Our wonderful nanny is pregnant.....but what to offer her? As much an employment issue as a nanny issue

[foxinsocks]

Our wonderful nanny has announced she is pregnant. Naturally, we are delighted for her as I think it's something she's wanted and she'll be a fab parent!

I've told her I would love her to come back afterwards. A baby does not put me off at all and my children would be delighted but I think, quite sensibly, she feels having looked after other people's children for years, she'd quite like to have some time looking after her own child without having to look after others too!

Now that leaves me in a bit of a dilemma. I assume she might not resign and then we would have to pay maternity pay and then she could resign when this had ended?

But if she has no intention of coming back, can she still go on maternity leave?

Thing is, we all know that we can't tell how we are going to feel when we have a baby and I have a sneaking suspicion that she may come back over time.

But obviously, I am going to need to employ someone to do her job and am now wondering at what point to do this because if she does take maternity leave, for those first 6 weeks, I will be paying 90% of her salary plus 100% of a new nanny's salary which will be extremely hard financially (will have to come out of savings).

Of course, I am prepared to pay her, I'm not trying to dodge that, but am wondering whether I should sit down with her and say that if she is sure she isn't going to come back that she should resign and I will give her a lumpsum. But I am worried she will think I'm trying to do her out of maternity pay iyswim.

Any thoughts?

i think flowerly advice is always very helpful

she found an answer and linked the site to my friends problem - whose mb needed to see the info in black and white till they decided to give my friend whatt she was entitled to anyway btw she now gets 17days

anyway i regress

think flowery is just stating that nannies have same employment rights as people in offices etc - just it is harder to replace/find a temp as nannies are such a personal thing

and tbh most mb's/employers on this site dont know the ins and outs on employment law - but who can blame them

fox - no one is accusing you of wanting to rip off your nanny, and you are even wanting her to come back with child - as many employers dont want that

i think many forget nannying is the only career (i think) that the employee can bring their own child to work with them) so that the terms are slightly different from coming back after ml than if in an office job

no flowery, you are backing off because you are wrong here. You accused me of being the type of employer who wanted to deny my employee her entitlements which is totally factually incorrect and downright insulting.

If you can't apologise for making that sweeping statement, then I can't see why I should apologise for my response tbh. I am quite entitled to respond strongly when someone accuses me of wanting to cheat my employees out of what they entitled to, something which I happen to think is a disgraceful accusation and one that you shouldn't bandy about.

Oh my, just for the record, foxinsox is also a lovely and helpful MNer. This went very wrong here.

Fox - I really didn't read it as an accusation aimed at you particularly, just a general point (which I totally agree with btw!).

i must say i have read many posts of flowery and have learnt a lot from her. i think her comment was general -and quite agree with it- but wasnt personal at all. However she spent her time to give free and very good advice and instead of 'thank you' she received verbal abuse .

I have had two nannies go on maternity leave - the only reason any nanny has ever left us! One wanted her pay as a lump sum, the other preferred monthly payments.

If you pay the SMP in a lump sum you get a short term cash flow issue from my experience. I use a payroll agency and they handled all of it. HRMC pay out AFTER you have made the first payment to the nanny, but they do pay a lump sum, and they pay very quickly - I think about a week. So if you pay by installments you are quids in.

Both my nannies were clear they were not coming back - one because I would not let her bring her child with her, and the other because even though I would have been delighted to have her back with baby, she was moving out of London.

But more generally in terms of coming back? As an employer at work, and as a nanny employer, I see no problem asking someone what her current intention is about returning, but I always say in the same breath, and before she has replied, that I understand her plans might change. There's nothing wrong with getting an indication, it is only a binding promise that you can't seek. Equally you can ask them how much maternity leave they plan to take. I think before they go they do at some point need to give you a return date but that can be changed - I'm not too sure about that bit. Then you can give those answers to your interview candidates. For some reason I think that Nanny has to give about a month's notice before her return to work anyway(maybe that is only if the date changes), so your replacement also needs to be on a month's notice.

You can also advertise a job as "maternity cover" and applicants will know fine well that if the nanny does not return they probably have a permanent job.

One final point - you need to be able to cover your nanny's ante-natal appointments, so you'll want to keep some of your own holiday entitlement in reserve for that.

Laquitar, her comment wasn't general, it was aimed at me and her next sentence began with 'you' (as in me) so directly pointing to me. I feel personally offended that someone would accuse me of doing one of my employees out of entitlements, seriously pissed off about that and why flowery won't acknowledge that very valid point of mine but instead feels she has to leave is beyond me.

Whilst I am sure there are some nanny employers who want to 'do their employees out of their entitlements' I am certainly not one of them and I really resent me being lumped in with that.

Fridayschild, thanks, 2 nannies getting pregnant! You must have the special pregnancy house (like the special chair at work!). Those are useful tips. She has, so far, arranged all her appointments for her day off. We didn't ask her to do that but she felt she wanted to and I'm enormously grateful that she did to be honest but I've told her that as the appointments become more regular, she will end up taking time off during the week and she must do so!

Foxinsocks, I think you've been very unfair to flowery. I'm six months' pregnant, and if my boss tried to get me to commit to when I'm coming back after mat leave, I would be very annoyed. Obviously, you're likely to have a very different relationship with your nanny, but I would say that that means you need to be even more careful to do the right thing. Flowery's advice was (as usual) spot on.

where did I say I wanted her to commit to that cornflake girl? your employer has a right to know a return date (as some of the links point out below).

You said that she hadn't made her mind up yet about coming back and that you needed a more serious conversation with her. I inferred from that that the conversation was about if / when she was coming back. My apologies if that wasn't what you meant.

My employer has to assume that I'm taking a full year mat leave. I only have to advise them if that is not my intention, and I only need to give 8 weeks' notice in that case.

Jeez, is there a gang up up against foxinsocks incentive somewhere I have missed?

Hi, fox!

Chill out people. She is just worried about childcare for her kids. Sh'e's not sending the nanny packing or doing anything else inappropriate. Seems people are reading more into her posts than what she has actually tyoed.

Are you OK fox, it looks like you are getting a hard time here and rather unfairly. I think people forget that you are just a mum not a company.

We have ahd several staff (very small business involving childre) go off pregnant and in my experience none of them know what if anything they are entitled to and all really appreciated a chat with regards to their plans (usually them telling me they wanted to work right up to the date and come back straight afterwards and me telling them they might feel differently.)

As an employer you assume that your nanny is going to take a full 12 months off unless she tells you otherwise. A temp will be fine with that.

Hope you are OK and not too upset at all the flak.

hi Athene, islandofsodor! Thanks!

Yes I'm fine. As Athene said, all I am worried about is childcare for my kids. Although we do take on the responsibilities as employers when we employ nannies, we also have a big emotional interest in the relationship, far more so than a normal employer employee relationship in an office because you are entrusting the nanny with your children. So when something like this happens or a nanny leaves, yes the employer aspect has to be covered but I, as a mother, also have to consider the impact on my children of her future plans! That is all really!

I didn't mean to offend flowery but I just felt I was being accused of being someone trying to do my nanny out of her rights, which was certainly never my intention.

Athene, have been following your nanny sagas and I hope you have managed to find someone suitable now!

It does seem to me like the children come second in this case. I can't see any way around it w/o making employment law too complex and potentially discriminatory. But that doesn't mean that it's an easy situation for the family. If things aren't going well with the cover for whatever reason a year is a VERY long time for a child and the parents to have to put up with an unsettled situation.

Might also be worth finding out if you're allowed to have a trial period with the nanny and her baby if she comes back before committing to it indefinitely.