advice re my childminder and my expectations - long!

[missmuddle]

I would like some advice from all you wonderful professional childminders. I want to know if honestly you think my childminder is taking advantage of me or if i am expecting to much.
The situation
My childminder is employed for about 15 hours a month (10 sessions of 1/5 hours) term time only for me for this I pay £100. - this is what i agreed to - we have no written contract but i have used her on and off for about 10 years and she has actually given up childminding but continues these hours for me. I have no problem with this.

ON most nights she only does about 45 mins - as i leave late and dh arrives early.

If i have visitors or friends over i cancel her and stll pay

i pay if i am on leave but not in the holidays as i don't get paid.
On average over the last year he has worked about 40% of the time she is paid for.

I have agreed to all this

BUT
In my opinion i seem to give but all she does is take -
recently i had to go into work an hour early - she expected additional payment and i do understand yes legally she is but morally i think it would not hjave hurt for the purposes of goodwill to give me a free hour

One holiday she phoned me up over the holidays and asked for a retainer over the holiday - i had to explain that i did not get paid over the holidays and therefore could not pay her

One day she brought her son to play with mine - asked dh if he could get home early as she had made dinner arrangements and if we could look after her child for the evening - without pay but she would get paid.

She complains abot the expense of parking and implies i should cover her parking costs - yet she can park on my drive for free

So what i want to know am i expecting too much. Because from my point of view if i work a little bit extra at wotrk i don't expect to be paid ,as i know other days i get away a bit early and believe that in most working relationships it should be a bit of give and take?

Sorry its long and hope it makes sense?

So is she your nanny or babysitter if she is working at your house?

weel she is my childminder as initially she looked after them at her house when i worked full time then ahe gave up minding and started coming to my house

so i call he my childminder but she is probably a babysitter

If she gave up child minding, how is she still minding your child? Is she insured? Still registered with the NCMA?

Why don't you just get someone else? Plenty of CMs do wrap around and term time only, not just full days.

no shes not insured or reg with ncma - but she said she would help out for a few weeks when i changed jobs - but 4 years down the line we stayed with the arrangment.

I do think about getting someone else but she is very reliable plus what i want to know is are my expectations too high is it unreasionable to expect some give and take

The simple answer is that your expectations aren't too high if someone is prepared to meet them. I wouldn't leave my child with an uninsured CM but that's up to you.

She doesn't sound very reliable, she sounds like a pain in the arse. Have you even looked at Childcare Link to get details of other CMs in your area?

What does her contract say regarding a retainer, hours etc?

She is definatly taking advantage of you in my opinion which is a shame because it seems as though she is your friend too and if she agreed to be flexible then she should be. its hard to deal with these things so far down the line i know but i think you really need to sit her down for a chat and explain how you feel about this situation, and if she doesn't seem to think she is doing anything wrong, then you really have a problem! I think you should look for someone else to help you, and set out terms straight away, it can still be flexible but discuss how it would be expected from both sides. too many people want something for nothing and it seems she just thinks your an easy ride. you are paying her a hell of alot considering her only overheads are petrol! she might think she she is entitled to more as it is inconvenient to go to yours for short periods etc but then she shouldn't have agreed to it! there out of my system !!
[BLUSH]

she is reliable in that she come every night that i need her

She was insured etc for the first 6 years i used her

Plus the insurance is not really the issue as if i used a babysitter they would not be insured

What does your contract say?

Find a decent registered childminder - some do baysitting aswell and are still insured etc, she is not doing you the favour here , its the other way round by the sounds of it ! she is taking advantage of you because she probably thinks you think - better the devil you know X

If there is no contract then pay her only for the exact time she does

she will soon realise who is doing who the favour

that is what both dh and i think better the devil you know but i do think we have reached a point of making a decision to change and take a chance as i feel like she thinks i have mug stamped on my forehead

woooooooo you pay alot of money to her for an unregistered childminder/nanny
its money in her pocket
for 15hrs i would get paid £48 amd i pay insurance/bla,bla,bla

thanks for all your reponses i think i am going to try make some changes

That's a Nanny/Babysitter not a CM.

Please don't call her a childminder - she isn't registered, doesn't have insurance, doesn't do contracts, and wouldn't have a clue if she was a cm now by the sound of it .

You are basically giving her 'pocket money', which she probably won't be declaring, and if anything was to happen to your dc, you wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Please find yourself a nice, reliable REGISTERED cm - you'll soon realise just how much she has taken a lend of you.

Forgot to add, for those hours I would charge £51 and of course take expenses out of that. can I come and as your babysitter instead please much better pay and no paperwork

There are plenty of good Cms out there it wont take long to find one look at CIS website childlink .co.uk if i remember rightly phone em up and short list them x

childcarelink.gov.uk - all [Ofsted registered] cms who have registered their details with their local authority

She's a nanny rather than a childminder, and £100 for 15 hours is cheap. If you want to continue you should set up a contract and make everyone's expectations clear.

Does she work the same days each week or is it a more ad-hoc arrangement?

£25 a week doesn't seem bad to me if she's reliable.

Most childminders would charge you for a mimimum of 2 hours per day anyway, wouldn't they?

As a babysitter (and yes I have insurance) for 10 sessions of 1.5 hours, my charge would be £300 (as I charge a 3 hour minimum per session). So this person looks quite cheap to me.

As the person is working in your home, you are the boss... you dictate what happens, when it happens, how much you pay etc.

If the person is taking your child/children out anywhere... then additional charges for things like parking, fuel, admission to the venue are to be expected.

If the person is moaning about the cost of parking in your neighbourhood, then that isn't your issue - as you have said you provide a parking space.

When you needed an extra hour of childcare, it is not unreasonable for you to have to pay for that hour. If you were employing them for say 40 or 50 hours a week, then they may have agreed to that extra hour not being charged, as you often get home early on other occasions. But that isn't the situation here... you only employ them for 15 hours a month, so I don't feel you can expect them to be that flexible.

A retainer over holidays isn't on... as the person knew the situation at the start of the agreement. They can terminate the agreement at anytime, with a weeks notice I suspect.

yes i do appreciate that it is only a short contract but in reality she only usually works 7 1/2 hours and for the next 4 weeks she will only be doing about 4 hours of the 15 i pay her.

The times and days are fixed - but can usually take leave if she needs a night off