Questions for those who are or have nannies with their own children

[lobsters]

I know I'm overthinking this whole getting a nanny thing and being massively PFB, but bare with me.

One very real option for us is to get a nanny who has a child of their own, and ideally of a similar age to DD. I'm just beginning to wonder how it works. Will DD feel bothered that the nanny's child has their mum (or dad) with them all day and DD doesn't? Will the nanny's child feel resentful of DD that she is taking up some of their parent's time?

Also how do you handle the logistics? Will if be ok for nanny's DC to sleep in the travel cot? Will we need to get an extra highchair etc?

Is there anything else I haven't thought of? DD will be about 9 months when I go back to work

Ta

none of my friends have had their charge jealous that their childs mum is there

tbh if the child is same age, so baby/toddler they wont know any different and will happily share mum with the other child

its when they get to maybe 4/6 and then have to share their mum with maybe a toddler, that my friends find the jealousy

my mummy friends who are nannies are more than happy for child to sleep in tavel cot,asmost dont work 5 days, so having half of their week in one is fine iyswim

again most bring a booster seat/hichair/tray etc and leave it there for their child

We employed a nanny with her own child when my children were younger. Nanny's son was a year younger than my youngest. Although the nanny herself was not the best nanny in my opinon, the children still look back fondly on their time with her son (in fact I recently had to write a reference for her and I asked the children what was the best thing about Nanny X and they both replied 'playing with her son'.
Neither ever showed any jealously nor seemed jealous that he had his mum with him.

Thanks for the replies. One more question, if they do swimming etc do you pay for both children or just your own?

I would never do it on the basis if your child and theirs runs into the road at the same time, which one will she grab/save first.

If she let's both children run into the road, she shouldn't be a nanny in the first place! I think it's a weak arguement as if your Dc have playdates you could argue the same thing.

A proffessional nanny will be able to deal with all the children in her care, whether they are her employers or her own, equally and fairly.

I've seen childminders ignore and give dirty looks to the child that isn't theirs in scraps, pick their crying child up first at toddler group, it's all a bit
If you are paying somebody to look after your child you want their full attention IMO but I guess it depends on the nanny and your relationship with them.

Sorrento, I'm sorry you seem to have seen the worst side of childcarers who work with their own children.

It's the same as a nanny share though, isn't it? Runs on the same idea as sharing a nanny's time (and salary) with another family. If you hire a nanny who has their own child, you'll be paying her less than you would pay a nanny who doesn't bring her own child, so her time and attention would be divided equally between the two children, and quite rightly too.

If you want all the nanny's attention to be on your child, then pay the extra for the non-child-bringing nanny.

However, you'll find that good nannies and good childminders will treat all children equally. It's not just "a job", you know, and those of us with our own children are extremely grateful for the chance to take them along.

I don't think it is the same as a nanny share because there is the emotional attachment with your child which simply isn't the same with a mindee.

You're completely disregarding the fact that most nannies and childminders are caring professionals who would never show favouritism, and would never allow ANY child to run into the road, whether it's the family's child, their own child or Joe Bloggs down the road's kid who's happened to pop round for tea.

I'm a CM and have had 2 children cry etc. at the same time, one being mine, and the one I always see to first if the MINDEE and not my own child. I feel that is right as I'm paid to look after the other child! I agree with the other comments about nanny share keeping costs down and that a professional nanny/childminder would be able to manage the children in her care just fine otherwise shouldn't be in that job!

I am an nanny and take my 11month old DD with me, I look after a little girl who is 15 months and her brother who is at school. As Looney has said I always deal with their children first and yes at times I have felt guilty about it especially when my DD was quite ill (this is a big thing to think about! The family I work for have said they are happy for my to bring my DD if she is ill as theirs are likely to get it anyway it - but how ill is too ill? Even though she was really quite poorly I wasn't able to take time off etc and in the end my OH had to take time off to look after her - This is the only real problem we have had I think).

The family brought a double buggy on ebay and got one of the ikea highchairs (£14 and fantastic, we use one at home too!). My DD sleeps in a travelcot in their spare room and I provided the monitors.

All in all it does work well, although I think the key is for the children to be close in age! Also I was on maternity leave and met the family 3 months before I started so I saw the children a couple of times each week for picnics/toddler/music groups etc, which helped me to get to know the children, mum, their routines etc and also for the mum to see how I would deal with various situations!

I am also ofsted registered (paid for by the family!) which enables them to pay using the childcare vouchers!

I also wanted to say that all the childminders I have ever met (as a nanny and as a teacher with children in the class being picked up/dropped off by CM) I have never ever seen any children being favoured over others. They are professionals and deserve a lot of respect for all the hardwork they do. They work a lot harder than I do as a nanny, as they take wonderful care of children all day, have a great time with them and then when everyone has gone home have almost as much paperwork to do as teachers do! At least as a teacher I got half a day of non-contact time a week for PPA (planning, prep and assessment) and holidays, but CM don't get paid for their time!

Sorry for rant, but I hate seeing CM being put down when it seems a small minority are letting the side down so to speak!

Good luck sorting your childcare out