How long before you know your AP is a good 'un?

[Metrobaby]

I guess I am asking as what is the reasonable length of time you would give for your AP to settle in??

I have a new AP - she has only been here for a week but I am getting the impression she is very homesick plus a bit reluctant to do her household chores (eg I have asked her twice now to ensure the childrens uniforms are ironed and they are not done which means I now have to do it in time for tomorrow ). I am also trying to figure out whether she does not understand - even though she says she does undestand...

Well am v pleased to report that Thurs and Fri have been much much better. I think our talk has done lots of good as she has improved significantly.

I think my AP is so shy and nervous to the extent she was staying at home all the time, and plus v homesick it was effecting her and her general well being. However this weekend she has been much happier after going out with another local AP and going to London with another friend from her own country.

Have given her lots of encouragement to go out and pointed out that I would rather she try and even get things wrong than not do do anything at all. I think this has given her a lot more reassurance. So fingers crossed things will go better. Am going to see how next week goes.

DTP - am totally shocked about your AP smoking - especially if she stated on her form she didn't smoke. One agency I used even used to send declaration forms by their AP's promising that they would not smoke around the children or in the home. I would be v v angry about an AP lying about the fact they smoke and esp around my home. Does your AP manual state that there is a no smoking policy?

Hope things are also improving for your AP too DTG and Floaty.

I think this is what is bothering me. Most people say from a few days they knew they had a fab AP. I certaintly knew as well with my first AP too - who was fab. With my current one, first signs weren't great but am wondering now whether she'll improve from now on.

Just discovered new aupair smokes too,am very cross,but she is going home tomorrow. Says she is allergic to cats(she knew we had a cat) im so annoyed.

Metrobaby - feel v sorry for you . You seem to have done everthing very throughly re recruitment. I have in my contract instant dismissal for smoking and like you I emphasise this is a no smoking household. On that basis I would get rid asap as she seems deceitful and re the cat .. well she's just been plain stupid (asumming she did know she was allergic).
Dreamteamgirl. You are far more patient than me. If my AP did that I would pull the phone out of her hand (whilst talking),switch off the computer and point to the schedule and tell her there and then its working hours. I would then take the first opportunity after the kids are in bed to tell her exactly how her behaviour is unacceptable and give her the choice to pull her socks up or tell her you will be informing the agency she is not fulfilling her contractual obligations and that she is to be replaced.
I don't know about other families but it is a big sacrifice for us to have an AP both financially but also privacy wise. If they don't do their job reasonably then there is no point in having them in our home so now the more Ap's I have the less tolerent I am.

Jules - I think it was DreamTeaGirl's au pair that was a smoker - and stated that she wasn't - not my AP. However completely agree with you that I could not tolerate a smoker at all.