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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Can my ex au-pair take legal action against me?

73 replies

Rebeccash · 26/04/2009 22:39

Hi there

I am a lurker on this board and recently had my first ap who lasted 8 weeks. I gave her one weeks notice to leave after putting up with : her doing no house-work (despite outlining clearly what needed doing and giving her a time-table: her role was only 2 hours childcare per day, the rest some house-work), her being ill (and paid) for 2 weeks but well enough to go out clubbing a number of times during her sick leave, having her sister to stay for a week as holiday (not arranged: she was meant to still cover childcare but didn't) and leaving all of their mess for me to clean, having male visitors over when I asked her not to and generally not being any help. So whilst her sister was here i told her she must have this week as unpaid holiday as she clearly had no intention of doing any work and they ate me out of house and home. Following a couple of heated discussions later in the week i gave her one weeks notice to leave and offered to pay her airfare to France which she refused. Two days later she left whilst i was at work without informing me and took all her things. now she has contacted me saying she has been in touch with ACAS and I owe her the money from when her sister was here and a months money as notice. I was under the impression au-pairs were not employees and I had acted reasonably. She says I left her homeless and should pay. (I offered her a flight home but she wants to stay in the UK).

Please advise, very stressed by it all and having to juggle work/childcare

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HarrietTheSpy · 09/05/2009 14:26

Where is she from? Did you check her references before you hired her? This is not a criticism if not or designed to say you should have, but I think you need to consider some sort of background check on this girl to establish whether she's done it before.

Original poster

Rebeccash · 09/05/2009 14:32

Hi
Yes she visited the GP three times in one week (he more or less called her a hypochondriac though!) so can prove she was sick. Her sister was here when she was on hokiday so can sort of prove thta through flights etc. She is french, checked three refs (her university as she had recently graduated, some-one she had babysat for in France and a high school she worked at), however she had been in the UK a few months when I employed her so could have done this before I suppose. Have bank statements to show wages I paid her. I guess I am worried about what she will come up with next.

OP posts:

frannikin · 09/05/2009 14:38

She sounds a total witch tbh. I hope your solicitor can sort this all out.

What is she doing now? Hope she hasn't found another family to con. Is there any way you find county court judgemens/tribunal records to see whether she's pulled this before?

If you win this I would name and shame on here to prevent her from doing it to anyone else.

frannikin · 09/05/2009 14:40

Oooh will school support you to say she never picked up your DS when her sister was here - proves she wasn't working.

Original poster

Rebeccash · 09/05/2009 14:43

Hi
I have no idea what she is doing, I originally offered her a flight home which she refused. I would love to name and shame but can't risk it at the moment however if anyone is interviewing/emailing a girl currently based (maybe or she may have moved) in Nottingham, aged 23, French send me a message and I will give you her name. She often talked of moving to London.

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HarrietTheSpy · 09/05/2009 14:51

Have you googled her, using not just her name but combos with what you know about her (schools, etc) out of interest? Also try other things like Facebook/My Space. It might be possible to get a handle on her from this, at least what she's up to. Sorry if it seems like I'm stating the obvious. If you don't speak French, do you know someone who does who could give you some search terms?

SpaceTrain · 09/05/2009 15:28

Good luck OP. I can only imagine the undue stress this is causing you. It's stories like this that put me off getting an AP

frannikin · 09/05/2009 15:40

will happily help with search term and FB stalk her from France

Original poster

Rebeccash · 09/05/2009 17:45

Hi
Yeah have googled her and searched using her uni etc. I do speak some French but probably not enough. Her FB profile is set to private and she is very wary about adding people (now I know why!!). Will keep you posted though. Thanks for all the support here.

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BoffinMum · 10/05/2009 14:36

It's sad this seems to be escalating, but clearly she's conning you.

I wondered whether slapping her with an online small claims court action for the costs of her sister's food and accommodation and replacing the locks, etc, might strengthen your case or diminish it.

If you took advice and did this carefully, she would no doubt automatically lose, and you would then have a judgement to send off to the community law place which would weaken her standing with them.

What does everyone else think? Would this be likely to make it worse or better?

Squiffy · 11/05/2009 11:39

FWIW, when I went through something similar, I sent a letter to her solicitor with full proof of everything that she said being a lie (eg copies of bank statements in your case), and I also sent along a claim for every single phone call she made when she was supposed to be looking after the kids, a claim for reimbursement of salary for the amount of vacation she had taken over and above her entitlement, a threat to take her to court for slander, and a threat to report her to the police for 'obtaining a pecuniary advantage by deception' (it is a criminal - not a civil - offence to lie in a CV and I found out that she had done so. This applies to stuff like false references, smoking, clean driving licence, and so on). A conviction for a criminal offence of course means no more childcare work....

Oddly enough, I never heard from her again.

CAT me if you want a (neutralised, anonomous) copy of the letter I wrote - you might want to use it as a template.

BoffinMum · 11/05/2009 14:22

Oh Squiffy, you are truly magnificent. That's even more damning than I would have been in the same situation. I take my hat off to you.

HarrietTheSpy · 11/05/2009 17:14

What about extortion?

Any great legal minds out there familiar with Rebbecash's options in this regard?

nanny1974 · 14/05/2009 10:39

poor you,what do your law say?

Original poster

Rebeccash · 15/05/2009 07:57

Hi guys
Thanks for all the support. My solicitor was great and said I gave correct notice and that my paperwork for proof of pay etc was in order. the only thing i may owe her is holiday pay (3.9 days) but can counter claim for changing locks/phone bill etc. She also took on board what Squiffy said about me being able to sue (or at least threaten it for slander) so thanks everyone. She has fired off a letter to my ex aps solicitor so fingers crossed. Still too scared to recruit another one although I do need one .............

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savoycabbage · 15/05/2009 08:18

Good for you! She sounds like a looper.

mumof2222222222222222boys · 15/05/2009 11:03

Watching this with interest. Really feel for you Rebecca - hope your solicitor's letter has the desired effect and she goes away with a flea in her ear. Hope you asked for costs too.

do update us and good luck.

Agusta · 18/05/2009 22:23

Message deleted

lizziemun · 04/06/2009 20:06

Rebeccash

Any updates.

Original poster

Rebeccash · 04/06/2009 21:24

Hi
Heard nothing back for her or her solicitor as yet, fingers crossed that I won't x

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looneytune · 05/06/2009 15:42

Oh good, fingers crossed you don't!!!

lizziemun · 06/06/2009 12:32

Good, here hoping she crawled back under her rock and leaves you alone.

Original poster

Rebeccash · 06/06/2009 13:35

Hi
I just want to say thank you so much to every-one who has posted on this thread. As I said initially I am a lurker on this board and i have been absolutely overwhelmed by the support I have received, so much more so than from those in RL and it has helped me to keep this in perspective XX

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