Nanny issue - spending too much time on her own errands

[Feelingoptimistic]

I don't really want to give too much detail in case my nanny reads MN.

Basically, have only had her for a short while. DC seems very happy, and she is punctual, everything seems fine BUT she has been a little less than honest with me about what she does during the day, and on a couple of occassions took DD back to her place during the day, and I suspect she must have had some personal errands.

I almost feel like I should spy on her or something... What would you do?

Our old nanny did this. My dc were really tiny so couldn't tell me where they had been and it became clear that she was taking them round to her mate's house (next door to her house) and spending hours with her mate drinking coffee and chatting whilst my dc watched tv. From the word go I told her that I wanted to know where she had been every day and she started to lie very quickly to me. Lots of things didn't add up and when I found out she had been lying I confronted her. She resigned on the spot. Thank god. The whole thing was horrific.

My insurance is valid anywhere as long as it's ok with my employer that I'm there IYSWIM. Agree it wpuld make life complicated otherwise. It is a general point though. I wonder whether an insurer would uphold a claim for an incident which occurred when nanny and child were somewhere the parent wasn't happy with. The nanny would have been working outside agreed boundaries which is pretty negligent in my view. That's always assuming the boundaries have been clearly stated...

I understand about stating boundaries. I was working with the assumption things hadn't got to the stage you were just trying to salvage her employment.

Coming across as too strict or reactive (you went to your house; now i want you to fill in daily diary) or preemptively over firm (I want to know where you are going to be all day), can start to damage a relationship and could exacerbate deception(maybe illustrated by SusieDerkins). This could make you less informed about your child in general and also about suitablity of nanny for your family.

I must admit, I have run little errands during my work day occasionally - like going into town to have some passport photos taken - but it is pretty occasional, not every day/week. I would also not dream of taking my charges to my house or having non-nanny friends round to work!

It's interesting that you mentioned the punctual thing in the first breath. This weirdly became one of the key reasons we kept our first nanny as long as we did. She was reliable in the sense of never being late, missing days, etc. So in that sense we didn't have any disruption. DH became convinced that we couldn't replicate that in anyone else!

I guess my point is don't do the same. (I'm assuming you don't live in E London and it's not our former nanny...)

hi feelingoptimistic, i recently sacked a nanny about this sort of issue (and many others). we couldn't have been clearer in the interiew about how we expected her to spend her days, and she seemed happy with that ie mornings doing baby activities wth 1 yr old, after lunch activities at home with 3 year old back from nursery school and baby asleep, and after school with all 3 children. i was shocked when i discovered that her idea of morning activities for ds2, 1.5, was being taken round the shops in the buggy all morning, when he already has 2 hour long school runs in the buggy. i raised it with her and really she didn't respond. i'd previously had a wonderful nanny who would have considered this very unprofessional. the sacked nanny also wanted to take then dcs to her flat a bus journey away and to hang out wth her friends, of whom i knew nothing and some of whom sounded a bit unsavoury. in the end, it was clear that her expectations and ours of professional nanny behaviour simply did't match up. sorry to be pessimistic but if i was doing it again i would be more honest with myself frm the very first dubious incident thati was't happy and confront it very clearly. i don't think anything is to be gainedby waiting and seeing really. do let us know how it goes. (wonder if this might be the same nanny ...?)

Gosh-scary stories. Dear OP did she have a valid reason for going to her house when you asked her about it? If not I would be very very worried-and yes, I would monitor her (not sure how??nannycam or some such??)

OP I have a blanket rule that it is fine for our nanny to leave our area of London IF she clears it with me first otherwise I expect her and the DCs to stay in our area. I would not be happy with my nanny returning home during the day - much as my boss would not be amused with me doing so.

Well, things have been ok for the last few days, but I am still paranoid !

Thatwasmyfavourite - I really hope I have not employed your nanny !! Anything is possible...

Mrs Fogi - that's an excellent rule. That's what I have kind of said to my nanny, but I think I am trying to be too nice.

Previous nanny may come back from maternity leave in September, so will see what happens.

feeling optimistic, i am in nw5 and ex-nanny lived westwards .... best of luck.

as your nanny lives miles away from where you do,then you are quite within your rights to say no going back there

as i said i do pop back to my houses every now and again, but it is closer to school/nursery than where my mb/work house is

bbut the difference is my mb knows and doesnt mind