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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

I am really cross with my childminder, come and help me broach this without losing my temper....

38 replies

itsmeolord · 09/11/2009 12:53

Hi,

have posted before about childminder who whilst lovely and very very good with kids, does lots with them etc is also terribly disorganised and this has caused issues.

Thought it was sorted. She gave me short notice that she wanted to go away for two weeks, the october halfterm week and the following week. She definitely said two weeks, definitely those two weeks...
I have no holiday at all, only recently started shiny new job that I love.
DP took the week after half term off and I took the half term week off unpaid.

New bosses weren't particularly chuffed and I had to do some work at home etc to appease them.

Anyway, she should have been back end of last week, called and texted. No replies.

Still couldn't get hold of her this morning, took dd to school and bumped into a mum of another child that she minds.

The childminder called her last week to say she would not be back until this Thursday!

I have no childcare for this week now and lots and lots of work to do. Obviously I can work the school hours but my job is normally an work till it's done kind of thing out of necessity for the field I am in.
In the current climate I cannot afford to lose this job, I am still in my probation period and this is not going to look good for me.
No family nearby who could help, dp has no holiday left now because of the week he took.

I have been made redundant twice this year, childminder knows all of this.

I am so utterly fucked off that she has called another of the parents but basically either forgotten me or just not bothered to call.
She knows full well I would not be able to cover another nearly full week of no childcare, add to that the fact that I have already paid her for the month so she has had two weeks full whack and two weeks holiday pay, this should have been almost 3 weeks holiday pay of that was her plan.

I know I am ranting but I am so cross, have bee thinking about this all morning and don't really know best course of action.
I don't want to sack her as there really is no spaces in this area at the moment and dd loves it there.
But, this has really really screwed me. Am uset that she thinks it's ok to treat me/us like this as well.
Bfore she left she was hugging me on the doorstep and thanking me for holding back her money so that she wouldn't spend it before the holiday. (she asked me too, she is crap with money)

I appreciate this is a holiday of a lifetime for her and her family, (they are in disney florida) but I cannot believe how she has behaved.

What would you do in my situation? I really need to calm down, am so cross.

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Original poster

itsmeolord · 09/11/2009 12:54

Apologies, clearly I am so cross that I have lost the ability to spell and type correctly.

OP posts:

IrritatedMe · 09/11/2009 12:55

You need to look for another childminder. Most are lovely so that won't be a problem.

Most are reliable so have one up on your feckless CM. She is an idiot. You poor poor thing.

Poledra · 09/11/2009 12:56

Can't help, as I am on your behalf. My CM would never dream of doing anything as thoughtless and unreliable as this. I'd be looking elsewhere, I think

saadia · 09/11/2009 12:57

You do need reliable childcare - emergencies can come up for anyone - but she doesn't sound reliable or professional. Would after-school club be an option?

LoveMyGirls · 09/11/2009 12:57

Surely there is a bit about holiday in the contract so if she has broken it then you are free to put your child with another childminder without notice? I know my contracts state that I must give written notice 2 weeks before holiday.

I'm not suprised you are furious!

IrritatedMe · 09/11/2009 12:58

Just re-read that.

Didn't realise there were no spaces in the area. You need to sit her down and tell her that reliability is top of your priorities and that if she can fulfil that requirement you need to know NOW.

See what she says.

Fabster · 09/11/2009 13:00

You can get a temporary nanny who will come in immediately.

You have to sack your CM. She has treated you like crap and she will do so again.

Don't be held over a barrel by someone who is treating you like an inconvenience.

Original poster

itsmeolord · 09/11/2009 13:04

Yep, I suppose I am going to have to terminate. I really don't want to because she really is very good with and for the children but also, the last childminder I had before dd I had to give notice to and complain to ofsted about. She was truly awful and is no longer registered. It was horrid because I hadn't know about a lot of things that had gone on and I really felt I'd failed dd.

I could do the temporary nanny thing but funds are tight after the unpaid week and I only got my first wage packet in 4 months 3 weeks ago....

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/11/2009 13:05

not suprised you are

your cm has let you down and makes you look unprofessional in your new job

ring a nanny agency and get a temp nanny

where are you? maybe someone on here can help?

you say there are no other spaces, but sounds to me that your cm is useless and sure the same thing will happen again - so you do need to look at alturnative childcare options

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 09/11/2009 13:06

I don't blame you for being furious.

