Help Needed with Childminder

[maebella]

Hi Everyone

I seem to have come accross a couple of issues with my Childminder.
She is a lovley Lady who looks after my 2 daughters 2yrs and 10months.
When my 2yr old is with me at home for the 4 days she doesn't sleep and then is ready for bed at half 7 8 the latest. But when with the childminder she sleeps from anything between an hour to 2 hrs. And then doesn't go to sleep until at least 11pm. I raised this issue with my childminder about maybe not allowing her to sleep for that long maybe just 45min or not at all, but she doesnt seem to want to do this as she informed me she works long days and needs a lunch break as she's shattered. Is this normal? Ive been with her since Sept as she is newly qualified. I really don't want any friction between us as i do think she is brill! And the kids love her. A couple of other things have happened to where ive felt like a usless parent as she dictates to me?

I don't use a CM but I think I would insist in this case that she does limit her nap time. 45 mins is long enough to have lunch.

thats not how its done! i work from 7 am until 7pm and would never dream of putting a child to sleep against your wishes to have a break. not good. As childminders we as much as possible listen to your wishes and work around them. the child minder knew what she was taking on when you came to see her. what else is bothering you?

My 2yr old was mostly off the bottle but since our new arrival she has slowly got back to having it in the moring and night time. I was lectured on how bad it was for her to use the bottle at her age especially for her teeth! I take her regularly to the dentist as i had such awful problems so didnt want her to have the same and he has never commented on her teeth being bad. Maybe im just picking but it anoys me to think someone else is judging my parenting skills when i thought i done a good job! hmm

You decide how much your child sleeps - not your CM. My 2y10m doesn't sleep at all - she dropped her nap months ago. And your CM should not be lecturing you about the bottle - again, these are your decisions not hers. I think you need to be clear about this, asap.
goodluck
madcows

I think I was firm with her on the phone, but will talk to her when she brings them home. She told me that she is shattered, but its not really my fault that she has my 2 plus her 14mth, and another 18mth old and 2 after schoolers plus her 11yrold. She has an assistant to? Do you know if they are legally entitled to to a break and if so how long? Not that i would not want her to have a break but i pay her to look after the kids!

She should be working with you as the parent. I have lots of different children who sleep at different times, several that do not anymore, instead they have some quiet time, so the ones asleep are not disturbed and they get a bit of rest.

You are perfectly within your rights to have a chat and detail what your child/ren need as long as they are reasonable requests which this is.

She should be working with you not against your wishes, If your child very obviously was tired would you be happy for her to have a quiet time watching a bit of tv/reading books while she has her lunch, if it was me I would allow a child to do this and if they fell asleep then let them have an hour at most. I wouldn't keep the child awake if they needed a nap.
Where is your child sleeping? I would ask that she wasn't put in a cot and perhaps encoraged to sit on a bean bag or the settee. Every child needs a rest but not all children needs a sleep. She should be taking the childs needs into account.
No we are not legally entitled to a break, but we can all organise all the children to have a sleep/quiet time at the same time.

She should accept that CMs do not get a lunch break. It's part of the job. I would not keep a very tired child awake, but I also would not put a child to bed just to suit myself. She should be working with you, to support what you are doing with your children.

Sounds like she is in the wrong job. Ignore her about the bottles too.

Thanks for all your help guys... Im still really upset by being challenged by her about this and to be told that she was shattered! Should she really have so many children in her care then if this is the case? Orignally when we first met etc we were told that on the days she had my girls she wouldnt be taking on any other children, this has turnt into another child and 2 after schoolers so a lot of running around.
I am going to speak to her this evening about what it is she expects as a childminder and from me the parent. She allows my daugther too sleep on the sofa and my youngest in a cot, i understand that children do get tired and need to take time out this is why i suggested a 45min break at most!!

As she has an assistant, I would expect that she is within her numbers. You can check how many children she can care for on Ofsted's website (if not in England, check with your area's regulator).

I'm not a childminder, I'm a nanny so I work a bit differently. The very-nearly-2-year-old I care for varies his naps each day, sometimes having little to none (napping only whilst in the car for example) or like today he takes a longer nap (couple of hours) as he got exhausted from all the walking he did. So I feel the amount of sleep a child has will depend on how active they have been during the day.

Asking your childminder to wake your child after say 45-1hour sounds a reasonable request. Then stick with a regular bedtime routine including a fairly fixed time, so that your DD gets used to going to sleep at that time.

