mindees and mealtimes what do you do?

[2anddone]

Hi I am new to MN and wanted to ask you childminders a question. I have 3 minded children 1 is 3 1 is 8months and 1 is almost 4. At mealtimes we all sit together at the kitchen table. I feed 8 month old and then give finger food while all the others and myself eat. The almost 4 eats really well and quite quickly (usually done within 15 mins) the 3 year old can take up to an hour!. What do you do in this situation I don't give desert we have it as our afternoon snack as he is so slow. We have a cooke4d meal and it is not that he is slow because he doesn't like what is on offer and I sit with him start to finish and help him if he wants it (he is very independent and wont always accept help) I try to make 4 year old sit and wait for him but then he gets bored and misbehaves and I have tried to do table games with him while we wait but this slows the 3 year old down even more. What do you suggest, should I let 4 year old get down from table and go play (can see playroom from kitchen so know he would be fine) and like I have said 8 month old sits in chair and waits quite happily until he is done

I have the same problem. Have you tried maybe doing some sticking/colouring instead of games, which might be a bit less disruptive. I dont see any reason that the older child gets down from the table (if feeding takes an hour) as its a bit unfair. As long as child is within earshot and you keep popping in between the two rooms, I dont see a problem with it. I have done the same.

we all sit together at the table to eat and once all food and desert is finished the children leave the table and play quietly but if one off the children is rushing food and is way a head of finishing i make them sit for a while and if there is a child still eating ill sit with them but still am able to see other kids as my table is in the room

Tried sticking as well it just seems that whatever happens at the table is distarcting I feel really sorry for the 4 year old as he gets so bored I think I will try it at lunch tomorrow and see how we go

I try and avoid them sitting at the table for too long because as you know they get bored and things start to go wrong. I would never leave a slow eater at the table on their own, I would stay with them but i would let the others get down. My downstairs is pretty open plan so i can easily watch them from the table. In an ideal world of course everyone shoudl wait for the last person but in reality with small children it is not high on my priorities. I would rather everyone was happy and content.

I like them all to sit until everyone has finished, but if one of the children is really slow, I do sometimes let the others go first. There is only so much waiting a young child can do. At 4 years old they are old enough to understand that it is normally polite to wait until everyone has finished, but the younger child needs some extra time to finish on their own.

Although I think its good manners to stay at the table until everyone's finished, an hour is quite excessive - I'm be fidgeting as an adult let alone a 4 year old! I'd let him down to play/ read a book nearby

I would prefer everyone to stay at table til we're all finished. But its just not fair when some children are finished in 10 mins anothers take over an hour. 50 mins is too long for a young child to sit still and behave well IMO. So I just make sure to serve the slowest first and get the quickest ones involved in conversation and helping out to slow them down a little.

I made placemats with the children (just typed their name in an outline font, gave it to them to colour in and then laminated). This gives the preschoolers a chance to practice writing their name with their finger at the table. (and getting their mats out is another delaying tactic, or I can put them out eg if I want 2 children not to sit together !)

I do have dessert (usually fruit or yoghurt) and encourage the older ones to help set and clear the table. One child in particular really likes to wipe the table, so that keeps her busy for ages (even though I have to do it again after!). And when they're done I let them leave the table, wash hands/face and play quiet games - puzzles/colouring etc.