Did you keep your nanny throughout maternity leave with DC2

[Gangle]

We have a nanny share for DS, 17 months, and I am 8 weeks pregnant with DC2. Trying to work out what we will do when I go on maternity leave. Do most people keep their nannies on over this time to avoid having to find someone new? Our requirements will obviously be different in that we would have 2 children so would have to pay 2/3 of the cost rather than 1/2 as we currently do. Not sure it's worth the cost of keeping someone on for 6 or 9 months when you don't really need them (or if we can even afford this!).

Am speaking from a nannies POV, i was kept onwhen my boss was on maternity leave.

i worked 20 hours per week before baby arrived, so was only after school anyway.

I basically just did everything i would normally do. pick up kids ferry them to and from activities homework donner bath bed etc etc.

this allowed Mum to rest and/or take care of new baby.

although sometimes she left baby with me whilst she took one or both of the eldest out for an hour or so to spend some one on one time with them.

this worked really well, she was pleased to have someone else around and i was pleased to have a job!

she has now ggone back to work p.t and my hours have doubled as i have sole charge of baby all day and eldest 2 in evenings. but will go up again in jan when she goes back F.T

obviously if you cant afford her or cant justify the cost then thats fine, but if you think you could do with some extra helo just to make life a bit easier then i'd say keep her on.

Good luckin whatever you decie!!

I've just seen a question addressed to me here from Cheryl.

Of course I wouldn't expect a nanny I didn't retain during a maternity leave not to get another job and move on from us. I can now see from the language of my message how this could have been misunderstood.

gangle - think very hard about the how the share would work after you return from maternity leave, with the increase no of children and whether it would get more complex. If the other family have another baby - four kids that close in age is too much for one person.

How would you feel if you kept her on during this time and she resigned right before you went back to work? If you can answer that question - yes, it would still be worth it for me given the benefits, then it sounds like it's a good idea for you.

i think if you can afford it then keep the nanny on

if its a tight squeeze finanically think long and hard - esp if you are going back to work 3mths later

if you really cant afford it(as some cant) then you have to consider that if you nanny is good - will you be able to replace her if the nanny finds another job rather than temps for your ml

so more stress to find a new nanny/added agency fess

I think you should consider how you would feel if your employer asked of you whatever you decide to ask of your nanny.

So if she will be doing the same hours but for one child instead of two for approx 62.5% of her salary consder if your boss said

"I can't afford you for 6-9 months so if you want to keep your job you can take a 37.5% pay cut. There mght be a bit less work but you will need to be here the same hours as usual"

I think I know what most people's reaction would be to that. But I can tell you that I would be offended and competely unable to afford it.

Harriet, that's my main concern. The share doesn't work if the other family have another child (they are currently trying) plus the nanny or they could pull out at any time, especially as we are both talking about sending the older ones to nursery in the next year. We would probably still keep her on if they pulled out but it's something to factor in. Another thing is that DH is possibly going on secondment to the US next year so it's likely we won't be here for anything up to 5 or 6 months so we'll be paying for something we are not using. Obviously if we are here and using her then I would expect to pay our full share. Providentielle, if my employer had no means to pay me but wanted to find a way of keeping me on, and the other option was that my contract was going to be terminated on 1 week's notice, I think I would consider it. I may reject it but I don't think it's offensive to ask someone.

Gangle your nanny earns a very good salary if she gets the same from both families so total £2,800 per month if thats gross she is on a good salary and if net then very very very good salary!!!

I would offer the 25% reduction and see what she says and then its her choice what she wants to do.

Not sure what area you are in but she would find it difficult to find another nanny job that pays so well, so she may agree to stay on that basis as nanny jobs are few and far between at the moment

sorry i must have misread - i took salary to be £1400 in total so £700per family

but from op post thats YOUR share of it

tbh you could prob find a nanny for that on your own

Her gross salary is about £1,400 per family per month. The net amount each family pays her is £840 so she gets £1,660 per month net which equates to £500 per week which is market rate for a full time nanny in London, possibly even on the cheap side for a nanny share. Would expect to pay the same if we rehired.

Ok, so now 36 weeks pregnant and trying to decide what to do with our nanny share is keeping me awake at night - well, that and the huge bump! There have been a few more developments - the family we share with are having another baby at the end of July. They are very keen to keep the share in place for the younger two babies who will be 4 months apart in age. The older two will probably go to nursery in Jan. However, DH has a job in the US starting in June. Lots of issues there and debate about whether or not I will go but probably thinking that I will take 9 months maternity leave then a month's holiday and spent 3 or 4 months in the US with DH, probably Sept to Dec this year. Whilst I do want to keep the share on, I find it hard to pay £1,400 per month for the 4 months we are not here. What does everyone think? Just pay to keep her, even though we are not sure of our requirements when we come back in Jan 2011?

Tough one Gangle. I'd talk to her about a temporary job tbh. I'm now 30 weeks myself and have just realised that you asked me a question back in october which I did not answer!

the answer is that i am going to have 6 months off and my nanny is going to stay throughout. In the first month (while I am still pregnant) I am going to spend the free time I have having naps! After that, catch up sleeps, 1 to 1 time with each child etc. I am VERY lucky in that DH can afford to cover the cost.

