Should I take on my Au Pairs Boyfriend?

[Metrobaby]

Things are going well with my current AP (so far!). In fact she is so happy over here that she now says wants to settle in the UK with her boyfriend who is planning to come over in the new year.

If her boyfriend comes over he will have no work and have to stay in shared accomodation (approx £80+ pw) in greater london. He is a painter decorator by trade. As there are areas of the house that could do with a re-paint I am considering taking him on. This would give him a chance to improve his English,look for a job and also stay with my AP - who I know would be delighted with this arrangement.

Am I mad to consider it? How much should I pay him? If I took him on what sort of things should I make clear?

Does he need a sponsor or is he coming entirely independently?

I would not be involved in anyway in sponsoring him or being responsible for his employment or living arrangements.

If he arrives, try him out as you would any other decorator. I would not have him living in the house. You don't even know him.

If he's ok, employ him as you would any other decorator. Fair terms and so on.

stuffit - he and AP Come from an EU country so I don't believe he needs a sponsor. He would pay for his airfares over too.

I know I don't know him as such - but to be fair I didn't really 'know' my own Au Pair apart from doing all the usual checks and references etc - which I would intend to do with him also. I was thinking along the lines of maybe giving him a 2 week trial period initially, and coming to an agreement as to how long the decorating itself would take. His duties would be purely decorating and no childcare. At the end of the decorating he would be expected to find his own lodgings

Metro: I must admit I still wouldn't do it. How will you get him to leave if you don't like him?

Can you Skype him? How valuable and trustworthy are the references?

I think you need others' views. I think you are kind: and I think your AP and her boyfriend may be using you.

If he gives your address can he go and claim benefits straight away, and then would you have to commit yourself with a reference of your own, without knowing him?

I just don't know about this at all.

I would let him go into the accommodation and take it from there, tbh. He will not be homeless. He could eat with you, but coming without the easy option of your house would show a significant level of commitment.

Thanks for your advice stuffit.

What you say is regarding how things will be if it doesn't work out is one of the things that will be very tricky.

My AP is very trustworthly and honest - one of the things I really like about her. Of course I have no idea what he is like but he used to live with her in her parents home before she came to our house.

There is no way I would give a reference for him if he were to claim benefit. Surely if I was paying him pocket money to do decorating duties it would be fraudulent?

I have 'met' him before on Skype as my AP uses it a lot and via this I have 'met' her family also. He is prepared to give references from his current employer and also from the police in his country.

Anyone else got any thoughts?

I hope you get others' advice Metro. As you see I am cautious to the nth degree, possibly overcautious .

Think it sounds like a great idea...

Make sure you are very clear what you want him to do and for what timescale.

Be clear when he has to move out of your house by and what will happen if he hasn't found a job by then.

I would personally take him on as an 'au pair' same pocket money same rate of pay same amount of hours as your au pair...(or pro rata if longer hours). Include board, lodging and materials for decorating. Be aware if you pay over the current tax threshold you will need to register as his employer etc. Treat him as you would an aupair.

Set clear rules for aupair that while she is working she is working...as could get a bit blurry with bf around.

Good luck with it.

do you no how much current tax threshold is

Would he be living with you? Would you get him a crb check?

i wouldnt put him up - he is coming over anyway to be with his gf/your ap and needs to find accomadation and tbh work by his self

if he lives with you and is crap at decorating, you are stuck with him and could be ill feeling in house

by all means once he has lodgings elsewhere, then you can try him out for a week to see what he is capable of

I wouldn't do it. Once he is in your house with his girlfriend he won't want to leave. You will also have your AP pleading his case and that will cause its own problems.

Supposing they split up and he has nowhere to go?

You also shouldn't assume he would want to paint your house or look after your children, he might have other aspirations.

being a painter/decorater by trade sure he would jump at your offer to do your house as he wont know anyone

I gave my nanny's brother a couple of week's work in my house, to get him 'launched' in the UK, then I could give references about his work for other employers etc.
However I would not have put him up, other than for eg the first 2 nights. The whole point was that his situation had to be sustainable.

he turned out to be so homesick he had to go home, and his English was too poor for finding work (was Czech). nanny was not impressed with her brother!

If you are going to do it, and I offer no opinion either way, I would only do it with strict boundaries.

E.g max two weeks while he finds his feet, AP rates as board provided (avoids the tax issue as well), clear list of tasks that need to be completed in that two weeks, clear warnig to AP to maintain current standards of childcare.

Also goes without saying that be as strict on recruitment process (references etc.) as you would with AP.