positive nannyshare stories?

[mrsbaldwin]

I should post this on the nannyshare thread really, but it's not v busy so thought I would stick it here instead.

I'm just having a look at the option to nannyshare. I've read up on how to organise the contracts, how good communication between the two sets of parents is crucial, likely pitfalls etc. So that's the theory ...

... but I don't really know anyone who actually does it! I've got pals with sole charge nannies, nannies who bring their own child to work, CMs and nursery ... but only once have I ever come across a real nannyshare.

Does anyone have any positive tales of nannyshare success to encourage me in my mission - or is it people's experience that it often doesn't work out very well.

Thanks for your help!

What do you mean by nannyshare? Do you mean a real share - ie. 2 sets of parents and 1 nanny?

I do that and have had no problems at all with it! Mums are friends and babies are same age (were 10 months when I started).

Yes, two sets of parents, one nanny, any combo of days shared.

Thanks Navyeyelash

I did this years ago.

Was really good in some ways and awful in others. Have posted somewhere already.

Thanks BakerGirl - I did a search or two before I posted but couldn't seem to find anything. Could have just been me putting in the wrong terms.

Try TripleTroubleMuffin on that topic.

mrsb - what are your worries? Do you have families in mind already?

We did this and it was good. I worked FT and my nannyshare mum worked 3 days. Both children were cared for at our house. We split the costs in a fairly relaxed way, and the boys formed an incredibly strong bond which still lasts, even though we've both moved away and the share only lasted a year.

Holidays were complicated, and our share broke up naturally when everyone had a baby (including the nanny). Apart from that I'd recommend it - as a newbie nanny employer it was great to have someone else to share notes with.

Why do I ask?

Well, I'm trying to weigh up the pros and cons of nannyshare vs nursery (I haven't seen a CM I've particularly clicked with).

And I'm trying to be a bit rational about it, if such a thing is possible.

I don't really want to get into that 'nurserys are the work of the devil' debate here, if I can avoid it - I feel I've considered all the arguments on that score already.

Suffice to summarise that a nannyshare gives a better carer/child ratio if there are two children in the equation.

But there are a couple of advantages to using a nanny that are not to do with child welfare - flexibility, the fact that you don't have to struggle out of the house in the morning to do the nursery drop-off, and that when the child is ill he can still be cared for (nursery sends 'em home, of course).

I wondered if a nannyshare could really offer all those advantages, however. Let's say for the sake of argument you do half the time at one parents house and half the time at another - means you still have to struggle out of the door on 50% of mornings (although this is better than 100% of mornings of course). And what happens if one child is ill - do they have to stay home/not use the nannyshare that day?

And in these credit crunchy times there's always the chance your nannyshare partner will be crunched. I signed up one of those nannyshare websites this week, started corresponding with a likely sharer - suddenly, in the course of our correspondence she's made redundant (poor thing!). If this happened once a nannyshare was up and running it wouldn't be a very good scenario

I could probably live with the potential hassle of organising and running a nannyshare if I thought some of the other advantages re flexibility, illness etc were covered.

That's why I ask for positive stories!

Positive stories are good but what you really need are the stories where things haven't been great so you can think of those issues before you get started.

Well in a way I feel like I've thought of loads of things that could go wrong - that's why I'm asking for positive stories.

In the end I suppose I'm asking: nannyshares - are they more hassle than they're worth?

I have done a couple of nannyshares and on the whole they worked really well

As long as everything is worked out up front it should be ok
The first one i did was 2 days in the one house and 1 day in the other house + 1 day with only 1 child
Holidays the families either took at the same time or i would work for one family but i still had my 4 weeks + bank holidays off

when the children were ill with chicken pox i still looked after them all and it was fine

the second share worked fairly well but because the families were also friends not all the details were worked out so sometimes it was hit and miss but generally ok

both shares i always tried to give plenty of notice of when i wanted holiday and worked round when they had their holiday to make it easier

Thanks Gizzy this is helpful to know.

I shared a nanny a few years ago, first with one family and then with another. It wasn't perfect - pinch points were - nanny holidays (she forgot to tell the other family that she was off for a weekend and thought that since I knew it would be ok - big big problem with that which resulted in a nanny holiday spreadsheet which both families had to have copies of.
Other family booking a class for their dd without discussing with us so nanny took both children to the class and my dd had to hang out in a corridor for an hour (if they had told me I would have booked my dd onto the class as well)
When family 1 left the share (because of the nanny holiday mess but also because nanny was not feeling that their dc was settling well with her) despite having an agreement that they would need to give us 2 months notice they only paid 3 weeks and we had to pay Nanny her full salary for a couple of months til we found someone else. (Likewise when we left family 2 - we moved out of the area - they had to pay Nannys full salary or find another share family (we did give them plenty of notice but they hadn't found another family by the time we left)
As for hassle in the morning - we always had the dc at our house but my working day was short so that nanny could take the share children back to their house before their parents got home - worked ok but we had a lot of 'wear and tear' on our house.
And you really have to chat about parenting styles - I was 'interviewed' by a family who wanted to share their nanny and their idea of perfect was for nanny to keep the dc out of their house all morning, pop home to make sandwiches and take them to the park all afternoon - their house was immaculate - couldn't tell they had a child! The idea of my 4 yr old getting home from reception class and chilling out with a dvd was abhorent to them - hee hee.

Millarkie - the one nannyshare I've ever come across in RL also mentioned the double wear and tear. It was someone's DH I once sat next to in an office. He said something along the lines of: "...and half the time they're at the share's house which is great because they get to make a load of bloody mess at the other house, not at ours"

This is all a lot of food for thought.

At least with a nanny share, you don't have to get the children up, cleaned, dressed and fed before dropping them off.

I did a nanny share for 3 and a half years, it worked very well, although back then I wasn't very good at taking my holidays so it made it easier for the families to take holidays (in my reference from one family it says they had to make me take holiday!)

I did a week in each house, the children from the other family would come in the pj's, I would get them all washed dressed and breakfasted together, was good for the children to see the others behaving and being praised when they weren't being very co-operative!!

I would also bath them all together at the end of them day and back in pj's (there were 4 under 4 at the end) so parents could spend an hour playing with their children when they had picked them up.

Also, the families would leave a change of clothes/bottles/pj's/nappies etc at the other families house and replace when needed. The families houses where only a couple of streets away so if anything was forgotten, I could pop in on our way out/home to pick up anything we needed.

Was also fantastic when the families expanded as when MB's were on maternity leave we just stayed at the other families house for the duration, pregnant MB got rest and we got peace! There was a 3 week overlap in maturnity leave but was in the summer so we were out ALOT!

The only downside was communication, one family would either talk to me about changes or the other family, I think we should have all sat down together to discuss any changes, all of the changes involved all of us so should have been agreed with all of us. She would ask the person she thought would agree easily!!!!

Also, she wouldn't turn up to pick up her children if it wasn't convenient, i.e. I had to have some dental work done, I tried to book it so it didn't affect them but there were two occasions when I had to go during work time, I phoned and told her and also wrote in the book that was in her child's nanny bag for notes back and forward that I had an appointment and could she arrange for someone to collect him for about an hour and I would pick him up after the appointment but she just didn't turn up or answer her phone (was in a meeting apparently) so other family mum had to look after her child, with no apology or thanks, which I thought was very rude and made things strained for a while.

nappy bag, even!!

Thanks Callaird - again, this is helpful!