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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Have you got/had a male au pair?

38 replies

LotsOfLovelyShoes · 20/04/2009 22:20

I am looking for one to help out when I go back to work and am drawn to some of the male au pairs from the states.

Just wondering if there will be less tension than I had with our previous european female au pair and also kids are now all aged over 8 and could benefit from a more active kind of childcare....(last au pair was totally un motivated with kids and treated her stay purely as a chance to improve her English)

Could be kind of cool?

Or a complete disaster?

Any feedback appreciated....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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nannynick · 20/04/2009 22:38

Could work, especially if you have boys (though actually I find girls like being looked after by a bloke as well sometimes).

Can I query which country you are in... as if you are in the UK you can't have someone come from the US - see Youth Mobility Scheme

PixiNanny · 21/04/2009 00:08

I think if you are looking for active au pairs it may be an idea. There are active ladies about (Like me! Haha) but we are far and few between! Dependant on activity of course. I'm a watersports girl myself

I wish there were more people willing to accept male au pairs and couples, because many families advertise that they accept couples, they don't

And if you go for a guy then that'll be one extra job on the market for them!

Original poster

LotsOfLovelyShoes · 21/04/2009 08:01

we are in the UK.

do I understand right that the Youth Mobility Scheme has replaced the Au Pair status when entering the UK? What a shame that the States is not included. The au pair I had my eye on was a real outdoors summer camp kind of guy.....

OP posts:

Squiffy · 21/04/2009 09:09

I have a Spanish AP and he is by far the best AP I have ever had. He's been her 6 months, staying another 6 months at least. He is very good natured (no moping round the house, dreaming of winning the X factor). He is out running every day, comes home and plays with kids in garden and takes them swimming. Boundless energy and always cheerful. And he gets on as well with my DD (2.5) as he does with my DS(5.5)

Admittedly, the ironing skills aren't the best...

I will never have a female again - there are fewer openings for male AP's so you can pick and choose and get exactly what you want, instead of compromising on X, Y and Z. Ours is a 25yr old Uni grad from a family where mum is a GP and dad a company director so he 'gets' the work ethic and has lots of same values that we have (ref healthy food, excercise, etc), totally different from the limp pasty girl I had before who miserably wafted round the house sucking out the energy like some housetrained dementor...

SteveHarris · 21/04/2009 09:50

Squiffy I like your comments. LotsOfLovelyShoes I am a 24 year old male from Aylesbury, my mother has run a childminding business in our home when I was 3. From the age of 10 I helped her out with the business and also did babysitting in the evening from many of the children. My father also now runs the business with my Mum. I have no qualifications but do have a CRB check as I worked in America at a childrens camp in 2006. I was there for 3 months and was a camp counceller looking after a cabin of children. Would you be interested in someone like me? Are you in the London area?

Original poster

LotsOfLovelyShoes · 21/04/2009 09:56

Squiffy - you have inspired me...just need to persuade DH! Couldn't agree more with you on our last (and only) au pair who was pleasant enough but looked so sulky and scuffed her feet around the house and generally seemed disinterested in everything....I have a feeling that a male au pair would not be afraid to drive the car out of third gear and have a bit of fun, plus actually DO something in his spare time!!

Steve - lovely to hear from a male au pair (you sound British?). I am quite a long way from London I am afraid...are you going to want to work for £65 a week?

OP posts:

SteveHarris · 21/04/2009 10:35

LotsOfLovelyShoes - I am sorry I am so far away, would have been good to help out.

I have more questions since new to this site, what's with all the abbreviations? DD, DH etc

AtheneNoctua · 21/04/2009 10:53

Hi Steve, this is sort of a radical subject change, but can I ask what camp you worked at? Just being nosey really. I am American, live in Greater London, but am considering shipping kids out to America for camp in a few years. Bit soon as DS (Dear Son) is only almost 4. But, something I'm considering so would be interested in your view of wherever you worked.

