Quick Moan: Families with Nannies - How many nannies have you had?! (Longish)

[WantManualForKids]

Am getting so tired and fed up with people pretending they know how to be a Nanny. and

Rambling background...

OK, so when DP & I decided we would both work after DC1 was born and find a nanny, we naively hoped to interview like mad, be completely taken with one candidate, and retain her as our nanny until DCs no longer needed that level of care. We must have been doing something seriously wrong for the last 6 years because we are in the verge of looking for Nanny Number SIX. We are so sad, not to mention p*ssed off. It just not what we wanted for our DCs. Admittedly we made one recruitment error that could have been avoided with Nanny Number 4, but let's skip over that nasty bitch episode.

We are nice people. Honestly! The kids are lovely and I can't bear the thought of them not being looked after they way they deserve to be. The salaries we offer are decent, plus a bunch of extras & a bonus.

The one Mary Poppins-Eat-Your-Heart-Out nanny we did have could not come with us when we moved to a different country in 2007 - despite our begging! She is still in regular contact with the kids and says she will drop everything to work with us again if we go back to the UK.

So, are we the only ones that suffer like this? (If the kids were much younger and just needed their a*ses wiped & to be fed, that's easy, but as they grow up they also need behavioural & developmental guidance, and it is this skill that is seriously lacking in so many nannies that we have interviewed)

Nannies: Please don't flame me! So many of you would probably be exactly what we are looking for... we just don't seem able to find what we want. We look for NNEB/equivalent, 5yrs+ sole charge experience and sound references. It just doesn't seem to be enough.

Rant Over

Sure - I will compromise on almost any aspect except the ability to understand how childrens' minds work - which comes with experience as well as instinct, also to be composed, and generally to act almost as we would while we looking after them. I reckon it should be a breeze for some nannies. (My son can be a handful sometimes, but nothing too abnormal for his age)

I am flying a couple of candidates out from UK for interviews and to show them around town, plus one possible candidate from Sweden, so with a bit of luck one of them will be an clear winner

We're based in Switzerland.

Oo, Switzerland, nice

Just curious, how o you guys count experience? I'm leaving my job between Dec 09 and Apr 10 (Moving onto other jobs with the boyfriend O_O unless my family would need a childcare/DIY/Gardening couple by then fingers crossed lol) and by then I'd have had a year and a bits worth of nannying experience, but various experience over the course of 3/4 years in nannying/school/nursery/camp settings. So would I say one years experience or include the time I've had outside of nannying? confused

I guess it depends on the parent, but I tend to consider sole charge experience in one box and broader childcare experience in another. Babysitting during your teens, then perhaps working in a nursery or as an au pair is all good & valuable, but for me, they do not count 'year-for-year' as much as being a sole charge nanny.

In your case, I would expect to see something like "4 years childcare experience, inlcuding 1 year as private nanny"

not sure if that helps very much!

Hm... I'm trying to get an AP job with my partner next year so I can only put down amount of years (on the ap websites), otherwise I would split it into Early Years classroom/nursery/nanny/instructoras you say. But I go into that in my profile obviously, it's just a first glance thing! I want to look good a first glance without making it seem ott haha

i have nannied for 4 families

family 1 i was there only nanny and stayed nearly 5 years (til youngest at school)

family 2 were lovely... i was there 1st nanny. stayed 4 months (felt awful leaving but family 3 were closer to my home offering a lot more pay for less hours so i had to move).... family 2 were so sad to loose me they waited 2 years before replacing me with nanny 2, who as far as im aware they still have

family 3. I was there 2nd nanny... 1st lasted just over a month but was so unreliable they gave up.. i stayed with them til kids started school

now on family 4. am there 2nd nanny (as they moved house to a diff area)...have been there nearly 3 years and have every intention of staying until the youngest starts school.

I've nannied for 5 families.My first 4 I didnt end up staying in long.

Family 1-stayed 13mths.Not a nice family.dont know how i stayed there so long

family 2-stayed 6mths.It was just a 6mth temp job.

Family 3-stayed 10mths.Had to leave when visa expired

Family 4-stayed 13mths.Left as I wanted to come back to the u.k

Now on family 5 and have been here 3.5yrs and want to stay until youngest starts fulltime school

I am currently the 11th nanny in 13 years for the fmily I work for.

My first few families I also didn't stay very long. My first moved back to Norway, then I did a summer of temp jobs before uni, then another temp job the next summer, then I had a brilliant family who moved away and I couldn't go with them because I had to finish my degree, then I temped and I've been with my current family 7 months but I'll probably leave in September because there's only one and he's off to FT school so I'm not really needed. They've said they'll keep me (on my current conditions) if I want, and I'm really tempted, but I'm worried I'll be bored and a bored nanny isn't very good for any child - so they're probably going for an American or English AP and I'm looking for another lovely Parisian family to have me!

jeffa 11 nannies in 13years - tbh that would put me off

what makes a job so bad that nannies only stay a year or so

Only read the OP.

