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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Childminder leaving dd with someone else?

19 replies

ilovegreenbeans · 23/04/2009 16:32

I'd like to get some views on whether or not this is acceptable.

DD is 1. Goes to CM part-time. CM has grown up daughter and infant GS who come round every day. DD and GS play really well together and the daughter is a nice girl. CM also has 2 school-age DDs. We are happy with her care and she's settled in really well.

However, she made a comment to DH the other day (he drops her off) suggesting that she sometimes leaves DD with her daughter if she needs to nip out. When he asked her what she meant and how often this happens she says she only does it if it's in DD's best interest (ie. DD is still napping and she needs to do the school run), but she will stop if we ask her to.

I think we will ask her to stop because I don't really feel comfortable with it, and I worry that it goes against our contract, her insurance, and it's outside what we agreed on. I think I might feel different if she'd asked first, but I'm not even sure about that. I do really like the CM though.

Is this normal? Would you be ok with it? I guess I'm just trying to figure out if it's a big deal or not. Thanks!

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MmeLindt · 23/04/2009 16:34

I don't know about the insurance part of it, but I would not be bothered about her leaving my DC with her daughter if it was to ensure that a sleeping child need not be wakened for the school run. If she was going to the hairdresser or out with friends for coffee then it would be a different story.

silverfrog · 23/04/2009 16:36

hmm, a tricky one.

you say you like theCM (and presumably are ok with her daughter too?) but this was not something agreed on beforehand.

If it were me, i'd feel a little as thought the rug had been pulled out form under me - on the one hand, there is nothing to mind in what is happening, but then again, does it have further implications? would your CM leave your dd in the care of, say, a trusted neighbour if she was still napping? or another relative? I would forever be wondering this if it were me.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 23/04/2009 16:36

I wouldn't have a problem with it to be honest. I'd rather she did that than wake my DD up.

QOD · 23/04/2009 16:42

I don't know, my cm used to leave my dd home with her husband while she went shopping etc, all well and good, lovely bloke, but he used to shout at the little boy there who was really naughty.
DD started getting hysterical on days she was to go there and so we ended it early and put her into nursery more.
It did pee me off to be honest, I paid HER not her husband to look after dd.

HSMM · 23/04/2009 16:43

I am a CM and I wouldn't do it. If you are not happy about it, she has given you the option of saying so. A bit that she didn't agree this with you in advance, in which case you may have all been happy with it. You will probably also get a batch of comments about insurance, contracts, Ofsted, First Aid Training, etc.

DontlookatmeImshy · 23/04/2009 16:57

How old is the daughter. Is she CRB checked. She may not be if she doesn't live with the childminder. If not asaik she shouldn't be leaving your dd with her at all.

Like you say, it might be different if she had asked beforehand and you had agree it was ok, but i would be mightily peed off about it if i was you. I am a CM and would never leave a mindee with someone without checking with the parents first and even then it would have to be an urgent/emergency situation. School run doesn't fit that catagory.

Numberfour · 23/04/2009 17:03

I would definitely not leave a child in my care asleep so that i can go on the school run even if my CRB checked DH was at home! i am a childminder and my minded children must be with me.

I did ask parents permission to leave the children in the car when DH drove me on the school run when it snowed so badly in Feb and i was nervous about driving on the ice.

No, i would not be happy with that.

I second HSMM re insurance, first aid, ofsted, contractual agreemnet etc.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/04/2009 17:12

i think the cm is wrong to do this in withguards to a legal/safety - you pay her to look after your child - not for her to leave them with someone else, and more to the point is her daughter insured/ofsted registerd?

if not, then the cm may and should imo lose her license or at least get a warning for obviously not sticking to the law

and esp without checking/asking you 1st

i see and understand what she means, and as a nanny, i have left my charges with a friend (ob with mb knowledge)

the way my mb sees it, is that she knows and trusts me, therefore she trusts my judgement, but a nanny is very different from a cm

mawbroon · 23/04/2009 17:24

My registration certificate states that

"Minded children cannot be cared for by persons other than by those named on the certificate."

I don't think it could be any clearer.

I am Scotland and regulated by the Care Commission, but I don't think that Ofsted would be so wildly different.

CarGirl · 23/04/2009 17:26

Perhaps you should suggest that her daughter registers as her assistant?

TheOtherMaryPoppinsDiets · 23/04/2009 17:28

If she wants to do this she could get her registered as her assistant - how it is now is in breach of her registration

thebody · 23/04/2009 18:20

wrong on all levels imo.. you pay her to look after your child, i have two teens and wouldnt dream of doing this.. puts all at risk including her own daughter.. what if something happened, car broke down or sudden illness of her grown daughter or your child.. and she should have asked you first anyway... suspect..

ThePrisoner · 23/04/2009 18:25

It is my understanding that a CM can leave a minded child with a registered assistant, but should have written parental permission to do so. My husband and daughters are registered as assistants (purely to cover for emergency situations), and are named on my certificate.

I think your CM has been very unprofessional in doing this without even discussing it with you, and it is something you certainly need to raise with her. Doing something like that in an emergency situation is one thing, but this is not an emergency situation.

underpaidandoverworked · 23/04/2009 19:20

I had a situation a few weeks back where mindees parent turned up early - I was still on nursery run for another school - and left dc with my daughter . Yes she is an adult and crb checked but I wasn't happy about that and mentioned it to parents, outlining the reasons why.

I have a policy and permissions form that names dd and dp as emergency carers if I take ill and can't look after child, but would never, ever leave a child with anyone unless it had been agreed previously with a parent - and only in exceptional circumstances - and the person I was leaving them with had a full crb check.

Even if her daughter doesn't live with her she must by law have a full crb check done if she frequently - or daily - visits the setting while mindees are on the premises.

IheartNY · 23/04/2009 19:23

I wouldnt mind personally. Only if DC is asleep though, I'd rather he was able to sleep on than be disturbed just for a school run.

thebody · 23/04/2009 19:34

I understand the point that child may be asleepbut its like everything nowdays, you have to look at all the possibilities, child wakes up while you are on the school run and gets injured or is taken ill. Your car breaks down or you are stuck in major traffic. and at the end of the day the parents pay the cm to have the care of the child and not someone else..
If a child is THAT tired then they will sleep on anyway in the buggy or car.

Original poster

ilovegreenbeans · 23/04/2009 20:05

Thanks everyone- sorry for going missing, but had to go get DD!

DH and I have discussed it and decided that we want DD to only be in the CM's care while we're at work, and that she (DD) can be flexible to fit it with the school run, etc...

Really helpful to hear all the opinions and experiences though. Will speak to CM tomorrow.

OP posts:

hellywobs · 24/04/2009 13:01

I think there is a problem with insurance etc. And you pay the CM, not her daughter. If there were an emergency and she had to take a child to hospital that would be different, but even then there should be a policy to say what happens in an emergency - my CM uses her mother and two other CMs (or would use, not sure it's ever happened).

But as for the CRB checks - all that they show is that someone has not been caught. They are useless and parents should not rely on them. They are there as a tick box exercise nothing more. You leave your kids with people you trust, not people who've been CRB-checked. The law really is an ass on that one and Ian Huntley has a lot to answer for - not just those two girls but all the upset and hurt he caused with CRB checks (and soon the whole Independent Safeguarding Authority fiasco).

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/04/2009 13:24

very true about crb's - they really arent worth the paper they are written on

as you quite rightly said - it just means they havent been caught for anything

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