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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable? Au Pair wants to be paid for babysitting on a Saturday

47 replies

SettlingBackIn · 15/10/2009 10:09

Our latest au pair, a young swedish man, has said that because Saturday and Sunday are his days off we should pay him to babysit on a Saturday night even if he hasn't done any other babysitting that week.
Of the other 6 au pairs I have had since DD was born (10 years ago) none has ever suggested this.
We do not go out very often but when we do it is quite likely to be on a Saturday.
During the week in term time he does not have anything like 25 hours work to do but I have always been OK with this because it is balanced out by the school holidays when there is obviously more childcare to be done.
Au pair-family relationships always work best with a bit of give and take and I approach my own job in that way too.
I've always felt that our au pairs have quite a cushy number as I only work 3 days a week and the children have always been at school or childcare when I was working (apart from school holidays of course).
What do other people think? Does anyone pay their au pair for babysitting on their 'day off'?

OP posts:

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crumpet · 15/10/2009 13:43

YABU if you have previously said that Saturday and Sunday are days off, without making it clear that occasionally he would be required to babysit on those nights.

The fact that you got lucky with your other APs not making it an issue isn't relevant.

StillSquiffy · 15/10/2009 13:45

southeastastra they normally get around £70-80 for 25 hrs plus full board plus use of a car (with insurance paid) or Oyster. And most parents help out wiht stuff like gym membership etc too. And in return they are asked to help with the ironing, take the kids to school, give them breakfast and maybe play a little with them.

Given that minimum wage for the usual age range for these hours would be between £88 and £119 before living expenses, I fail to see how this is a hardship for teenagers, for whom the only other realistic option is living at their parent's and working for McDonalds.

DadInsteadofMum · 15/10/2009 14:25

Go squiffy.

Plus some petrol, plus credit on mobile, plus use of home phone.

DadInsteadofMum · 15/10/2009 14:27

To those who haven't seen the threads on employment status please note that this also means they are entitled to 28 days paid holday per year (pro-rated for shorter contracts).

Original poster

SettlingBackIn · 15/10/2009 14:51

Interesting what you say about the holiday. We have been told very definitely by agencies that they get no paid holiday in the first 6 months and after that are entitled to 2 weeks paid.
This guy will be here next week when we are away and he will be paid and have money for food - in return he has to keep the house clean and feed our cats twice a day! We gave him the choice of staying here and being paid or going home and not being paid - he opted to stay here.

OP posts:

argento · 15/10/2009 15:10

Au Pair agencies don't seem to know what they're talking about when it comes to employment law, do they! I wonder if there is any come back for parents if agencies have given them bad advice - especially if it causes them legal problems with their au pair?

Bubbaluv · 15/10/2009 15:14

I would always pay for any weekend babysitting. Only seems fair to me.
Sorry if your Swedish Aupair has spoken to my Swedish Aupair!

StillSquiffy · 15/10/2009 15:22

Your agencies are out of date. You have to give them paid holiday, same as any normal employee, 28 days - although in theory this could be pro-rated if you were to argue that they are effectively part-time. I have a (recent) MSc in Employment Law and spent quite a while looking into this a few months back.

Saying that, my current (Swedish!) au pair has been absolutely delighted with this - to the point that he keeps doing 'extra' hours when he comes back from days off in order to 'make up the time' (even when I tell him not to). God I will miss this one when he returns home at Christmas...

BradfordMum · 15/10/2009 15:48

Surely if his days off are Sat and Sun, he should NOT have to sit for you unless you pay him.
If he went away or home every weekend, and you wanted to go out, you would have to pay someone else to sit.
Therefor pay up!

Original poster

SettlingBackIn · 15/10/2009 17:13

Squiffy, by 28 days do you mean 4 weeks? He only really works 3 days a week, as do I. I get my leave allowance and bank holidays pro-rata at 3/5 the standard amount.
My agency say it is 3 weeks leave which is given pro-rata for the no. months they work.

OP posts:

argento · 15/10/2009 17:48

UK employees get 5.6weeks holiday, this can include bank holidays. If he works three days a week he gets 17 days paid holiday.

forehead · 15/10/2009 18:25

Pay him fgs.My sister also works three days a week and always pays her AP if she babysits
at the weekend.Stop taking advantage of your AAP.

onemoretimetoday · 15/10/2009 18:34

Perfectly normal IMO for Au-pairs to babysit Saturday nights, all the au-pairs I know have Sat night as a babysitting night and we have made it clear from the word go that babysitting was up to 3 nights a week and that would usually include a saturday and it has never been a problem. Of course, if they want to go away for the weekend and ask not to babysit a particular saturday night then we'll always come to an agreement.