WantManualforKids - are you me???

I could have and in fact have written your post in the past!!!

I too ( 12 years ago here) naively thought we'd find "the one" and she'd stay until we no longer needed nannies. When she gave notice after 19 months as she was herself pregnant and no longer wanted to work I sobbed and sobbed. Even tried asking her back after the birth - paid a shed load of maternity pay ( after persuading her tostay - she wanted to leave at 3 months pregnant) - and she returned with her litle boy in tow.Needless to say it didn't work. I was devastated and heartbroken .

after that we have had a succession of nannies. Some great - some not so. But all average only a year or so max. I now think its the nature of the game.

Tbh I think if you really want a career nanny who will stay the course ( like 5 or so years) you really have to make it a career path for them - regular salary increases beyond what we did ( we did £30 or so ebery 6 months) and reviews, large salaries to start with ( Im' in london suburb and think to find and keep the right person you need upwarsd of £400 per week after tax ) and plus gym/car. In other words make it very very attractive.

its out of most parents reach to do that but that is really what is needed in my very humble opinion.

Things may work out for you WMFK, but in my experience the housekeeper-nanny idea is actually the most difficult to make work. Either the person is a super-efficient household manager (and children are just a source of irritating muddy footprints etc.) or they are a lovely child-centred person (and the domestic admin slides). Looking for a double win in one person makes an already tough search even harder - in my experience.

If you can offer all that marvellous live-in stuff, why not find yourself an au pair plus - such as a trainee teacher? Or look for someone who only wants to work part-time, either local or live-in? Our solution, for the last nearly three years (dc are 8 and just 10), has been a fantastic Aussie ex-kindergarten teacher who actively didn't want a full-time job, but instead to combine an income with living in London & experiencing Europe.

blondeshavemorefun I've loved the family, and I love the job. The parents spent five years living aborad and moving round continually. They had a seven nannies over this period as none were happy to move with them as never sure where would be going(was Eastern Europe in late 90s).
Since returning to UK have had a nanny partime whilst eldest child at school. When mum became pregnant and had second child they wanted full time nanny, but current one only wanted to work part time.
Year before me they the daugher of a friend from Hungary having role of Au pair. She left in the August, I came in the Septmember and have been with them for 3.5 years.

I agree with what previous posters have said about your children now being past the "long term nanny" stage, and that the nanny-housekeeper role is hard to make work.

I think one thing to bear in mind is that lots of nannies are in their twenties. This is an age where lots of people, regardless of their profession, move area, want to work abroad, go back to study, get pregnant and change jobs every 1, 2, 3 years. I knew this was the case for me, and in the last 4/5 years I've worked for 8 families I think. All of my positions have been temp/fixed term contracts from 6 weeks to 12 months, so we've known going in what the length of commitment is, and I've never quit a nanny job. I've worked in three countries and started a degree in that time. My current position is the first one I've said from the start I want to stay longterm, and hopefully I'll be here til the youngest is in school.

Nanny 1 - stayed for three years, loved her, she married and moved to Italy, we moved countries.

Nanny 2 - lasted two years, lost interest in the job, became cruel to children and we sacked her.

Nanny 3 - lasted a year, decided childcare wasn't for her and decided to go to uni.

Nanny 4 - lasted two years, went on to fab new job when we no longer needed her.

Still in contact with numbers 1, 3 and 4.

2 in 3 years. 1st one-mutual agreement as we moved from Sarf London to the sticks (but delayed our move until DS was 2 as she was so lovely) 2nd one had had one nanny job before us and previous to that worked as a deputy manager at a nursery then got offered job as a nursery manager so resigned. Still a bit bamboozled by that one as hoped that she would be 'the one' to stay on at least til DD (9 months) started school. It's all so stressful and I actually cannot face finding a new nanny right now-DS just about to start school in September so I have twisted my mums arm to do it for 6 months to delay the inevitable until January next year when he will have had one term to settle in to reception

And the actual answer, come to think, is 7 in almost 10 years, though 6+ of those years have been just two of them. Details:

1 - only had 9 months left on her visa (sob; loved her). Went to Switzerland , stayed with family there for at least 3 years, maybe more . Now a mum in Aus. Lovely person, friend of family #1

2 - 3-day mistake. Was an hour and a half late on her first morning. Went downhill from there. Agreed she would go; she went

3 - hired in a flurry because mess-up with no.2 left no time. Was fine but no world-light-up. Stayed 10 months till pre-agreed end time. Her jobs after us did not, I think, go well - we had been very accommodating

4 - with us for 3 and a half years, friend of family #2. Lives nearby and sees the children often

5 - Housekeeper-Nanny. Not a success. She quit after 9 or 10 months

6 - just over a year, I think? Moved out of London

7 - current darling person, coming up for 3 years. Will be friend of family #3.