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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Finding the right childminder

16 replies

Dominique07 · 07/12/2009 16:00

Hi,
My DS is nearly 2.5 and I'm looking for a childminder while I'm at work for the new year. I have spoken to and met a couple of childminders in the local area. One lady is a young fun mum who also looks after DD same age. Only thing was my DS made her DD cry today when they met and that in turn made him cry. Don't think she likes boy things - like playing dinosaurs. Understandable I know!
Shall I just go for it and hope it improves their social skills, or look for a childminder with boys instead. She seems to be one of the better ones to my mind, although she is new and inexperienced so I'm sli-ightly worried she wont be tough enough to discipline DS. He needs to KNOW the rules and then he sticks to them!

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Original poster

Dominique07 · 07/12/2009 16:04

Because she is looking after her own daughter is there a conflict of interests???

OP posts:

nannynick · 07/12/2009 16:12

What sort of activities did the CM suggest that your DS would be doing if he spent his time there? Will he be getting a good walk most days?
Boys are different to girls... has this mother cared for boys before at all? I would be concerned that she may think that all children are the same if she's not had a lot of experience with children. In the past has she had jobs working with children - or is her only experience with children caring for her own DD?
Whatever form of childcare you choose, chances are that your DS will encounter other children of a similar age whom he will either like, or dislike.
How many other childminders have you already seen?

badgerhead · 07/12/2009 16:14

I wouldn't have thought a conflict of interests. Most childminders start because they want to earn whilst their children are young & see it a way of being with their family & earning money.
If you are happy with her care then go for it. Just explain to her that your son needs firm boundaries and do a few settling in visits before starting so that everyone gets to know each other.

Original poster

Dominique07 · 07/12/2009 16:18

Hi thanks for replying - yes we talked about making sure they get out and have a good walk every day i.e. to the park, local stay and play and how boys particularly need to get exercise and fresh air. She seemed to know the 'theory' from training she has undertaken without having cared for children previous to having her DD.
I understand she will rotate visits to local stay and play, toddler groups throughout the week and organise activities at home.
Actually I have been ringing round all the local childminders and there are few who are available (and some who I struggled to communicate with on the phone which made me worry that they could not help DS develop his language) so I have only seen 2! I know I should meet as many as possible.
I am surprised that it is so expensive, same price as local nursery. Also suddenly realise how much you have to trust someone to leave your child at their home.

OP posts:

nannynick · 07/12/2009 16:32

Sounds like she's put some thought into it then, which is great. Communication is a key thing so if you got on well with her, then that's a great start as well.
Go with it, you can always change later on if things don't work out. If you need to start in Jan, you haven't got long... start settling in sessions now so you and your son get better acquainted with the childminder and her DD.

nannynick · 07/12/2009 16:33

Also keep in mind that having another child around most of the day will be new to her DD as well, so will take some time to adjust. Your DS and her DD may end up best of friends within a few weeks, never know your luck.

Original poster

Dominique07 · 07/12/2009 16:49

Thanks! Its kind of making me excited and nervous for DS to 'send him away' to someone else's home! Hopefully it will be very stimulating for him and a happy experience.

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AvadaKedavra · 08/12/2009 08:22

Have to say Nick I am surprised that you think it would be a concern for someone to be looking after a boy if they haven't before, may I ask exactly why you are concerned?

Dominique, trust your instincts, it doesn't matter that she is a new Cm, that you've only seen 2 CMs, if you feel you can work with her, sort out problems without both getting the huff, if you trust that she would know what to do in an emergency then go for it, and as to money, well you have to pay for quality childcare

Laquitar · 08/12/2009 08:42

'and how boys particularly need to get exercise and fresh air'.

I never knew that girls need less fresh air

Original poster

Dominique07 · 09/12/2009 13:46

Oh yes sorry Laquitar - I mean some parents of girls have been shocked at how active DS is all day long, althogh all toddlers are. He needs to really get lots of exercise and I wanted to emphasise to her as childminder that he will need to go out in the morning and afternoon or he will be running up the walls in her small flat. He literally needs to run, jump and throw himself into the air - he is FULL of energy and only then will he be able to sit down and focus on something like reading or drawing. Of course its rediculous to say only boys need exercise or fresh air.

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Original poster

Dominique07 · 09/12/2009 13:53

How do childminders get children to sleep? I find it hard enough to settle DS for his nap, exercise to get him tired enough and then a calm activity and then maybe push him in the pushchair and lie down, maybe even go through the evening bedtime routine.
I'm worried DS will be exhausted and will fall asleep at 5.30pm everyday on the way home, which is very late for a nap.

OP posts:

SillyMillysMummy · 09/12/2009 14:23

i am a fairly new cm and nap times worried me too i have found it surprisingly easy tbh, far easier than with my dd, i think the key is routine, all of my children now nap at the same time which is great for me (means i can catch up on mn gossip) and it leaves them rested for mum

hth

SillyMillysMummy · 09/12/2009 14:24

oh and i should say, my sleep routine is directly after lunch, they have nappies changed and are put down in a travel cot, each one is different as to how long they take to get to sleep, but they all do it very well.

RosieGirl · 09/12/2009 17:39

Of course girls needs lots of fresh air, but I have been on a course for behaviour and studies have shown that boys concentrate for longer if they have had exercise first.

As a mum of two girls, when I had my first little boy it did take a little time to adjust, but there was no real issue, there is a difference, but obviously it is important to treat each child as an individual.

Laquitar · 09/12/2009 19:33

Ah ok Dominique. Don't worry, i was in bad mood when i was reading your post .

The reason i was a bit is because i have one boy and two girls, ds is quite child and a bookworm, dd1 is very active and sporty no way to keep her indoors all day. I really think is down to the child regardless of gender.

As for the nap, what you suggest - exercise and then wind down time and then nap - sounds good to me. I was told that pasta, potatoes, banana and the combination of milk and oatcake are good foods before nap.

silvya · 10/12/2009 10:14

Iam a CM ,maybe DS could have a few taster sessions before you commit,
if anyone is looking for childcare in Egham i do have full day and school dropoff and pick up vacancy.

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