FABIsInTraining · 15/10/2009 18:47

The point is the OP hasn't specified this.

If the contract is agreed that a Saturday night is part of the baby sitting deal, fine, but to not mention it means it is fair to pair for that.

Contracts are there for a reason and if you don't have one you are a fool to yourself tbh.

catepilarr · 15/10/2009 21:05

its not his fault you havent got enough to keep him going for 25 hours a week. day off should mean a day off and not coming home in the middle of it to babysit. the fact that the ap does not have a plan for the day to go away or something does not make any difference. yes surely the relationship is give and take but this is not a situation to apply it in imho. good of him to say what he expects.

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/10/2009 15:50

as others have stated if you had a contract then this wouldnt have happened

personally i think if ap/nannys etc babysit at weekends or their days off they should be paid

he may not be going out - just as sometimes dh and i stay in on a saturday, but doesnt mean that he is at your beck and call to babysit

it is not the boys fault that you dont make him work 25hrs a week

sort out a contract with hours/duties and if you want to include one weekend bs in it that thats up to you

eastmidlandsnightnanny · 16/10/2009 16:13

maybe suggest to him that one nights babysitting on a weekend is equivalent to 2 nights babysitting in the week rather than being paid for it and that he is given 2wks notice if going to be a weekend night and equally to pop on the calendar any dates he def cant do.

esp as you dont seem to be going out very much during the weekday eveninsg

BlueGreen · 16/10/2009 23:54

If you dont use him on weekdays that is your problem not his. Hes off days are weekends so if you need him then I think you should pay. And I dont think asking his rights is cheeky to be honest!

I feel sorry for those guys who are here to learn the language but taken advantage by the lovely!, fair! parents.

frakula · 17/10/2009 15:34

I see his point - if you ask him to babysit on a weekend he can't go away for the weekend. How much notice do you give for babysitting? Having to babysit on Saturday nights is not that physically strenuous but it does mea you don't get a total mental break. Plus if he wants to go out one night he has to go Friday after work if he wants a lie in the next morning and he'll know he has to babysit the next night.

Employment law applies to EU nationals as they have the same rights as British nationals.

Your priority is to get your contract sorted ASAP which should include:

Normal working hours and pay, including babysitting with notice if necessary and overtime rates
Holiday (5.6 weeks pro-rated if necessary, but only if working fewer than 5 full days per week and can be 'earned' so each month he gains x days of holiday to be taken)
Notice period
Disciplinary procedure

helpful contract writing link

BubbaAndBump · 17/10/2009 15:59

I was an au-pair myself (many, many, many moons ago) and I did the occasional Saturday babysitting. But the family also got in other babysitters sometimes, rather than burden me with another Saturday. We had no formal contract, but we did discuss the likelihood of doing a weekend babysitting thing every now and then when I started.

He is being a little bit cheeky, but it might be worth you saying one Sat. a month is within his contractable work, any more and you'll give him an extra £20 (or some such amount) - (less than you'd pay someone else, and you wouldn't have to clock watch as he'll (hopefully!!) stay at home anyway?

Totallyfloaty35 · 17/10/2009 18:09

Aupairs are not just here to learn the language,if that was the case they would be on a proper language course which costs about £100per wk and having to rent a room which with food is approx £95pw.My aupairs have been friends with several students on full language courses and they say it costs them a fortune and a lot of them would have preferred the aupair scheme.
Lots of people work Saturdays and have a different day off in the week.Why not get him to work Saturdays and have Sunday andMonday off instead.

Julesnobrain · 17/10/2009 20:05

Our AP's baby sit twice a week and one night once a month may be a Saturday. We pay extra above that. I think the problem here is that when you expect a bit of give and take it leaves room for ambiguity. You don't need a very formal legal worded document for a contact but it is better to have T's and C's written down and agreed in advance. These should be your obligations ie how much you are going to pay, on what day, what holiday you will pay and when, what they get as well, eg room, broadband etc and their obligations, hours worked, type of work (schedule), notice period both sides, what consitutes gross misconduct (no notice) eg stealing, hitting children, (mine includes smoking !!)

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