AAARGH just signed with childminder but situation has changed!

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Hi, have posted on this board before about various childcare things, thought I was sorted now but No!

Return to work in March, DS already attends some nursery so have upped his hours there from NY onwards. Hunted for CM for DD (will be 9mo when I return to work. Started looking early because of xmas hols etc. Phoned everyone and no one had a place. Then a lovely CM had a mindee unexpectedly leave and called me. We get on really well, and lives in the next road! Which is fantastic as I don't drive and do shift/night work, so more time catching up on sleep!

She was happy to sign to begin at end of Feb for settling in, and took a £400 deposit just to hold the place (2 weeks fees). Was over the moon to have it all in place.

THEN...out of the blue my manager at work emails me asking if I'm interested in a part time, weekends only position with fixed shifts. I knew these jobs existed but are like gold dust (actually known as dead man's shoes at work!!!) I work in a very male environment and these jobs have already been nabbed by those with families or the older members of staff who are just winding down before retirement.

Anyway, taking this job will leave me a bit better off than paying 2 DCs childcare, plus benefit us l because I'll be home all week.

Basically I have to take it!

Problem is, because I've been off on mat leave for so long I need to retrain for 3 months or more FULL TIME... so will need childcare but only short term.

I feel like I'm conning the CM if I say nothing, as she is waiting all these months to take my DD when she could find another mindee. Her DS is the same age as mine and will be starting school together in sept, so we will prob run into each other a lot, i really feel like I should be truthful with her.

But if she decides to cancel the contract then i'll be high and dry for CM for DD for those few months i need to be F/T. All 8 CMs locally have no space for the foreseeable, and nursery waiting list for baby room is sky high?

What should I do? I'm a worrier, I'll be in a state if I have to sort it at the last minute. But it feels wrong that the CM holds the place for 3months to only take my DD for 3 months..

i would tell the cm
to be honest i would take your dd for 3mths and re advertise for a new child to start in may

Okay, you have signed a contract for full-time care, ongoing from X date, yes? What's the notice period in that contract? 1 month? So 2 months in your just need to tell her that your circs have changed and give your notice.

I wouldn't tell her. She's knowingly taken the deposit to hold the place, signed the contract and, in any case, your fixed weekend job may fall through/anything might happen.

My first thought - having used fabulous CMs for both daughters - is that you should have a chat with her.

So you will actually only need her to look after DD for 3 months but that will be full time. She will be making enough money in those 3 months and will be able to know exactly when she can take on another baby as you will not need her after May?

I appreciate that she could have another enquiry about a baby space but I think you are being very definite in your requirements. You have paid a healthy deposit and will be paying a lot of money for the 3 months you need her. The alternative, for her, is that she may not have any enquiries in the next 4 months anyway.

I am something of a worrier too and appreciate your concerns but I do think you should give her a call and ask to chat about the situation.

Good luck and well done on getting the job offer that really suits you and your family.

Thanks for fast responses!

DH is firmly telling me not to say anything just yet, and after DD has started there tell CM that the part time offer has just come up. These things tend to keep me awake at night (baby sleeps through the night but I regularly get out of bed in the early hours to start researching nannies, or start calculating fees, etc!)

The CM was aware that no one around here has spaces - most of the CM's are her friends! So I feel like she could take on another full time baby easily and there are lots in these nearby roads. I'm crap at not telling the truth and feel uncomfortable if i'm not straight with people.

But on the other hand, who knows what will happen? DH says for all we know she won't manage DD (she will, DD v. easy baby), things will change etc etc.

We got on so well though I feel like she could be my school gate friend in september! So I feel a bit up in the air with it.

Good to hear from both sides, although it does make it more of a dilemma!

forgot to say......There's always a chance though, that I'll be so baby-brained when I return to work that i'll need more than 3 months retraining. My manager said, it takes as long as it takes but most returning after Mat leave do about 3 months! So it could possibly be longer than 3 months but I won't know until i'm back. DD turns 1 in may though so it does change her numbers after that.

I honestly wouldn't say anything because you don't know how it will go. If you feel bad you could always drop vague hints about how you hope you'll get PT or fixed shifts...

I would tell her, because there will be people looking for childcare in May now and she will be cross if she has turned someone away. I am a CM and I would take your DD for 3 months and still be friendly at the school gates (but maybe not if I found out I had turned work away and you knew you were leaving in May).

I can't see what you're worried about, i'm a childminder and these things happen. If you want to tell her then fine but don't feel obliged to just so long as you give her the months notice then I can't see a problem. You could always mention that things may change but you're not sure when then she can always keep in mind any enquiries that are made for the future the same way she rang you.

I wouldn't do anything until you get back to work and see how it goes. The situation, for whatever reason, could look quite different. Especially if there is any chance you may decide that really you don't want to work after all for a bit longer and take a career break. It can be really different going back after the second one (as I am finding).

I too wouldn't mind if something like this happened, like Dan said situations change, I definately would start work though to see how you feel and how the land lies.

I have just had reviews with all my families and everyone was really happy and said no potential changes for the next 6 months, when suddenly one has been offered a fabulous offer to work abroad for a couple of years. I am desperately sad to loose the children I have minded their children for years, the eldest has now gone to school, and it will mean I am loosing the 2 younger siblings at the same time. But I am really happy for the family and working really hard with them to help in the meantime as things are very up in the air at the moment.

Also most clouds can have a silver lining, one of my other families is also changing jobs and may need more childcare which I couldn't offer as I was full, so now am able to help them out.

OK thanks all I do feel a lot better.
I think I will forget it just now and get christmas over with, then maybe mention in the new year that this job might be coming up.