AtheneNoctua · 21/04/2009 10:54

Acronym List

SteveHarris · 21/04/2009 11:51

AtheneNoctua - I would defiantly consider shipping them out lol. I was 21 when I went there had never done anything like it before in my life. The camp was the South Shore YMCA camp in Sandwich Massachusetts on the Cape www.ssymca.org/default.aspx. I miss it so much, it was the best decision of my life. The camp is about 30 mins from Boston situated in the lovely town of Sandwich. The camp is split into 2, camp Burgess for boys and Hayward for girls. The 2 camps are separated by a massive lake which the children can play in, canoe, kayak, make rafts etc. During the day the children mix together but at night it's girls in the girls side and boys on the boys. I would be here all day if I went into what happened each day but I would definitely send my children there without a doubt, I promise you they'll have the best time of their life. There is so much for them to do and so many new friends just waiting to be made. I am still in contact with the people I worked with out there, I now have friends in each corner of the globe thanks to the camp. If you want to know anything else feel free to ask. Makes me feel home sick just talking about it lol. I have never been back since as my girlfriend is studying in London so I am now here with her. Me and her after her degree are thinking of going back to a camp to work, this is the camp I would go back to, I have had friends who have been to others but from their stories they don't sound half as good as my camp.

PixiNanny · 21/04/2009 13:01

I must say, the fewer job spots for male APs would likely mean that those who are going for it really want it, if that makes sense? That's my assumption anyways!

and lol at the ironing skills hehe

I feel boring now, I don't do anything in my spare time in the eveings, just skulk around the house watching telly or playing on the PC with the kids scratches head sheepishly but if I could drive, it'd be a whole other matter I can't wait to pass so I can join the local kayaking club and go to the nearest big town to find some spinners hehe

I'm curous as to how you found the American Camps too? Me and my partner have worked for one of the British ones and though he wants to avoid american camps, I'm really interested and a friend of mine has been working in them for years and is telling me it's the best time he's had! I loved working for PGL so I can't wait to get instructing again and America seems like a good option at the moment!

And an amazingly important question regarding camps: How was the food? :p
In all seriousness: were the activity ranges good? Could you work on qualifications whilst out there? (That's the main one for me and partner!)
How was the pay? How did the evenings work in regards to the kids and adults (like night duties, staying near their rooms, etc)? Did you have one set job or could you switch between them (like we were all Group Leader/Instructors so could technicaly do both, but usually you'd have certain people doing certain activities)?

AtheneNoctua · 21/04/2009 13:25

Steve, I take it you were councilor at the overnight camp. I went to few overnight cmamps as a kid. My favourite was Sanborn - High Trails. But, I am thinking that if they are going to get on a plane from London (and we are going to go visit half way through the 4 or 5 week term) that the East Coast might be a bit more convenient. Although, I do love Colorado. Nothing really quite like a horseback 3 or 4 day trail ride in the mountains. You just can't get that out East. Oh God, I too am getting all sentimental about this. I wish I could go back to camp. There doesn't really seem to be anything comparable over here in the UK.

Original poster

LotsOfLovelyShoes · 21/04/2009 13:46

this is a real eye opener! Can I really send my kids out to the States to go to a summer camp? For the whole summer or a few weeks at a time? Sounds completely fab!!!! How old do they have to be? Obivously I would take them there I guess....

OP posts:

Original poster

LotsOfLovelyShoes · 21/04/2009 13:48

DH now firmly persuaded that male au pair is a brilliant idea! Thanks you lot, sorry Steve, could have been good.

ps Steve, don't know if you are using your real life (RL) name but not many people on here do that....we all tend to like our anonymity (sp?), up to you!

OP posts:

Amapoleon · 21/04/2009 13:53

I used to teach a lovely Turkish male au pair. He used to look after a little boy. He was absolutely fantastic, kins, patient, gentle. I would have definitely let him look after my kids.

ingles2 · 21/04/2009 13:58

lovely shoes. I had a MAP for a summer a few years back. It was an unmitigated disaster unfortunately. That's not strictly true, he was a lovely German boy but completely useless around the house and had very little sense of responsibility. As I have 2 active boys I was hoping for someone to play football with them etc, but MAP wasn't that kind of boy. IMO he was gay but hadn't come to terms with his sexuality and spent the entire summer sunbathing, reading Heat magazine and getting dressed!
We live in the middle of nowhere, he changed his outfit 3 or 4 times a day bless him!
It was extremely hard work and was definitely a 3 child. I had to teach him everything from washing his clothes to making some toast. I think he had a good experience, he emailed me when he returned home to say how impressed his mum was with his new skills...I on other hand was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

AtheneNoctua · 21/04/2009 14:21

Yes lovely shoes, you can. It will cost a good few shekels. The Amican summer is longer than the British summer break. Generally, the second camp session coincides with the whole UK summer break. I totally agree with Steve that it is a fabulous experience -- one I would not wish my kids to go without. Unfotunately I sort of dotted around various camps and so never really made those life long bonds by seeing the same kids year after year. But, oddly, there was a girl who appeared at two of the camps aI went to, and another one I ran into at Uni. It is such a small world! hmmm... I wonder where they are now. Bet I could find them on facebook.

