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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Can a childminder put my mind at rest?

9 replies

BeatrixRotter · 17/05/2009 20:16

I'm visiting my first childminder tomorrow and I'm scared! I'm sure you're a lovely bunch think it is just the whole going back to work/stepping into the unknown/leaving DD with a stranger scenario.

Will it matter that my DD is a slow and messy eater (she's 11 months)? Will I find someone who has the same ideas as me? Will they give her a cuddle when she bumps her head? Will they help me make it as painless as possible?

Can you tell I'm a bit of a worrier?

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MaureenMLove · 17/05/2009 20:26

Bless ya! Any childminder worth her salt, will do all those things! As for your ideas, she will work with you, not against you and your lo will grow up just as you intend.

There are a list of possible questions to ask potential cm's on here somewhere, but I'm not sure where. I'll ask around for you.

MaureenMLove · 17/05/2009 20:26

Oh and aren't all 11 months olds slow, messy eaters?

Numberfour · 17/05/2009 20:29

When I went back to work, I felt just like you did. In fact, I started crying at my first interview with a childminder, thinking "Am I supposed to leave my son with YOU??" She did nothing to make me feel at ease.

A few weeks later I found the right one. She was lovely! and my son loved going to her. When I dropped him off in the morning (he was 7 months old) I knew that I did not have to worry about a thing and could concentrate on my work.

I am now a childminder (have been for a few years) and I know how hard it is for mothers to leave their children.

The right childminder will make it as easy as possible for you and it will just feel right when you meet the right one.

Ask for references. Look at how the children are in her company(usually childminders are female. Look at how the little ones interact with her - do they climb up to be cuddled? do they show her things and interact happily with her? if they cry to they go to her for comfort?

The right childminder will not care a fig if your child is a messy eater. In fact, anyone who expects an 11 month old to eat any way other than messily has unrealistic expectations and does not understand children.

Again the right childminder will share your ideas and maybe come up with some that will make things easier for you too. And yes, they should definitely give your child cuddles when she hurts herself or even just because she cares for your child.

The childminder should also understand and respect that you are a "worrier".

You will find the right person - make sure that all the paperwork is in order like registration certificate, insurance, fist aid, etc. And then make sure that you feel right about her.

good luck!

BeatrixRotter · 17/05/2009 20:29

I only have the one so I can't compare.

I have printed off a list of questions that I found on here, which was very helpful.

Thanks! The possibilities for fretting are endless.

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BeatrixRotter · 17/05/2009 20:33

Thank you too NumberFour. I'll probably cry too.

Most of the people I've spoken to to make appoinments were lovely but the lady I am seeing tomorrow (my first one) was so brusque (sp?) on the phone. I know that doesn't have any bearing on her abilities but it has made me wish I was seeing one of the friendlier ones first.

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sundew · 17/05/2009 20:33

Beatrix - you will know when you find the right CM for you. We went round to three or four when we were looking for a CM for dd1. They were all nice - but one I just fely 'happier' with. It was nothing to do with the house - as at the time they were living in a big mobile caravan whilst they biult their own home. I just liked the way she was.

I'm sure you will find the right CM for your little one - good luck in finding them

BeatrixRotter · 17/05/2009 20:35

sundew - am hoping that I will have a gut reaction like you say. Thanks

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Numberfour · 17/05/2009 20:36

i agree about it not being about the house, sundew. the CM we had for our DS had a house that was a little cluttered and a little untidy. her son played up the day we saw them and she was convinced that we would not come back. the reason why we did was because she was lovely and kind and clearly cared a lot for her son. the way she handled his minor performance only served to show me and DH was kind of a person she was.

Talking on the phone is not always the best way to judge someone. Maybe she was feeling ill or tired or maybe she is not the one for you. See your first appointment as a practice for the others!!

Numberfour · 17/05/2009 20:39

beatrix, it will feel right when you meet the right one! see as many as you need to or can. and remember that you may need to travel a bit out of your area or find one not directly on the way to work. also consider looking for one close to home or one close to work - which would be better for you?

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