Calling all childminders what would you do?

[GiveMeChocolateNOW]

One of mindees parents has been drunk when collecting their child and I could smell the alcohol when I bumped into them on the school run the other day.

Mindee is getting more and more withdrawn and I am getting really worried about the situation.

I know that both parents like a drink, but it's obviously a problem.

Do you have a good enough relationship that you can say something to them?

Or could you have a word with the child's teacher and see what they think?

Tough situation to be in and I am not sure what I would do. But you are right that something needs to be done.

Do you mean, one mindees parent was drunk and the other accompanying parent was sober? or that you released a child to a drunk parent, who was alone?

That's the prob they are also good friends (Iknew tham before I started CMing). In any other circumstance I'd have no prob talking to the teacher, although I do think she ought to know.

They like a drink but I thing every now and then it turns into a but of a bender for one of them.

DH said he's have a word if I wanted him to. He has also had some bad episodes with alcohol (though not that bad and would never ever be drunk around dc's) so it might be better coming from him.

Released child to drunk parent other parent was due home not long after but that's not the point.

It's really awkward as they are friends, much easier to be tough when there's a bit of distance.

Well then youy should report it, using whatever the systems in place are

I dont think that you or dh talking to them is a good ides tbh

Is this just an xmas thing (free drink at office parties etc) or more serious?

You must taking into acccount safeguaring procedures and start writing everything down, especially if the child is starting to be withdrawn, note down the specific behaviour of the mindee and the parents, if it continues you can then discuss with the parent, if it is serious enough that they are drunk when collecting their child then you may have to take more drastic measures - as difficult as it may be think of the child not your friendship.

It happened once last year (at around the same time), I think there were repercussions with the other partner then and it hadn't happened since ... untill the other day. It's not just a Christmas thing, definately more serious but I really do think parent in question has been trying not to. It might be connected to the anniversary of the death of a family member.

Yes RosieGirl, your right, it's the child that's important. I have been recording concerns.

The prob is if I rock to boat to much they may end up removing the child from my care. That would prob do even more damage. I have to tread very carefully.

If it happens again I will have to contact the LSCB and speak to school. No point speaking to parents, they will only start hiding it.

Gotta go now, will be back later ... thanks a million for all the advice

How old is the mindee, does teacher have contact at hometime with parent for handover, in which case it may be more appropriate to speak to teacher about this, they may be aware of other instances as well. I see from your that you regret handing over to drunk parent, it is important that this doesn't happen again, if something happened you would never forgive yourself. Friend or no friend a child should never be in the care of an adult who is under the influence of alcohol, this parent had obv had a few for you to post that they were drunk.

Agree keep DH out of it, what you need to remember is that whilst mindee is in your care you are a professional CM not a friend and must treat this family the same way you treat others that you are contracted too,this means following the same proceedures and safeguarding actions.

safeguarding training says that you have no right to stop the parent taking the child!! you can bring the subject up or you could offer them a coffee and sit down for a while to sober up? speak to your network coordinator or ofsted. were they driving? you could have given a call to the police! dont need to give your name. record record record every time this happens and if you are really concerned (friend or not) give social services a call. how would you feel if something happened to the child and you hadnt atleast tried to do something. all the best x

it is a straight forward child protection issue. You are duty bound to report your concern following set down procedure that local authority have in place. Friend or not that childs welfare is your responsibilty.
Can't believe their is any debate about how to proceed. So what if they remove child you have passed on a concern to relevant authorities.

Ideally (as you have said you are friends) it would be better to be open and honest.
If you can, how about asking the parent for a chat in private? Be sympathetic and mention that you are concerned and why.
You can explain what you did in your initial post.
Give the parent a reminder of your safe guarding policy and explain how you are bound by regulations.
There is always a possibility that you may jeapordise your relationship over this but we must never allow the parents "life-story" to influence our judgement over a childs welfare.
Good luck-difficult for all.

Follow the child protection procedures as advised by your local authority. Just try to forget that you know them and record and report.

as they are friends would it not be easier to talk to them as a friend or make a remark/comment about it. i childmind friend children and find it easier to talk to them as i just talk to them like a friend and tell them what i think. where as other parents i can get nervous about mentioning certain things as they may remove there child if not happy where as usually my friends send there kids to me as it is me, a friend that the no trust and that there child alreadt knows.

You may have already proceeded with it but I would recommend following your safeguarding procedures. If you feel you can't take this step yet then You can get advice from NCMA safeguarding - they will put you in touch with your local NCMA safeguarding rep who will advise you. Or give NSPCC a call.

You can't not do anything - you have already expressed your concerns on here and to me that speaks volumes.

Good luck

I have an drugs and alcohol policy! If I believe the parent is under the influence of alcohol and I'm concerned for the child's safety then they have to make alternative arrangements for that child. I would point out to them that you are going against your own policy and it puts you in a difficult position should someone cotton on and question you!

When you say the parent was drunk, do you mean his/her speech was so slurred you couldn't understand it and he/she was falling down and couldn't walk straight or do you mean you could smell alcohol on his/her breath as if he/she had had a pint at the pub?

Surely we don't go calling in SS everytime a parent gets a but tipsy.

Tonight DH and I will have a couple of glasses of wine while the children are sleeping upstairs. I hope no one calls SS.