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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Help! We are at our wits end

25 replies

AdelaideJo · 07/04/2009 20:46

Have a 1 year old DS, and live in London. My DP and I are both healthcare profs, and we work REALLY annoyingly anti-social hours. Since I had the baby, we have had to have a bizarre job sharing type thing going on where I work 2 days per week and he works 3. This is because no Nursery within a thousand mile radius opens before 0730 and we have to be in work at around that time (or at least nearing the door). We also finish when the patient's operation finishes, that is to say; hours mean't to be 8am - 5pm. Realistically, hours more like 0740 - 5.45pm. Then factor in the 1.5/2 hour journey home from wherever in London we happen to be (we are Locums).

Soooo (deep breath, if you managed to get this far) we are now at the point where we just can't afford to live here and pay our mortgage anymore. We desperately BOTH need to work at the same time, at least one or two days per week. But who/where is going to care for my DS from about 6.30am until 7pm ? In my home preferably?

Help help help before I lose the plot (or we get any more in arrears :_(

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MuffinBaker · 07/04/2009 20:47

live in nanny

thisisyesterday · 07/04/2009 20:48

get a nanny?

stillenacht · 07/04/2009 20:49

what about a CM (if you are not Dr's and can't afford the nanny thing) some CM's do overnighters but only downside is that its at their house.

MaureenMLove · 07/04/2009 20:49

Well, I used to CM and my first arrived at 6.30 and my last left at 7pm. So all is not lost. You may have to do some ringing around, but you may find a CM that could do those hours for you. Phone your local council and thye'll give you the details. Alternatively, you need a nanny. I'm afraid I know nothing about how they work, but plenty of people on here do and I'm sure they'll see your thread.

BirdyArms · 07/04/2009 20:52

It's too much to ask a live out nanny to do 5 days a week but for a couple of days I think you'd find someone. Nannies seem to be quite badly hit by the recession and so people are probably willing to be flexible. If you can get childcare vouchers at work you can use them to pay a nanny making it slightly more affordable.

BradfordMum · 07/04/2009 21:09

A good flexible chixldminder is what you need.
I used to start at 5.50am for one mum who didn't drive and needed to get 2 buses and be at work for 7am, so please so not worry, make a few phone calls and I'm sure you'll find a wonderful childminder who will help.

Sally x x

Jeffa · 07/04/2009 21:12

I'm not sure if its possible, but I nannied during my second year similar hours to this...

6am-8.30am Get P ready for nursery, including breakfast etc

8.30-4.30 - I was in Uni or studying at home

4.30-7.30 collect P from nursery, give her tea and put her to bed.

I did this 3 days a week, and covered on the other two when parents had a meeting or needed to work.

I got paid £25 per day. Not sure how this fits with nursery fees you would have to pay as well. Both parents were doctors and we're in Birmingham

HTH

onepieceofcremeegg · 07/04/2009 21:13

I would suggest ringing the cms nearest to hospitals etc. My friend was a nurse when she was a lone mum with one pre schooler. It wasn't ideal but her cm would take her dd from 7am ish for early shifts. On late shifts the dd would stay until 10pm ish. Not brilliant obviously, but needs must.

Don't necessarily look at what they say on the paperwork re start and finish times, make enquiries. In my friend's case the cm couldn't work Tuesday but could do the odd hours on other days, so she just used to ask for Tuesday off or family would help out on Tuesdays.

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/04/2009 21:18

i knew a nanny who did 12.5hrs a day - same as yours 6.30am to 7pm

she was single and stayed for 2 years but got paid very well

so it is possible

otherwise if you have the space get a live in nanny, and hopefully your 1yr wont wake up till 7.30/8am like my 9mth does

willowthewispa · 07/04/2009 23:48

If you have a spare room, an au pair sounds like your best bet.

An au pair could do, for example, 7am-8am in the morning, drop off at nursery, 5.30pm nursery pick up and look after your DS til you get home (7pm?), and do a couple of hours light housework during the day.

