondering about all over the place, no structure, kids bored etc. I am hoping to fina another one close by though, lookig into it now.

xoxcheerxox I guess we all have different ideas of supervising a child. I wouldn't let my daughter go off out of sight now, and definitely not when she was 3. In sight is fine, but I do not like the idea of her going off and playing where I can't see her all the time and randomly wondering back to my table when she wants to. I certainly wouldn't expect a CM to let my daughter go off and play without keeping her in sight. I find that quite worrying actually. Same goes for at the park, I sit where I can see dd, but she is always in sight and I will generally walk around the park watching her play. I wouldn't expect a CM to sit on a bench and let the kids play and run back to her when they feel like it.

You never let your 6 year old play out of sight? In a park, sure - but even in a secure play centre?

why dont you have a cm for after school only then in the hols book her into local holiday clubs ie at a leisure centre etc

Doesn't your dd's school have an after school program. My kids have been using one since nursery and it's fantastic. LIke one long playdate for them.

Missus84 - No never. Our play centres is massive. The only thing that makes it "secure" is the staff operated entry and exit gate. There is nothing to stop anyone walking in, grabbing a child and walking out. Kids can access all areas including upstairs, mens and womens loos etc. So many times I have seen panic stricken parents with the staff looking for missing kids who have been let play and then not been seen for half hour and the parents worry. kids are always found (I assume) but usually playing in the loos or hanging around out the back.

I'm not generally one of these "every stranger must be a paedo" parents, but I do see risk where risk is and do everything I can to eliminate it as much as possible. If I ever find a CM then I'd expect them to be just as careful. In fact if I was looking after someone elses child I know I would be more careful than I am even with my own child.

£6.50 an hour for a Childminder, Jesus Christ where do you live, that's over 50% more than CMs charge in my area!

Really? So they charge £4.50 in your area? I live in SE London. Every one I have spoken to charges £6-£6.50 an hour.

London is more expensive than elsewhere, and hourly rates for part-time/before and after school are often higher than full time places.

Where I am rates are more like £3.50-£4 an hour.

I charge £4ph in South East, £6.50 seems such a lot to me but then again, I'm not in London so maybe normal there.

As for activities, I personally do lots of day trips in the school holidays and don't tend to use toddler groups. I do activities which suit all the ages I look after. In the summer hols there are lots and lots of picnics, feeding the ducks, walking, running around. We go to various parks (been known to go to the park at the back of my house and spend almost the whole day there with a picnic, toys, lots of drawing material with clipboards etc. so they can do other things aswell as playing in the actual park bit), fruit picking, trips to country parks, woods, outdoor paddling pools etc etc. Believe me, my lot never get bored.

Having said all that, I do think that you'd feel better with a nanny but it would be good to have one who mixes with other carers with children (most do I think) as it's nice for them to mix with other children.

I think you might need an au pair. Then she can work from your house and it'll just be her/him and your DD. Or would a nanny share be possible if you don't want someone living with you?

Have you considered a childcare student so someone who will have a little knowledge and some experience with children and be able to do after school then some more hours in the holidays, I am thinking a 16-17yr old in sixth form/college. You would be looking to pay £3-£5 an hr depending on the students experience and whether they have any other qualifications such as a first aid course or a babysitting course.

I guess you would find this sort of person by ringing local college or secondary school with a sixth form and asking to speak to whoever is in charge of childcare courses and then get them to out feelers out for you amoungst their students.

I'm north London and £6.50 an hour is normal here too. £5.00-£7.50 is about the range.

Thanks all. An au pair isn't an option as until we move we don't have a spare room, plus I want someone who is qualified and registered until my dd is a little older.

I have contacted a lady about a nanny share, going to meet with her next week.