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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

A bit odd

15 replies

Hellavamum · 05/12/2009 01:00

OK. So I have a nanny looking after our 8mth old DS. He loves her. We have had various problems with regards to car crashes and disagreements over "rules" which I have let go for the good of our long term relationship. She's a live in nanny. I have come home tonight after a very long day to find that she has totally reorganised my sitting room. Furniture in different positions, pictures changed, TV in a different slot. I feel totally flabergasted. Isn't this a little odd?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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frakkinaroundthechristmastree · 05/12/2009 01:02

In a word, yes.

And car crashes? Disagreements over rules? Re-arranging your sitting room? And you're still putting up with this?!

She can't have been there that long if your DS is only 8 months.

juneybean · 05/12/2009 01:04

Eh...... I might re-organise some of my charge's toys but never would i re-arrange their furniture?!

littlestarschildminding · 05/12/2009 08:43

Yes...odd!!

I think her intentions were probably good. She sounds young and keen and like she hasn't quite acclimatised to moving from HER family home where she could do things like that to work in another families home where frankly it's not ok.

I would be gentle and say that you appreciate that her intentions were good but that you were actually quite happy with the way your home is and while you would welcome suggestions on how to improve it you would like to make any changes personally.

You should be setting the rules in your home....you shouldn't be 'letting' them go for the good of your long term relationship. If you do said nanny will most likely walk all over you forever.

YOU are the boss. Its YOUR home.

I think a serious chat may be in order!

nannynick · 05/12/2009 10:20

Yes, very odd. During the course of a day with children, an item of furniture may get moved - to create more play space, to hunt for items children have pushed under it, or some reason like that. With an 8 month old, not sure what reasons there could be really, though if in a babywalker perhaps, moving an item of furniture may be needed so that the walker fits through a gap. If I've moved an item of furniture, sometimes I have forgotten to move it back at the end of the day. Only human, I forget things sometimes.
I've been known to reorganise toy boxes but that is far more in my remit, than reorganising an entire room.

~~ Car crashes and disagreements over "rules"

Worrying, crashes implies more than one... was your DS in the car for those? Your car, or her's? What rules?

Sounds like this nanny may not be a match made in heaven... you need to nip things in the bud, you are the boss you make the key decisions.

Ebb · 05/12/2009 11:22

Erm...... no that's not normal behaviour. I would maybe ask my employers about moving a piece of furniture if it was unstable and baby was pulling himself up on it but to rearrange everything including the tv and pictures is very strange behaviour!

Although perhaps she's in to feng shui?!

I would definately have words about it and also car crashes and rules. You are trusting her with your most prescious possession and you have to trust that she will do her utmost to keep your ds safe and look after him as you want.

Millarkie · 05/12/2009 12:45

And I thought we had problems with the au pair who rearranged my woodpile throughout the garden (she's not German is she?)
No, rearranging living room furniture is not normal and I would have flipped to be honest. Did she give any explanation? Does she spend her spare time in the living room or does she have tv etc in her room. Has she been a live-in nanny before?
She seems to have boundary issues to say the least.

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/12/2009 13:00

very odd moving furniture

as dc is only 8mths she cant have been there long so get rid now

before she does something else weird!!!

K75 · 05/12/2009 19:00

& good time to do a swap before they are too clingy...good luck...poor you

Original poster

Hellavamum · 05/12/2009 23:49

I'm glad everyone finds this as strange as I do. Our other challenges with this lady are numerous and largely centre around her "forgetting" to do the things I specifically ask in terms of her care of DS. And I was being melodramatic about the car crashes - it's only one, and in her own car. But DS was there and she didn't feel it necessary to give me a call and let me know, afterwards. And after we addressed this and told her that I would like to be called if something semi-serious like this happens, she "forgot" to call me when hit his head on a stone floor in our house and I came home to DS with a bump on the forehead and a big bruise. . This is it, now though. The guilt is too much and I am hiring a temporary nanny who I have already interviewed, and will part ways with our current lady on Monday.

OP posts:

frakkinaroundthechristmastree · 05/12/2009 23:54

Glad you've been able to take that decision. Hope you can find someone more suitable soon.

frakkinaroundthechristmastree · 05/12/2009 23:57

Make sure you do everything according to your contract with your current nanny though - which may include a week's notice/following a disciplinary procedure if what she's done counts as gross misconduct.

littlestarschildminding · 06/12/2009 08:55

Maybe a little more notice required than asking her to leave on Monday?

She is live in? Does she have somewhere to go?

Do you have a contract? If so you will have to go through a disciplinary procedure and give/ pay appropriate notice. Even if your contract is only verbal she does still have rights as your employee.

Tread carefully!

thenewbornnanny · 06/12/2009 09:47

That's freaky... I would get rid too, in the swiftest legal way possible.

Original poster

Hellavamum · 06/12/2009 10:18

Thanks everyone for all of your help. Our nanny is still in her probationary period so we need to give one week's notice as per signed contract. I will pay her this notice period but she will not have to work it, and ask her to leave the house at the end of one week. No need for the disciplinary due to probabation. Luckily I do this kind of thing all the time at work but it's very different at home, which is why I have faffed around a bit with the decision. Not easy when it's so emotive! Thanks again for all of the assistance.

OP posts:

nannynick · 06/12/2009 10:48

It isn't easy when you do it in a larger organisation either. When I worked for a small company (about 15 employees) the MD hated having to tell someone to leave (I was sort of a PA to the MD at that time) so at least I didn't have to do the termination myself, though did have to support the MD before and after.
When terminating an employee, it's often best to pay them their notice period than require that they work it. Having a possibly disgruntled employee hanging around isn't good for anyone.
Good luck with the next nanny.

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