AIBU not to want to get into debt to pay my dd's creche a whole month in advance??

[MsMargotBeauregarde]

When I was looking around I did say that I could make payment on the second monday of each month, and that was "fine, absolutely fine".

Every month since she's started, the creche owner has asked me in the first week for the money, and each time I've said, "no, do you remember I said I would pay you on the second monday of every month???" and to start with she'd said, "ah yes".

REcently though, she said to me "I feel like I'm always asking you for money". I nearly replied 'yes I feel that too'.

She started to tell me I was falling behind. I didn't say anything but I am feeling a bit upset/angry now. I have paid the full amount every month and always on the same agreed day. I have never paid it later than what she initially was fine with.

She also said 'if your dd leaves you'll end up owing money'. Well, I paid a full month's deposit up front when seh started, AND, USUALLY the second monday of every month is never later than the 13th of the month so usually I'm paying in the MIDDLE of the month which is fair to both parties. But mostly it falls about before the 13th, so I'm paying more of the month in advance than I am behind.

Am I being unreasonable here, or is the creche woman?? I dont' want to fall out with her over money, but I feel like she's either forgotten what we agreed or she's trying to change the goal posts. Also, I don't appreciate having money mentioned at least 3 times as often as it NEEDS to be.

Give me some outside perspective please!!

?

From what you are saying, in your position I would politely give the woman a piece of my mind. I would remind her we had agreed that she would be paid on a certain date and that this has ALWAYS happened. And you don´t expect her to bring the matter up again! Get her to confirm she had agreed on the second Monday of the month..

Get the payment details that have been agreed to in writing if you can.

Pretty normal ime to pay a month in advance and to pay the date that the nursery requested. If they expect payment at the beginning of the month then paying in the middle wouldn't be acceptable. If the nursery has varied that then you should have it in the agreement you would have signed so I would take a copy of that in to remind them.

I think it is normal for nurseries to be paid a month in advance and usually on the first of the month. If this nursery owner agreed to a later date then it should have been noted in your contract. If it was not noted, I think you need to have a meeting with the owner (rather than have her nab you in the hall, which I presume is what happens now) and ask her if this arrangement is still agreeable and if so, to please stop asking you for money at other times.
TBH, when I first read your post, I thought it should be OK to wait up to a week or so for the money but as I read through your post and you mentioned the paying date being possibly as late as 13th of the month I was more unsure about it. Many nurseries, like other businesses, are operating on tight margins and if she has just a few late payers, it may really impact on their cash flow.

Thanks everyone. If it had been made plain to me that I had to pay on the first day of the month I might have either found a way around that, or found a different nursery.

I feel like I've been cast as the "unreliable" in her eyes. And that is so unfair seeing as how I paid her double the first month (deposit plus the month's fee).

I am going to speak to her on Monday... I'll have to be careful. I was not exactly rude today, in my words, but I couldn't hide my irritation either.

annh, that's exactly it, we always nab eachother in the hall. Not conducive to finding a mutually convenient outcome.

Anniemac......... I bet that's what will happen. I'm not going to get my deposit back. And it'll be some bamboozlement logic that you just can't argue with.

So far, my dd has done 10 months there and I've paid 11 months worth. (or will have on MONDAY!)

why do nurseries get paid a month in advance?

i work a month and get paid at the end of it - just as most normal jobs/people do

MS MB i would check your contract, see if it has what date you will pay on it,ie 2nd monday

then ask for a meeting, and bring up payment and mention what you had previosuly said about paying 2nd monday

Because otherwise people could walk off owing the nursery a months money

Speaking as a childminder this has happened too

so do all cm ask for a month payment as well?

maybe i should ask as a nanny?

You actually see your bosses house

The address I am given could be false - so at the end of the month they could just disappear

very true katy - good point - never thought of it like that

Mind you how long that lasts I don't know

At my inspection OFSTED asked if I did 'Home Visits'......now when exactly can I fit those in?

would you normally go and see where your mindees lived then?

or hope that they dont lie

If every parent paid late then their staff would end up being paid late too hence the need to pay in advance.

If, however she verbally agreed to a particular payment date then she should honour that.

You refer to the setting as a creche. Is it a creche or a nursery?

Blondeshavemorefun neither I take a months money up front

I have been in a few of my mindees homes... not to check that the address was correct ;) but socially, plus to babysit.

Yes, it's best to get payment in advance - there are many people that leave nurseries/CMs sans paying... my mum had it in her nursery school (20 yrs), I haven't had it thankfully, but I know it does happen.

Also, something to think about... my bills are due on the 1st of the month. My childcare vouchers generally only go into my bank the 2nd or sometimes even the 3rd week, depends when the parent has initiated it/the co has sent it.

Imagine if my parents paid in arrears... I would be paid 6 weeks AFTER providing the service. So even though I do get late payments every month, it's easier to handle if they're in advance than in arrears (and less risky for me).. and thankfully hubby's salary comes in early, so covers the big stuff immediately.

MsMargotBeauregarde: I would check the nursery contract... that should have a date when monies are due.

I don't have a contract!! I can imagine if I asked for anything to be put in writing that would seem quite frosty.........

I'll just say to her that I thought she understood that my dd was only at the nursery because of this allowance i was gettig. WIthout the allowance, dd wouldn't be at the nursery....

Maybe it'll all be fine.

I don't understand why you just didn't pay from the beginning of the month like everybody else.
The creche ask for a month's fees in advance, but you pay 2 weeks in advance and 2 weeks in arrears practically.
No wonder the manager gets confused.
Surely this is an issue regarding your budgeting skills rather than the creche being unreasonable?

purepurple - I think that was uncalled for!
obviously the allowence doesn't come in before hand unless I'm pretty sure she would pay before hand non?
not really the same but I do sympathise MrsMB - my OH gets paid on the 11th of every month - previously it was the end of the month
we had to rearrange all the DD and whatnot - its not even the middle of the bloomin' month [grumble grumble]

I think that if you quite clearly stated when you could pay and she accepted then she should bugger off really. she has a months deposit, even if you did a bunk, she would be out of pocket would she?