If I tell you my situation and the sort of help I want could you knowledgeable lot tell me who/what I should be looking for please?

[bran]

DS had to change school last autumn. He now goes to a fabulous school where he is thriving but it's a car commute away. At the moment it's very manageable, about 25 mins each way. However in September the school will be moving to a new location inside the congestion charging zone. I've investigated various different ways of getting there and both public transport and car will take about 50 mins each way (probably a little less by car).

I have a younger child who will still be using a pushchair in September. There are two other children at the school who live very close by, child A whose mother is also a SAHM with a younger child and child B both of whose parents work full-time. All three children will be in the same year 1 class and are lively, especially when together. Child B currently goes to school on the tube and finds it quite frightening in the morning rush-hour (being so little and squashed up against grown-ups) so her mum would be keen for her not to use public transport.

The school are thinking of offering a breakfast club so that parents who work in the city can do the drop off and still get to work on time. At the moment DH works in the city as do the parents of child B. However there's no guarantee at all that DH will still be in the city (or even in this country) in Sept as he changes contracts quite frequently.

I would like some sort of child care/transport solution that means that I don't have to schlep DD to and from school twice a day to drop DS. It would be nice if it was something all 3 families could benefit from. I could car-pool with child A but I couldn't fit the child B in as well if I have to take DD with me. Plus I think the parents of child B would feel awkward not to be able to do their share in a car-pool situation.

I'll post this and see what you think, and gather my thoughts together to give you my first thoughts on possible solutions so you can point out the flaws give me your thoughts.

I would pay for someone to help, not rely on other mums tbh.

How old are the children?

OH, I see 5-6. Too young to be going on the underground, surely??

Yes, I think paid-for help is the way to go here. I'm not sure what type though.

All the children are young-ish for their academic year. One has just turned 5 and the other two will turn 5 in June.

Can I just clarify - do child A and B live near you, or near the school.

For you: Is there a lovely childminder nearby who could have dd for a couple of hours, 3 afternoons a week. That way, she would only need to do the afternoon school run twice a week, and it would give you some time with ds on his own. However, this may not be practical as I know that dd has only just joined your family and it may be too soon for childminders etc.

For the others - I need to do a bit more thinking!

ps - so glad to hear that ds is thriving. I know it was a hard decision to make, but it sounds like it's worked out really well.

Granny help?

They wouldn't be going on the tube to the new school if they go on public transport. It would be either light rail (DLR) for 2 stops then mainline rail for 10 mins or Thames Clipper (which is quite expensive and not all that frequent).

What childcare arrangements do Family B have? Who currently takes him to school on the tube?

Just wondering whether they could get childcare that takes him to school (in a car rather than by tube) and takes yours and Child A to school (and back) with you and Family A contributing to the cost.

Child A and B both live very close to me.

There are lots of lovely childminders nearby, but they are quite busy and will only do pick-ups from local schools. DD is very wary of strangers and I think would cope better with someone coming into the home to look after her than going somewhere else.

Child B needs after-school care as both parents work and she currently gets picked up from school by an office junior from her parents' office and dropped at a lovely childminder near home. She is very happy with the childminder.

Sorry, cross with nbee84. Child B is taken to school by one of her parents. It's only one stop on the tube, but she really doesn't like the crush. Going home isn't too bad as it's not so busy. It takes almost the same time currently on public transport as it takes me by car.

I used to car-pool with Family A before we got DD and before child B started at the school. At the moment nobody is car-pooling because I can't turn off the air-bag on my front passanger seat and I can't fit 3 seats across the back. Family B don't have a car, but they are considering buying one. I don't know if they have parking at their work.

