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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

CM CLUB - Need some tips for re-gaining control of my 4 x 2's and under!!!

31 replies

needtoregaincontrol · 18/05/2009 19:55

Name changed as a little about this!

I've got 4 kiddies aged just turned 2 and under and normally all is ok but I'm just starting to feel like I'm loosing control a bit. One 2 year old in particular is a little monkey and is constantly doing the opposite to what they know you want them to do!!

One of the problems is getting this child to listen to me and hold on to the buggy whilst we walk to school (not far as park up and then walk down the road a little) and back. They won't hold on because they know you want them to, won't hold hands with the older child I ask them to etc. Well, the way round this is revert back to the triple buggy which means they're stuck in a pram again (they like walking, just don't listen! lol) I'll try this for a bit and then give them a chance to show me they are ready to do as I ask and we'll see what happens (this child is VERY clever and DEFINITELY understands - it's all about THEM wanting to be in control - of course )

The other problem is getting them all into the class rooms at school. When it was just my ds1 we had to get, it was fine as I'd leave the kids in the pram (if they weren't walking) and would show my face to the class and then he'd get all his stuff. His classroom is perfect as I park the kids right outside the door and am right next to them pretty much so can see, here and all that - no problemo But now I have THREE different classrooms to go to on some days and the location of the other 2 are not so great. I leave my own ds2 in the pram as I know he's fine, but find it hard with the others as I wouldn't leave mindees outside where I can't see them.

Today I DID get ds2 out of the pram (he'd been upset so thought it not fair to take the other 3 in but not him) and this is probably why it was a nightmare (ds2 is 11 months and was held on my hip, tiny 16 month old didn't want to get out of the pram and then didn't want to walk but although I can easily carry the 2 normally, one on each hip, I couldn't do that AND control the 2 x 2 year old. Soooo, I had dead weight on the right, trying to get 16 month old to come with me to mindees classroom and then 1 of the 2 yr olds freezing in doorways and stuff on purpose and basically finding it very funny that THEY were in control!!!).

Now as I said, I usually leave ds2 in the pram (thank god! lol) but this issue with this particular mindee needs sorting but not sure how. Unfortunately they're a VERY heavy 2 yr old so carrying them and another child isn't an option. And tbh, what I'm after is some clever tips to get them to 'listen'. This child is also driving their parents mad at home - classic 'terrible 2's' .

Any tips? Or do I just remind myself 'it's a phase, it's a phase'??? Whenever we play in the playground and then it's time to go, they never come and just fall onto their bottom in that stubborn 'I'm not coming' way. So me and the other 5 kiddies will walk to a point where they can no longer see us (but we're close and we can see EVERYTHING - through bushes) and then they quickly get up and come to us. So that definitely works outside. Just not so easy indoors when there are parents and kids rushing all over the place!!!

Right.....over to the experts

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

HSMM · 18/05/2009 21:33

The only thing I can think of is playing distracting games. They probably know the route fairly well now, so it can be counting the cars you walk past, or who can see the school gate/toy in the playground/ classroom/child/etc first. Somehow they need to learn that this is a NO OPTION discipline, without realising that control has been taken away from them. Does that make sense?

KatyMac · 18/05/2009 22:00

Could someone from the school collect the older children - 2 schools I collect from deliver them to me if I have a car full?

fairimum · 18/05/2009 22:08

When I was teaching we had CM's collecting several chn from various classes, we just used to get a note in our register (where cm had spoken to reception) to say on a monday please send x to mrs y's class room at the end of the day - so i collected them all in one place, so those children went through the school to the youngests classroom rather than out of their normal classes door!? worth asking??

HSMM · 19/05/2009 07:48

fairimum - that's a great idea (and good partnership working!)

coolj · 19/05/2009 08:10

I will add on my tuppenys worth too. Why dont you use straps on the toddlers when they are walking, attached to the buggy. Then if they let go at least they cant run onto the road.

Love the idea of children going to the same classroom as I will have that dilema in September [brill]

mumlove · 19/05/2009 08:15

School children - I collect all of them from the youngest classroom door. Parents did the letters to school saying it was fine to do this.
Also at DD's school from yr 3 upwards you have to wait by the gates and the children come out to you.

Shoshe · 19/05/2009 08:17

Another one that the school send all my mindees out together, I pick up 4 from the same school, all different classes, older ones are all sent to youngest class, where I can be seen outside from the door.

They also do this for a Mum with two toddlers and 3 in school.

JenniPenni · 19/05/2009 08:20

I also have 4 lil ones. They know my rule... 'You don't hold onto the buggy when we are out walking, we all stop and go back to the house'. They listen. I have never even had to use reigns. I know a couple of the mums have with the kids I mind, but I have never.

JenniPenni · 19/05/2009 08:20

I like the idea of the teachers sending the kids to one class for you... makes sense!

looneytune · 19/05/2009 08:22

Can't be bothered to change name back - it's ME

Thanks for all the comments, coolj - they do have harnesses on with straps that come off. The problem is, if they don't hold on to the buggy, they end up falling over sometimes (then I feel like saying 'well, you should have bloody held on then!! ). I do take the strap bit off when we get into school as tbh, if they are going to freeze, they'll freeze with or without them on and if I give them any free reign inside, we all just get tangled up as so hectic inside.

I'm loving the idea of picking up from one classroom!!! Will definitely ask about this . But yesterday's experience had nothing to do with different classrooms, all that happened in just the one and it was fine going to the other class as I just put the little monkey in the pram and kept her there for ds's classroom.

Will ask about classrooms. It just so happens so the youngest child's classroom is the worst location-wise!!

