CMs: have a look here please - i'd value your opinion!

[Numberfour]

here

I've read it and glad to see you calmed down a bit towards the end.
Nothing worse than getting over involved with someone who you have to see often because you look after the child.
I would definately help get a support network in place.
The child must have some friends can you get 6 parents to hand over some numbers where the child would be happy to go, also get her to sort out an emergency babysitter that she could call, there must be someone close, even an older teenager. Then you could commit to a couple of days if you still felt you had to.
Be honest, tell her you can't help as your dh has booked the time off work and you plan to be out but then offer to help sort out some help.good luck x

I think you do right - Christmas is family time - I know its a time for giving and looking out for others too but you shouldn't feel backed into a corner.
This is why I never allow (anymore) business and friendship to cross over. Been there done that, I have also had the friends who take take take and expect expect expect.

For what its worth, IF she went into labour xmas day would this LO not just 'fit' into you family day? Depends if you are going to make the distinction between 'working' boundaries etc.

Whatever happens you need to make the right decision for yourself and family otherwise you are going to feel resentful towards her.

thanks, danthe4th and pippin26. it is sort of out of my hands now, because DH has said in no uncertain terms NO. Says if i want to help out i have to go to hers. he is not a prat and is not being mean, just wants me and DS all to himself for a change. and our house to ourselves and i agree.

the LO could slot in, but whenever ther is another one around, even just to play on the weekend, it lands up me running around after the LO and DS being with DH.

i want them both to myself too.

i should never have said yes and i will be saying no now. awful thing because someone is going to hate me no matter what i do.

YOW! i have not felt this sorry for myself in ages.