My current thinking is as follows

choice a) Regular people carrier-type minicab in the mornings with the parents of child B accompanying. Car seats to be left at school for pickup. Mum A and I take it in turns to pickup (would drop child B at childminder), the one who isn't driving looks after both younger children. Pros: cheap; there is a chance to chat to teacher and other parents. Cons: time-consuming; could fall apart if one child is ill or if either Mum A or I are ill or unable to do it

choice b) As choice a for mornings. Afternoons have a nanny-share to do pickup. Nanny would look after child B until parents come home. Pros: I don't have to drive or leave DD with anyone; would be wrap-around care for family B; if DD gets to know nanny I could do pickup and leave DD with nanny if I wanted to chat to teacher; Cons: could be expensive (I don't know how budget conscious the other families are/have to be); would have to use either my car or family B's car (insurance/congestion charge); would be a pain if nanny is ill; not sure whether we could get someone to work those hours.

choice c) The working parents share the morning drop-off by public transport. Mum A and I either take it in turns to pick up by river boat or train or both do it together. Pros: a little more ecologically sound; no congestion charge; chance to talk to teacher and parents; can go to lovely Borough market before Friday pickup. Cons: time consuming; not sure either of us could handle three 5 yr olds alone.

Forgot to say that by September I will probably have a new car so will be able to use the front passenger seat. Other info - school finishes at 3pm Mon-Thurs and 1pm on Friday.

If DH is working abroad I would probably want to have some help in the evenings so we could possibly have a nanny share with the nanny working mostly for me and dropping Child B at childminders. The foreign contract he is currently considering would mean that there would be a good sized budget to pay for a nanny/mother's help. Also, we are all very close by each other. Child A is about 5 mins walk (if that), child B is in the same building as us and child B's childminder is on the same street as us.

I don't know if it's relevant, but family A and family B don't know each other. They didn't meet until child B started at the school this term. I get on very well with both families and neither of them are at all difficult or unusually fussy about having things their own way. DS and child A egg each other on with bad behaviour, but like each other and enjoy playing together althoug they tend to be over-competitive and it sometimes ends in tears. Car pooling with child A used to be very loud indeed, mum A found the same. DS and child B get on well, and play together quite frequently, but again both are loud and energetic and it intensifies when they are together. I don't know how friendly child A and B are with each other, they don't know each other all that well.

Certainly sounds like some sort of Nanny share is the way to go.

Do you think I would have to have a full-time nanny? If she did the morning run she would need to start at about 8am at the latest. I'm not sure what she would do with her time between 9.40am when she would be back from school run and 2pm when she would need to leave again for pick up. I don't really need help to look after DD. The alternative would be to have a nanny that started at 2pm Mon-Thurs and 12pm on Friday, and finishing at about 6.30 or 7pm. I would have thought that most nannies would rather have a full-time job though as part-time wages would be lower.

How much approximately would each option cost (full-time vs part-time)? I suppose the full-time option would at least mean that child B would have child care during the holidays.

I can't remember whether nannies are able to be shared simultaneously with 3 families - you may have insurance problems.

Mum A came up with another suggestion which might work. Have a school bus. It would mean that child B could be dropped off at her childminder after school so she could keep going there.

I've mentioned it briefly to the headmistress and she will consider it. I'm not sure how many other children would be interested, there is a 4th child who could definitely use it as he is about 2 miles further out from us. And, of course, there might be more children joining next year who might be along the same route. There are currently on 18 children in the school in yr 1 and reception, but next year everyone will move up a year and there will be a new reception of up to 12 children.

I did a ball-park estimate for a full-time nanny and if it was halved between us and family B it would still be quite a lot more than family B are currently paying for a childminder.

Anyway we are all going to research differnt options and the mums are going to get together to eat Thai food and drink cocktails consider our options.

Why don't you just advertise for someone who either already collects from that school or who lives locally, with free time to do it for you. Put an add on here, netmums, gumtree for someone with CRB to collect the kids, take on public transport/walk....whatever, and then collect and drop at home in the evening.

You may get childminders that will do this, everyones situation is different, if a CM currently has little or no work then they'd probably do it, you may get a nanny that doesn't need/want a lot of hours.

I am a childminder and have just collected kids from school and dropped them at home.

I don't think we'd be able to get a childminder to suit us TP, where we live they are all pretty busy and they only do pick ups from the local schools. There has been a bit of a baby boom and there is a high proportion of both parents working so all child related things are full to capacity (including schools which is why we can't change to a local state school even if we wanted to). Family B are also very keen to stop using public transport in the morning rush hour as child B is quite scared of the crush. It would definitely be a crushed commute as the new location for the school is near a central London train terminal.

I did initially think about getting a mother's help type of person who lives locally and can drive, but tbh there is a lot of that sort of work available here so the hourly rate is quite high and reliable help is hard to come by.