Too many Mindees, who do I let down and what do I say?

[brazenhussy]

I originally had 5 mindees under 5 who all attended on a part time basis. Of these 5, 4 now have baby siblings.

As each parent announced they were pregnant I told them that a place here could not be guarenteed due to the fact that all my Mindees are under 5.

However one by one they have managed to pursuade me to take on the siblings and I now mind 4 under 5's every day.

This amount of babies is really hard work and I am no longer enloying the job that I once loved.

I am just back from a 4 day break feeling really good and refreshed and realise that I am going to have to let some of the children go.

I am rubbish at confrontation and I know at least two of my parents are going to take this personally so...
what do I say and how do I justify who I keep and who I let go?

There are plenty of Childinders locally looking for work so placing them won't be a problem - except for the fact that only one of my Mindees lives locally as others travel to me from other side of town.

Thank you ladies in advance

poor you, its so hard to say no to the parents isnt it? also most cms are mindful of keeping hold of customers and pleasing everyone and forgetting about themselves. You seem to have made the decision to let some of the mindees go, so my advice to you would be to keep the ones whose parents are the easiest to deal with. who pays you regulaly and ON TIME and who you have the best professional relationship with.
You are running a business and as long as you keep to the notice terms of your contract then theres no come back.
If anyone takes it personally, and cant see your side, then thats their hard cheese.
Offer other cm details to them and good luck.

Brazenhussy - feel it's a hard decision to make, here's what I did sit down with a pad and paper write down details of all mindees make up a points system to score with. I included

1. Ages - r u likely to keep them long term, if they will be leaving soon point them high
2. Do they have siblings
3. Are you likely to keep them when they start school
4. How much income do they generate
5. Are they challenging or have you had a lot of probs from parents
6. Do you look after any mindees at awkward hours ie: really early / late
7. Who pay's on time
8. Do any take excessive holidays during the year (that you don't get fee's for)
9. Do you have days when you are constantly dropping / off picking up from playgroups / nurseries etc

you might think of other things to add that are relevant to you, I'm glad you have made the decision, I felt the same at the beginning of the year was run ragged, now I am enjoying what I do again (most of the time )my list might seem a bit harsh to some it's difficult to choose who stays / goes but if you make a purely logical / business decision it might make you feel a little easier.

what about working with another cm or assistant then u could keep them all

are you allowed 4 under 5's

i thought cms law was 3 under 5 unless got a special order from ofsted?

could you afford an assistant to help you

Hi everyone, thanks for your replies

the body - yes i do feel I am pleasing everyone apart from myself at the moment. Am not worried about any comeback just about the initial telling them!

atworknotworking-

1. All of my mindees will be leaving at school age as I don't offer school pick ups

2.All have siblings which will mean I will lose two children for every family I intend to tell. 3,as above 4.All relatively the same as all two of three days per week

1. no unfortunately not, that would make it easier

6.no 7.Everyone. I have a zero tolerance on late payments 8.That is part of the problem, none of them ever seem to take holidays 9.Yes everyday lol

I think I will ask a fellow childminder which of my children she would like to look after and decide that way

missymoo2411 - not possible due to me having to employ them and I live in rented accomadation and the tenancy won't allow it.

Blondeshavemorefun - yes I am allowed 4 under 5 and 2 under one

Think my question is more of 'what do I say?'

I can only say I too would be knackered having 4 under 5 on a daily basis.

babysat sat night for 5 under 3 (well 2 had just turned 3) they were awake for 3hrs of me being there and was exhausting - time goes quickly though. (had 6mth, 14mth, 2yr and then 2 3yr olds)

OMG eastmidlandsnightnanny I would be knackered too!!

Funnily enough it's the mental and emotional drain on me not the physical one that is getting to me. All the children I mind are between 2 and 3 and all the babies are under 15 months and there isn't a moment in the day when someone isn't needing me for something!!
Then by 3.30 my own 4 children are home from school and another session starts before the first is over.

There has to be easier ways for lone parents to make money

I mind 4 kids under 4 most days, I have a variation. It is difficult work yes as they are so dependent. I do love this age though... and no school runs! Woohoo!

Mmmm I know exactly what you mean physical tiredness to me is great and in a way very rewarding, emotional and mental tiredness on the other hand is a place where you don't want to be, as I said earlier this was me last year so after xmas I made the same decision (let 3 from same family go had other issues as well so decision was easier) but I have to say, my life now is good and I have a lot more energy (mentally) for the other children, it shows in them too as they are blossoming so much with the extra support I can now give.

With regard to what you can say, it's not going to be easy (mine wasn't but thats another story) can you say that with the EYFS paperwork that you do for each child your days just arn't long enough especially as you have 4 of your own as well (not that I want to diss EYFS but can be a valid reason if you have 5 learning journeys and planning to do).

Or you could be honest and just say that you are feeling the strain and you just need to free some spaces, I'm sure they will understand, and if you can reccommend a fellow minder the hassle of finding other child care will be taken from them, which to be frank is probalby the first thing they will think about anyway. You have made te right decision, stick with it and good luck

atworknotworking, so much of what you said rings true here.

I was thinking of blaming the EYFS paperwork but the two families I want to let go are the ones that have been with me the longest and I will be lost for words if they asked me why i am letting them go and keeping ones that started fairly recently

I need to do some serious thinking, don't I?

Awww BH feel sooo for you.

You say the two families you are thinking of lettong go have been with you the longest. so looks like you have made your decision, can I ask what swung it for you in the end? if that's not to cheeky

Well one of the families children only comes for one day each week so they seem an obvious choice and the other little boy (the only one without a sibling) mithers non stop for the whole two days he is here, finds it hard to play alone, repeats himself over and over even though I always acknowledge him on the first occasion and is never satisfied no matter how many activities are on offer. All this is probably due to his Grandma minding him on the other 3 days, plus his family never seem to go on holiday so don't get a break from him.

Sorry if that sounded a bit harsh but the way I'm feeling now I would be happy to lose any of them just to not feel this knackered

Oh I know your pain, I really do!!! I wish I was in a position to be able to reduce them but then again, I love them all dearly and would miss them. I just wish dh knew how hard it was and would then help!!

I've got 4 aged early 2 and under Mon-Fri and although they are all wonderful and I love their little personalities, put them together and they can be VERY VERY hard work!!! My own 11 month old is already starting to show signs that he'll be the same in a short while - he's been watching the rest too long!!! The 16 month old is so cute and tiny (same size as my 11 month old) but boy has she got a temper on her now! and the 2.3 and 2.1 month old quite often fight too. I TRY distraction, I really do, but it doesn't always work!! The after schoolies are 4, 5 and 6 and also have their moments! The worst being that one of the after schoolies (who just started) and toddler are siblings and can arrive sometimes already ready for a fight - not what I like to have to deal with at 7.30 in the morning!!!

I really would love to reduce hours, days or number of children but I simply can't afford to HOWEVER if I was going to, I'd use the idea given by atworknotworking. Makes a lot of sense

Good luck with your decision, I bet you'll feel heaps better once you've made the decision and informed the parents. Yes, you'll feel awkward etc. but really, your own well-being is much more important!!

Thanks looneytune for your support and making me smile x

Brazen - It doesn't seem harsh at all, you have clearly made a considered opinion on which mindees you find most stressfull, we all have some at some point that are similar believe me YOU WILL FEEL BETTER just bottle up some courage and take the next step.