Live-in or Live out

[TalkingBiscuit]

Hi,
I am pregnant with number 2 and mum to a 6 year old. I plan on going back to work in February and while that is ages away (and the baby isn't due until July, but I like to be organised.)

I am thinking of going down the nanny route because my husband works shifts and I work 10-6. We are not rich or well-off, but we can afford a nanny for how much afterschool and nursery fees would run, plus we would reduce the hassle of one of us trying to rush to the nursery and school. I work in West London but we live in East London.

My husband isn't keen on a live in, but I don't mind. He or she wouldn't have anything to do really except look after the kids. I don't know what nannies duties are, but there would be no cooking (unless it is for the baby's meals and a snack for my oldest,)no cleaning,(except to tidy up the baby's toys-- my oldest can help tidy after himself) and just picking up the big one from aschool and taking him to scouts on the days my husband is working a late shift. He/she would effectively be off duty the moment one of us comes home from work, unless my husband worked an overnight, and then she'd be off at around 2pm when he wakes up. We may ask on the odd night for her/him to babysit, but we are real homebodies and don't go out much.

Is this fair? We don't live in a chic area, so would we even get a live-in that would want to work for us? Any advice would be well appreciated.

I'd look at how much you're willing to pay, and also whether you're truly comfortable sharting your space with somebody else (both of you that is), it'd be a nice little job by the sounds of things though

I suspect that nursery fees and after school club would be around half the cost of a nanny in London, surely?

I think you need to decide on what the nannies working hours would actually be. I can't work out what the hours of work are from your post... I did think it was 10-6, but then I read things like "taking him to scouts on the days my husband is working a late shift". Thinking back to my days being a Scout, I didn't think it started all that early.

I would suggest that you try to fix the hours (are you wanting 10-6, 9-7, something else?)... then look at if those hours would fit with a live-in or live-out applicant. Also consider if you have the space and could actually share your home with someone 24/7.

If it is your 6 year old you meant by Big One, then I suspect he is a Beaver... Beavers does tend to start earlier.

A nanny could easily cost £20-£25,000 - is that comparable with nursery care + after-school in your area?

The thing is, one of us would have to pick up the kids and on the days my husband is working an overnight or backshift, that means I need to race from West to East London, pick up one from the nursery and one from the Afterschool club. On a Wednesday evening, my son has Beavers, so one of us would need to need to get him there for 5, and there is no way I could leave work early for that. Because I have some health issues related to this pregnancy, I work from home 3 days a week, but my health issues are pregnancy related and won't be an issue once the baby is born.

I am reluctant to put a 8 month old in nursery for a lot of reasons and the rushing around bit.

I do need to think about the hours. He/she basically is covering for one of us until we get home from work and then his/her time is their own. I don't work weekends and my husband and I aren't really wanting someone to take over the child-rearing.

I'm okay with sharing the house with someone as long as they abide by our house rules. We will have the space for them to live. I have a lot of time to think about this, but thanks for the advice.

Given your feelings about having an 8 month old in nursery, plus the hassles of getting children to/from childcare and activities... having a nanny seems like a sensible choice for you.
This thread is titled: Live-in or Live-out
Therefore I am guessing that you want views on if you should be looking for a live-out or live-in nanny.
I would say, look for both, see what candidates you have - your ideal candidate may want to live-in, or may be local and want to go home at the end of the working day.

My husband isn't keen on a live in, but I don't mind.

May be better looking for a live-out nanny. Once you know the hours you need, you can calculate the cost (salary wise) and cost to you as employer (salary plus Employers NICs and expectant day-to-day expenses).

Thank you nannynick. As I said, I have a lot of time to consider it, and it does come down to live in or live out. My husband's reluctance to a live-in isn't so much of the sharing of the house, but more of "I'm-not-of-the-type-that-has-hired-help." He's a bit of a socialist!

TalkingBiscuit - whereabouts in East London do you live? I am a nanny (charging very reasonable rates) living in East London who is looking for a live-out position. Would love to hear from you!

My email is [email protected]

Thanks

I should think you would be able to find someone but would need to consider having fixed hours and paying for those fixed hours whether the nanny is needed or not this could be a perk of the job really and would attract nannies.

Live out for say 30hrs a week which sounds like basically the hrs you may need would cost you anywhere from £200-£300 a week depending on nannies experience, quals and whether you would let bring own child/nanny wanted to bring own child.

Live in well you could pay £250-£350 a week and have upto 50hrs for that with the perk being that you would rarely need that many hrs and therefore you could prob get away with paying lower end of scale.