Nanny vs nursery

[lobsters]

I've just being doing some maths about returning to work, although I don't go back for 6 months, when DD will be 9 months.

My choices are to work 4 days over 5 (9-3 or 10-4) everyday and send DD to nursery full time, but the shorter hours allow my to either drop off or pick up, and if 10-4 do both. I have a long commute, DH works near home and proposed nurseries, but can do international travel at short notice, hence needing to be able to do pick up and drop off. I just worry it will be a long day for DD as she will be in nursery 8 til 5 or 6 5 days a week.

The other option is to go back to work full time, and get a nanny full time, I would request to work at home one day a week. I worry that I wouldn't really get to see DD much during the week. It might be less tiring for DD being at home, but will she get lonely and miss out on interaction with no other children around? I guess one way round it is to get a nanny who is looking after their won child.

Any thoughts on pros and cons?

Look for a nanny share with another local family.

The nanny would take your DD to activities though, she would get to see other babies there. I've always made sure the babies I've looked after have spent time around other babies AND older children.

I'm an advocate of having a nanny with their own child, because I am one who is looking for work in the summer when my own DD will be 7 months old. I'm cheaper than I used to be when I didn't have a child, because I'm saving myself money by not paying for childcare AND you get your DD looked after in your own home.

Sorry, that sounds like I'm advertising myself, I am just talking generally of course.

Unless you're in the North East?!!

I am a nanny and nursery nurse, and if you can afford it I would go for a nanny every time! Nurseries are just not suitable environments for babies, and it is really hard to do group care for the under twos well. The whole "other children for company" thing only gets important when they're 2-3 years old tbh - little ones just want an adult to be responsive to their needs.

If you're worried about the social thing, definitely look for a nanny with a similar aged child or a nanny share. But don't worry about your DD being lonely, she won't be. She'll sleep better in her own home, you can control what she eats, and she'll have one-to-one attention.

Why not a childminder?

many children go to nursery and are there 8-6 and are fine

as a nanny i would say have a nanny rather than a cm or nursery but there is no reason why you can use a cm and pay for her place and then not use the extra hours if you want to spend some time with your child - just the same as you can employ a full time nanny, and then one day a week get her to come in at 10 or leave at 5pm

most nannies, including myself are very socaible and will be out swimming/M&T, gymbabes, meeting nannies etc so if anything having a nanny would be more soaciable then being in a nursery

working from home is fine,just as long as you dont interfer with the nannys routine (obv you are mummy) but it is much harder on the child to have a parent wander in and out when the nanny is trying to look after them/get them to eat etc

Definately worth looking at local child minders

lobsters, I have used ft nursery for my dcs since they were 17 and 11 months respectively. Also know their friends who have been in ft nursery since 6 months. I can't say that they have been anything other than happily settled in there.

Do visit the nursery and check out the staff and surroundings. Ask questions, particularly if you know other parents who use it. You must have a gut feeling that you would feel safe to leave your dd there.

Your 9 month-old will really start to enjoy the buzz of a nursery and other children once she turns 1.

My current work arrangement is reduced hours, very similar to your first option of 4 days over 5. I like it a lot. Now that my dd is 5, I am home in time to help her with homework. So it is one, I feel, which works long term.

I would recommend a nursery only if you have the first work arrangement. If you work ft, particularly jobs that require you to stay late at short notice, you will need the flexibility of a nanny and freedom from the tyranny of a nursery run.

I personally prefer nursery simply because it is less dependent on just one person, there are more hands to hold your dd, lots happening, little friendships to form, great toys and food. Mostly, I am also concerned about what happens behind closed doors with a non-verbal child. I feel a nursery offers more checks and balances and an open environment with an institutional ethos and accountability. That is not to say that there are a lot of extremely loving and dedicated nannies out there, which you will have to learn to spot in the hiring process. But I just like that extra security that a good nursery offers.

It's a tough choice leaving your LO with anyone....

Some other benefits of a nanny....(some may seem a long way off, but trust me, the time goes quickly!!) and no offence meant to nurseries or CM's!!

• DS/DD can 'go' places - (the places blondeshavemorefun said) plus kids farms, playzones, the park/beach, out for picnics, fun days out etc

• DS/DD are able to 'be at home' with their own toys, animals, garden, bed etc

• DS/DD are able to do things earlier such as art, baking, gardening etc (difficult at a nursery with the 1:1 ratio required when they are very small)

• DS/DD can go to local nursery when ready

You get the additional benefits of

• Not having to get them dressed and out of the house in the morning (you only have to sort yourself out and go!)

• When you get home (depending on the time of course) they have had their dinner, their bath and are ready for bed (you get all the cuddles and none of the hassle of picking up a tired child from nursery)

• When they aren't well the Nanny will look after them (can't take them into a nursery or to some CM's), can have quiet time at home and nanny will take them to the Dr's etc if required

• Not quite such a panic if you are running late, so long as you make it up to your nanny and don't make a habit of it!!

• A (good) Nanny will do Nursery Duties - childrens washing and ironing, sort out clothes (what fits what doesn't etc), meals and most (good) nannies do all kinds of little bits that just make life run more smoothly...