You need a new CM. Maybe explain to your new boss, how this will be sorted, how much you love your job, know it is inconvienient etc ASAP?

notnowbernard · 09/11/2009 13:07

I remember your last thread

You need to GET RID, surely?

StealthPolarBear · 09/11/2009 13:08

as this is an emergency, can you ask any mums at school to have your DD for the days that week, and you'll reciprocate when you're a bit more back on your feet?
Or any clubs / after school care / friends who could help?

thedollshouse · 09/11/2009 13:09

I agree with iaabn. Go to your boss explain that you are furious that this has happened and inform them that you are seeking a new childminder as a matter of urgency.

Give your childminder notice and negotiate a discount for the remaining time. She has put you in an impossible position and is being extremely unprofessional.

Danthe4th · 09/11/2009 13:21

I would call your local council and ask for a contact for the childminding development officer(different name different councils) I would explain to her what has happened and ask if anyone is newly registering in the area, she may be able to suggest someone and she may also have a word with this childminder.What council are you under someone may have the contact details on here.
That is extremely unprofessional and gives childminders like me a bad name.

nannyl · 09/11/2009 13:24

OMG

your CM has gone to Disney world and not even told you when she was going to be back

no wonder you are cross!

surely the flights have been booked for ages and ages.

not sure what to suggest but you have every right to be very very cross. How unproffesional

(if you are near hampshire i am around this week and could help you out)

Fabster · 09/11/2009 13:29

I feel if you let her get away with this, things will only get worse.

AboardtheAxiom · 09/11/2009 13:30

That is terrible! I used to cm and wouldn't dream of doing this, as nannyl states, she is hardly up the road planning ad-hoc - her flights must have been booked in advance.

Dantthe4th's idea is a good one, if you call your local family inforation service ask for the number also for the childminding network in your area. Eash network usually has a vacancy co-ordinator, as well as that most offer a mentoring service to cms who are registering. Good luck in finding a new CM, hoep you get something sorted.

Fabster · 09/11/2009 13:42

I would consider reporting her to OFSTED too, assuming she is registered.

4kidsandlovingit · 09/11/2009 13:51

I am a CM and am totally shocked by what your CM has done. I have it in my contract that both I and parents give 4 weeks notice of holiday but allowa bit of flexability with the odd day at short notice.
As has been posted she knew well in advance when she would be going and coming back.
As for what you have already paid her, check your contract, she has certainly made herself unavailable to care for your child for this week (not holiday) so in effect could be in breach of her own contract.
I wouldnt pay her anything for this week at least if I were you. Apart from holidays if she is not available she should not be paid. IMO. Get ourself another childminder whos to say that she won`t do this to you again whether you speak to her or not.

atworknotworking · 09/11/2009 13:59

Get a list from FIS at your local council, even if the minders show no vacancies call anyway, IME the lists are always so wrong its a joke. Have you had a look a bit further afield perhaps minders near where you or DH work, I pick up mindees from schools that arn't that local and have clients that travel a good 30-40mins to get to us.

I feel very for you btw, it's no way to treat someone and I can't figure out why she would contact some parents and not you, I hope she's sat next to MickyMouse feeling crappy for landing you in it.

Also ask around at the school most parents know who the CM's are and you can grab a couple

atworknotworking · 09/11/2009 14:03

Good point 4Kids if she made herself unavailable then she may well be in breach, extremely unprofessional in any event and I would imagine that if you did terminate without paying or giving notice she would be advised not to persue it anyway in view of her shoddy behaviour.

pleasechange · 09/11/2009 14:22

That's awful - feel for you as that all must be so stressful when you have a new job as well

Have you considered a nursery?

AtheneNoctua · 09/11/2009 14:30

I wouldn't go back to that childminder, and I wouldn't give her a penny that I wasn't contractually obligated to give her. (i.e. if she didn't give you the contractual notice she could forget the contractual pay)

edam · 09/11/2009 14:38

What a cow!

Original poster

itsmeolord · 09/11/2009 14:39

DD is too old for a nursery, she is 9.

I have called the council and they are emailing me the current list. Childminders are like gold dust here though.

We did try the school breakfast and after school club but they are only 8am until 6pm.
I need more like 7.45 til 6.30pm. I often work much later than this but dp is home by 6.30pm latest.
I am the main income.

I was hoping that I could hang on and put up with it as dd will not need a minder in 18 months or so when she starts secondary school but I think I'm going to have to find an alternative now. This is pretty much the last straw.

Many thanks for your help. At least I am a little calmer now.....

OP posts:

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