She should be doing as you ask and if she is too tired then she needs to have less children or change jobs. You can't be expected to have your child up until 11 at night so the CM can have a break!

i would mention to her about trying to put all the children down around the sametime so she gets a quick coffee,quick tidy up and gets sorted for the afternoon but then to wake your daughter up after about 45mins.
about the bottle what she says is true especailly if its juice that is in the bottle. im sure you health visitor would adise you that your child should be using a cup.
i have been known to give parents adivise without them asking as i have known that they really dont no as mayb its there 1st child or they are young parent and i tell them as i have experience and knowledge about whatever the issue maybe my parents are usually grateful as otherwise they wouldnt no whats best ect.
i probably wouldnt give advise to an older parent (with older children) about there toddler without them asking as they would have experienced everything with there oldest child.

I try to get the children to have a bit of quiet time after their lunch and I go put the TV on as sometimes I dont get to sit down till 1-1.30 for a er "lunch break" if you can call it that. I think not having a lunch break is part of the job!! Have you tried a beaker of milk rather than in a bottle, I think they are better for teeth.

It is totally up to you how long your child naps for and the childminder should respect that. You do not have to ensure she gets a break - childminders (and nannies!) don't get a break really unless a hurried (barely warm) cup of tea whilst reading 'dear zoo' counts?

The only thing I would say is that I would hope that whilst your child is with a childminder I would expect she is doing lots of things with them so they may be more tired than if they were at home.

My parents normaly say no sleeping after 3.30pm or only for x amount of time.

Agree your minder should be working with you, I work with an assistant but even so it's a long busy day 6.30 - 7ish, but thats the job, no breaks, lots of undrunk cups of coffee and always needing a wee and having to hang on. Children all have different routines it is very rare that children sleep at the same time, as a cm I could change things so that those that do nap all go at the same time, but that isn't fair on the child or the parents. I get paid to care for a child as an individual and treat them as such, however awkward it may make our day.

Being shattered as she puts it is part of the territory, if she can't cope with the mindees she has she should re-think who she cares for or her routine.

she is out of order she cant use your childs nap times as a break, stand your ground and say that you want her to sleep for 1 hour MAX. I am sorry but 2 year old dont need a 2 hour sleep, and she is being out of order

A private nursery in Leeds has complained about the difficulty of meeting Ofsted requirements while complying with requests from parents, following an action taken against it by the inspection body for waking a sleeping child.
Staff at Sunbeams nursery, which has 62 children registered, said that they were responding to a request from one child's parents that the child should be distracted from having a late sleep in the afternoon. The parents said that napping in the afternoon meant that the child's sleep pattern was disturbed throughout the night.

Ofsted became involved after an anonymous complaint was made to it that staff at the nursery were not letting children sleep.

Sunbeams staff explained the child's particular circumstances and said that they were following parents' wishes. However, the nursery was given the action because Ofsted said that nursery staff should prioritise the rights of the child rather than requests from parents.

Nursery manager Shelley Briggs told Nursery World, 'This is a common dilemma for nursery nurses. Parent partnership is part of the Early Years Foundation Stage and good practice, but Ofsted would not enter into a debate.

'It's a grey area. We do not want to step on parents' toes, but Ofsted says that it is about the rights of the child, and the child needed to sleep. We are going to send a letter out to parents informing them of what has happened and tell them that they will have to contact Ofsted if they want to discuss the issue further. The issue hasn't yet come up again with this particular child, but it will do.'

Early years advisor Dr Maria Robinson said, 'This is a delicate situation and I think that staff need to try to unpick the issue and find out why the child might be waking in the night. There is usually a reason why a child does not want to go to bed. A three-year-old probably still needs a short sleep in the afternoon.'

goodness me, what a stupid situation, I am a cm and dont let any of the toddlers sleep after 3 oclock.

They all have long sleeps before that and then we have a riotous afternoon followed by tea and then calming stories.

The children go home ready for bath, story and bed at 7.

parents happy children happy!!!

That cm sounds like a lazy cow to me, I have my lunch break with the children.

As for Dr Maria Robertson,obviously she and Ofsted know the childrens needs better than their own parents. What bollocks

LOL @ As for Dr Maria Robertson,obviously she and Ofsted know the childrens needs better than their own parents. What bollocks