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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

stalkerish behaviour, should i be worried?

22 replies

leonifay · 27/05/2009 08:05

one of my parents is behaving increasingly weird. its starting to freek me out but should i be worried?

he said he would come over on monday to talk to me about payment, i waited in all day and he didnt turn up so i went out shopping, i got a phone call form parent, asking where i was i told him i just popped out for a couple of hours but i would be back at ox time he said - yes i can see, i'm in x shop too. he was stood behind a bookshelf behind me. anyway, he didnt want to talk in the shop (fair enough) but he wanted to carry on the conversation on the phone rather than come over and talk to me

anyway we decided he would come and see me at 6pm on tuesday instead, i told him it had to be 6 as dh was going out at 7 (i dont really know him so wanted my dh there). he parked up at 5pm and sat in his car for an hour, my dh came home at 5.55pm and he drove off, rang me to say he was running late and would be there about 7pm (the time that my dh was ment to be going out, and he knew that) so i made my dh stay home untill he had left. he looked really put out that dh was here, he siad i thought dh was going out, i told him the plannes had changed and he was going out a diffrnet night, he then wanted to know what night and what time.

is it just me or is this all really odd behaviour? all opinions welcome, i'm a suspishious(sp?) person anyway!

OP posts:

WriggleJiggle · 27/05/2009 08:09

I think you know the answer to this already!

Kayzr · 27/05/2009 08:13

I would be a little worried if I was you. It does seem very strange. The shop might have been a coincedence(sp) but the sitting outside your house for an hour is very wierd.

LilRedWG · 27/05/2009 08:16

You do know the answer to this. I would be concerned.

What does DH say?

WriggleJiggle · 27/05/2009 08:18

So how will you deal with it? It is going to be possible to always have someone with you when he call round?

MadamAnt · 27/05/2009 08:20

Very odd behaviour. I'd be concerned about this.

Original poster

leonifay · 27/05/2009 08:28

he thinks its a litthle odd, but sais it could be a culture diffrence (he's from the congo) i alos like to have dh around because his forst language is french as and dh speaks it alot better than i do!
i dont know how to deal with this! hopefully next week will be the last week i have her, and dh will be around at pick up time.

OP posts:

HecatesTwopenceworth · 27/05/2009 08:58

I would also been concerned and would make sure I was NEVER alone with this man.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 27/05/2009 09:00

Trust your instincts always. I would never be alone with this man and I'd voice my concerns to the police too. He sounds a proper weirdo.

brimfull · 27/05/2009 09:01

yup it's strange behaviour

follow your instinct and avoid being alone with him

TheOtherMaryPoppinsDiets · 27/05/2009 09:06

If they weren't leaving soon I'd maybe be posting and asking if anyone is from Congo and can say if this is just how the culture is. I don't blame you for feeling stalked!

Agree with rest, make sure you aren't on your own with him, if he comes to pick up on his own then answer door with chain on.

LynetteScavo · 27/05/2009 09:10

Definately odd.

As others have said - avoid being alone with him.

I'd be a bit cautious after you've stopped lookiing after his DC too - don't wan't to scare you but I'm not sure this bloke is just going to disapear.

Numberfour · 27/05/2009 09:48

trust your instincts

Original poster

leonifay · 27/05/2009 09:54

i think he's leaving soon, he gave notice to finnish at the end of this week, then asked for next week and yesterday when he spoke to dh he said something about being full time, which i knew nothing about, but dh thought i knew so didnt ask any more.

when/if he asks i'll say no, its all getting too weird for me now!

OP posts:

leo69 · 27/05/2009 09:57

Sounds really weird. In future I wouldn't give him any information...hours that hubby is out, where you are etc.

JenniPenni · 27/05/2009 10:40

Always have hubby with you if you see this man - use the language as an excuse. Sounds odd to me!

PinkChick · 27/05/2009 11:10

if he follows or sits outside again take pics..just to err on side of caution, def scary behaviour! and wouldnt accept any more hours from him/them

JeanPoole · 27/05/2009 11:11

i would trust my insticts and not this man in my house esp if i was alone.

atworknotworking · 27/05/2009 13:46

If he's given notice for the end of the week, just say no if he asks for more days, just say your'e full now or something, really sounds a bit strange, and a bit too much of a coincidence IMO that he's around in the same places as you. Take care

SammyK · 27/05/2009 19:14

how odd

I would note down the things in your OP, with times and dates in case this escalates. Definately don't continue after the notice you have been given, I agree say you have taken someone else on.

Can you check who is at your door before you open it? I also wouldn't mention whether your DH will be home or not, but make sure he is!

x3mum · 27/05/2009 21:14

Sorry to be blunt, but I would be speaking to the police about this. Definitely not normal or acceptable behaviour.

Julesnobrain · 27/05/2009 21:25

Trust your instincts you know the answer already. !! Firstly if you are a CM I would terminate the child care relationship (nicely as he sounds like the type to take offence). Hard I know in these economic times but your safety is more important. I also agree with Sammy K write down dates and times in a notebook or email yourself. You don't have enough to go to the police with, he has not threatened you or made any inappropriate moves and finally ensure you are never alone with him. Good luck, poor you as this can be very scary.

thebody · 27/05/2009 22:58

agree with all the above, but I would just have a word with the local beat bobby so you have all ready laid a trail if needed later, i.e if he continues to annoy or worry you. Terminate at once but be careful about being 'nice'.. be totally poker faced and do not smile, this may encourage him.
He obviously fancies you and you must be on your guard, NEVER let him into the house. hopefully he will take the hint and leave you alone.
Good luck..

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