SteveHarris · 21/04/2009 14:40

Well I have also been to a PGL camp my parents sent me and my Brother there years ago when they went away for the weekend. Compared to American camps PGL doesn't even compare. The American camps are so grand and the settings are out of this world, even the councillors and leaders are far better in the States than here.

I'll answer the questions now: The food was typical American food, pancakes for breakfast, pizza for lunch and big dinners but all the food is placed out so you help yourself. They also have healthy alternatives and a salad bar (well the camp I was at did) I lost over 2 stone in 9 weeks when I went as just ate cereal for breakfast then salad for lunch and dinner lol. I am not sure about gaining qualifications though. I went with Camp America and the pay was not good, very poor but I met people out there who went with Camp Leaders and they were getting double what I was getting paid. The evenings after dinner there would be a massive camp activity where we would all play hide and seek etc then there would be one counsellor/leader in each cabin for the night whilst the other one got the night off. Job wise when I went for my interview you have to tell them about what skills you have so since I was in Drama classes etc I then taught the children drama and we put on a play after the last camp session. The different activities there are endless and each day changes. If I were you I would definitely give America a go.

Yes I was a councillor and loved every minute of it. I was also asked to stay on for the extended camp which was another 2 weeks after the main camp season ended but I did maintenance for that session, cutting grass, mending things etc. I know I would love to visit a camp somewhere else in the States but the Camp Cod one will always be special to me and I'll be scared nothing will match it. Horseback riding in the mountains does sound amazing. God I love America, I also went travelling for a month after camp with my family and we were kayaking in New Hampshire which was just amazing! You really can't get anything over here like you can in America.

PixiNanny · 21/04/2009 15:08

Damn you, you are confiring my better suspicions! My boyfriend's best mate has a house in America so his excuse not to work in America is that he can visit whenever he likes, and he's been there loads before and all over I will have to convince him if we end up going back to instructing! I've always wanted a stint in America and regret not going to Camp America to work the first time, my friend worked at Camp America too, so what I've heard about it does make me want to go more haha

Though, is it true that you share a room with the kids?

SteveHarris · 21/04/2009 15:27

Though, is it true that you share a room with the kids?

Yes lol. I wasn't best pleased with this at first but you get used to it, it's not fun having to wake the children in the morning especially when you get the older children. It was good though, like I said you get used to it and enjoy it. When I did my maintenance stint I was in a cabin with fellow workers and no children.

AtheneNoctua · 21/04/2009 15:49

Isn't that the whole point of camp? One for all and all for one. Beside you have to keep those pesky pre teens from sneakin gover to the boys camp in the middle of the night.

SteveHarris · 21/04/2009 16:02

You really do have to stop them sneeking out lol, they do try. The only contact/communication they get in the evening with the otherside is by shouting messages over the lake during camp fire.

AtheneNoctua · 21/04/2009 16:12

oh, and s'mores. God I could do with a s'more right now. mmmmmmmm

SteveHarris · 21/04/2009 16:17

I was not a smore fan, I really didnt like them lol.

PixiNanny · 21/04/2009 16:51

That's the bit that puts me off. I had night duty at PGL which worked well enough, I don't feel good with the idea of sharing a room with them though :/ In fact, I'd feel extremely uncomfortable, because I'm so used to the two staff members at all times if near kids rooms, no going inside unless it's important and then at least one person keeping a watch on things. It just seems wrong to me, do they dress before you get there?

I do remember chasing the teens about though, two of us at 2am in the woods with no torch because the office couldn't be bothered to come down and give us one against a group of ten teens causing mayhem in the woods and the rest of the teenage indies causing mayhem in the cabins haha

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