Right, time for school. At least I don't have any mindees with me for the run this morning (coming later today)

nannyL · 19/05/2009 08:43

stickers for walking nicely / being good?

wrist links when walking... (put them on tight enough that they cant get them off)

tbh i always have a buggy seat avaliable for a 2 year old, so when they strop they can just be strapped in and life can carry on regardless...

nannyL · 19/05/2009 08:46

also i can hold childs hand onto buggy while pushing buggy (they dont like it very much).... so if they wont hold buggy, can u not hold there hand under your hand while pushing? perhaps if you do that for a minute they will choose to hold buggy nicely themselves

saz73 · 19/05/2009 10:39

I take 3 under 3's into school most afternoons and have work out that if I get there 10 mins earlier then I can get through the school without the battle of pushing through everyone. Spoke to the teacher and DS is one of the first to go many times so I can get everyone out safely otherwise it's abattle as people/kids are rushing around and knocking mindee's over.

looneytune · 19/05/2009 10:46

NannyL - I've got the triple in the car now so that will help on most days. I'll give her the option to walk but can put her in the pram if needed. I always put my hands over the hands of the other ones BUT can't do this with these little ones as they can't reach that far up (and I can't push this sort of pram from the sides as too wide). Also, wrist strap not an option. I wasn't allowed to used reins but they finally allowed me to use these special harnesses I got (expensive!) - little monkey backpack with a bit that clicks on (I call them tails) and there is a loop on the end I put round my wrist. NO WAY will they allow a wrist strap!! Tbh though, I can deal with this situation being back with the triple, it's more the classroom problem.

Oh, and I do have a litaf seat to go but never used it. If a child is kicking off, does this actually work? As they don't have straps do they. Just interested as looking at different options right now. The only problem would be if I had the double with one of those seats and then both toddlers kicked off as the 11m and 16m have to be in the pram so only one could go in the seat thing (unless it would actually attach to the triple??? I doubt it would though )

Thanks again Off to group so be back later.

nannyL · 19/05/2009 12:50

i dont get why you arnt allowed to use wrist straps?

who says?

and if the alternative is stubborn 2 year old having a strop getting run over OR wrist strap i know which i would choose!
(you can also attach wrist strap to reins (I have done this and its fine) and then they cant get off

looneytune · 19/05/2009 13:11

nannyL - I know BUT......it's not up to me is it!! I could actually understand the strap thing more than reins but could never understand the rein thing!!!! So....I told the parents that this child wouldn't be able to walk then, even though more than capable and could actually do with the exercise. The family are LOVELY, just one of those things they didn't want so what can you do. Obviously I could give notice if I wanted to but no point over just that

holdingittogether · 19/05/2009 13:16

I use wrist reins and I far prefer them to traditional reins or those back packs with a lead.

looneytune · 19/05/2009 13:24

still not up to me though

nannyL · 19/05/2009 13:29

i cant see how it isnt up to you really...

you have 4 very small children and need to be responsible for them all...

have 4 is very different to one or even 2 children (as im sure you know) and if you need to do it to keep them safe i cant see how you as the responsible adult cant overrule!

Shoshe · 19/05/2009 13:38

looney I have in my policies that reins ans wrist straps are you be used, if parents dont agree, I dont take the child.

We have a duty of care and taking several small mindees out near roads means that we need to use reins.

I would implemnt a new policy and get all parents to sign in, stating that it is a safety issue if need be.

looneytune · 19/05/2009 13:45

I see what you're both saying and this was my arguement to them recently and they allowed the backpacks. Yes, I could go through the conversation again and say I insist on wrist straps BUT I DO have an alternative so it isn't an issue. I've got the triple back in the car, problem solved A wrist strap wouldn't help in the slightest with the problems I have with this child as if they don't want to do something/go somewhere, they just freeze or fall to the ground (sure you all know what I mean by a toddler doing this ) so no reins or straps sorts that out.

I think the classroom thing is definitely worth looking into, will ask teachers today. There is a LOVELY assistant in the classroom of my youngest (which happens to be the worst location) and I might ask if there is any way she could take that mindee to the room next door where the next youngest is and get ds1 to meet them there too. This way, I can keep the kids in the pram whilst I dash in - this wouldn't be an option for the other classroom.

Thanks for all your help

nannyL · 19/05/2009 13:57

my stubborn then 2 year old used to freeze or refuse t walk.... he had reins on and would be dangled along.... it actually never took him very long to realise it was much more comfortable to put his feet down on the ground and walk.

i think that bringing all the children to the same classroom sounds like a great idea

looneytune · 19/05/2009 14:01

do you mean like they get dragged along??? If so, tempting but I'd worry what people would think! I'd have no problem doing that with my own children but i suppose i worry what other people would think (not knowing that i've tried everything else!).

Fingers crossed with the classroom thing.

Tbh, mindee was upset when they had to go in the pram. They said 'no pram, walk...walk, walk, walk' - I reminded them about yesterday and said how they didn't listen etc. and now they have to go in the pram. I'm hoping that they'll be that annoyed with it that when i go back to trying walking, they'll start behaving better

nannyL · 19/05/2009 14:59

not dragged along... more like 'hanging off' their reins!... as they lift up their legs (to drop) but dont end up falling...

must be unconfortabe but wont hurt as such...

as i say my stubborn little 2 year old didnt like it and very soon gave up / put his legs on the ground normally and walked properly

looneytune · 19/05/2009 16:27

Think I know what you mean.

I asked my ds1's teacher about the classroom thing but looks like it might not be an option. Have another option but need to speak to the youngest mindees teacher first.

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