If you can't really afford it, then speak to her and be honest. If you're not even in the country, paying for extra months seems very odd. You could offer her some of the money and tell her that she is free to do ad hoc care on the days she is usually with you?

No, I'd give her the chance of going down to a couple of days a week (which would be so useful) otherwise making her redundant. A lot of part time nanny jobs are 3 days anyway so she may want to keep the extra days with you. It sad, but you wouldn't want someone under your feet all the time.

LittleOneMum, today was my last day at work before mat leave and that is exactly how I plan to spend next week - sleeping! So tired, really need to catch up before the baby comes. We can afford to cover the cost - easily for 6 months, 9 is more of a stretch but doable but it's more the concept of paying for her when we are not here. However, I know we cannot expect her to not take another job during that time unless we continue to pay her. Not sure how enforceable any of this will be anyway, for example, we continue to pay her for 3 days per week whilst we are away but then in Jan she turns around and gets another job - there wouldn't be a huge amount we could do. Wouldn't be like her to do that though. Also have to bear in mind the commission we would pay to an agency to find another nanny. Think I will talk to her about it next week and see what she says - just wanted to check the whole idea wasn't bonkers!

A share with that many children sounds quite complicated. I think you really need to try to take some advice from nannies and/or parents who have had that many children in a share who are all that young to see how it worked out from a practical standpoint.

I personally wouldn't pay for months of childcare I wasn't going to use unless it was clear that I would be coming back to an arrangement I was really sure was going to work.

Harriet, I will talk to the other family about it but we had discussed sending the older two toddlers to nursery and using the nanny as a share for the two babies. I would only want to send DS1 to nursery 3 days max (think he would really benefit from nursery) so we would probably look to get our own nanny for the remaining two days to look after both. Do you think that sounds too complicated? I would try to agree it all now with them but it's a bit tricky as things could change they could pull out, so could we . . .

I would just make her redundant TBH. It frees you up to decide whether you want to go to the US or not, what you do with DS (nursery/preschoool/whatever) and not have to deal with the logistics of a nannyshare. How long is your DH's job for? Are you likely to want to go over for longer than just 3 months?

If you can afford £1,400 a month for a nanny plus nursery fairly easily then you'll be able to get a new one.

From a nanny POV I found children 6 months apart so difficult to look after - they're constantly at just the wrong stage for each other (one is starting to crawl, the other to walk etc)! I only did it for a few weeks as a favour to MB's friend but I really wouldn't repeat it out of choice. That's quite apart from the nanny share issues - at least twins are used to being together, likewise siblings very close in age, but 2 babies in a nanny share is difficult at the best of times even when they're a couple of months apart in age.

This is turning into a "dealing with the other family" issue, not the nanny, I think. If you are sure that you will be spending Sept-Dec in the US, then you should just plan that your half of the nanny-share will stop in Sept. The other family can either find someone else to share with, or keep the nanny to themselves.

I think that once they have had the nanny all to themselves, on a nice subsidised basis yet, for that chunk of time, readapting to the share will be problematic. Of course, you can look at it again when you get back but effectively it is not the nanny you are supporting here but the other family.

I think everyone would be happier if you ended now, rather than Nanny getting attached to your baby and then you guys leaving for a few months and possibly longer. You probably aren't entirely sure what will happen with the US thing, I've heard many tales of families thinking they're going for X time (either coming/going) and staying much, much longer.

I agree with frak.

Thanks all - this is really helpful although I had been thinking along different lines all weekend, typically! Yes, the whole US thing is up in the air (my relationship with DH is a big factor although that's a different story) so really not sure how long I would go for and just feels wrong to terminate the arrangement completely when I know that I am coming back in 3 or 4 months max. I would need to start from scratch, find someone new and probably pay agency fees as well which would amount to more than the 3k it will cost to pay her over that period. I mentioned to our nanny this am that this is what I was possibly thinking and how did she feel about it and she said she would have a think but said she didn't think it'd be a problem and that she would be happy to be on a reduced salary for 3 or 4 months, so I least I know it's an option as far as she is concerned. I made it clear that I could only pay for part time (2.5 or 3 days a week) from Aug and that I completely expected her to get another permanent job for the other two days but she said this would be more hassle than it's worth and would be ok on the reduced salary for 3 months or so. Very very much doubt I would extend my stay in the US so would be back in Jan needing a full time nanny/nanny share plus nursery arrangements.

Thanks all. Still pondering this one and now thinking that I agree with all of you that is frees me up if the share ends in July/August rather than continues as we just don't know our plans for next year yet although there seems to be a good chance that we will need our own nanny for most of the working week. Also, DS2 is now 3 weeks old - finding it really really tough copying with a toddler and newborn as our nanny has been on holiday for the last 2 weeks. Still annoyed that she chose to take those 2 weeks as holiday and wondering how much flexibility she will have in future (she booked these dates at the last minute and was unable to change them.) I also think having the other toddler in the share at our house 3 days a week in going to drive me mad, especially as the nanny seems to favour him and that family over ours.