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/04/2009 07:57

just remembered have another friend who mb and db leave at 5.45 - she lives in and they just switch on monitor as they leave

she works till 6/6.30

we all think she is insane as often her charge is awake then as she hears mb/db get up shower etc

SammyK · 08/04/2009 10:45

As a cm I did shift work for asingle parent prison warden. Some cms are very flexible, they are out there!

Or as already suggested a nursery and then a nanny or childcare student to wrap around before and after nursery in your own home.

Hope you find something that suits your family.

DadInsteadofMum · 08/04/2009 12:13

Willow - not sure AP would be appropriate for a 1 year old.

Creme Egg - as locums CMs near hospitals may not be an option as locums in London I am guessing they could be working at 6 different hospitals across a year.

CMs near home would appear to be the best option but then adds 1.5/2 hours at either end to the CM time required - hence the 12 hour day described by OP. Will work if you can find a sympathetic CM.

willowthewispa · 08/04/2009 12:45

Why not DIOM? It's only for a couple of hours either side of nursery. A ten hour day might be too much for an au pair, but most people should be able to do fine for a couple of hours a day.

DadInsteadofMum · 08/04/2009 13:09

Most APs are young girls (18-22) who childcare experience doesn't extend beyond babysitting or working on summer camps. Not sure I would trust them with one so young (or you would find one prepared to do nappies).

My AP is fantastic with my kids, but I wouldn't trust her to have sole care of one so young.

That said you might get lucky and find a trainess, nursery nurse or similar looking for 6-9 months travel, but they would be few and far between.

willowthewispa · 08/04/2009 13:18

I guess we're coming at this from different points of view, but I would expect most 18-22 year olds to be capable of changing a nappy and looking after a baby for a couple of hours. My teenage cousins could do that! There's an 18 year old girl at the nursery I work at in her first childcare job, and she changes 12 nappies a day.

JenniPenni · 08/04/2009 13:27

I am a CM in Greater London and work ridiculously long hours... specifically for my commuting parents (1-2hr commutes each way). We are out there, you just need to make some calls Good luck, hope you find someone soon!

pinkdelight · 08/04/2009 13:34

Depends whereabouts in London you live, but in a previous thread there was an air hostess with v anti-social hours and it turned out there were incredibly flexible nurseries near to the airports, so if you do happen to be close to Heathrow or the like, they could help. Sure you'll find someone to help anyhow, just might take a lot of ringing around.

DadInsteadofMum · 08/04/2009 13:44

You will find it on most au pair websites that "An au pair should not have sole care for a child under the age of two."

The girl at the nursery is working under supervision and no doubt training towards a qualification.

I wasn't commenting on the ability to change nappies more the desire, if faced with a choice of a job that involves nappies and one that doesn't (and the good au pairs - i.e.with relevant experience and references - always have a choice) which would you go for?

sleepyeyes · 08/04/2009 14:00

I would not recommend an au-pair in your situation as they have little experience and shouldn't work more than 5 hours, many do.

I would recommend a live-in nanny, they usually work longer hours and can be much more flexible. In London a nanny with only a few years experience may take on your position for around £220 per week providing you only want childcare and nursery duties.

I know quite a few nannies working for Doctors they usually are always live in.

sleepyeyes · 08/04/2009 14:03

Forgot to say one of my nanny positions I would start work at 6:30am and finish around 6/7pm and then babysit, it is possible to find someone to do these hours.

sleepyeyes · 08/04/2009 14:03

Forgot to say one of my nanny positions I would start work at 6:30am and finish around 6/7pm and then babysit, it is possible to find someone to do these hours.

Mtorun · 08/04/2009 14:21

Agree with DadInsteaadofmum "An au pair should not have sole care for a child under the age of two."

I think its best to get a live in nanny.

Supernanny19 · 08/04/2009 16:11

Im looking for a live in position from the middle of June.
If you would like to see my CV please contact me on [email protected]

KSquiff · 09/04/2009 15:11

I'm a CM in Bromley, Kent and my DH is a Police Officer so I am totally used to shifts and unsociable hours and don't mind doing them, early hours and late evenings. Depending on whereabouts you are looking you're more than welcome to contact me for a chat if you like?

Hope you find what you're looking for.

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