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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Help - i'm falling for my charges dad!

43 replies

LolaTheShowgirl · 07/04/2009 18:23

I used to nanny full time for a family before I changed my career. I now look after the children as and when of an evening I am required which is usually a few nights per week and often go along on family outings to theme parks etc at weekends. I'm really close to them all but something happened the other night before I left and I can't stop thinking about the dad.

Everyone was in bed except the dad and I. I was staying over there as I regularly do as it's too far to travel home late at night when buses and trains stop running. We were just sat (on the same sofa) watching tv and having a joke around and he leaned over and kissed me (just like in the movies). It felt amazing. The next morning I had to rush out before anyone was up (early start for work) but since then I have recieved texts from him saying how much he enjoyed the kiss and that he wanted that to happen for ages and he hopes this might be the start of something special. Now I can't stop thinking about him.

OP posts:

pointydog · 07/04/2009 19:05

Is the bloke's name Chris de burgh?

nannyL · 07/04/2009 19:08

i knoe a nanny who is happily married to her ex-boss

tragically the mum doed during child birth, leaving behind a new born with special needs and a 2 year old...

she was the live in nanny, and ended up becoming step mum to her dear charges...

the children are now about 8 and 10 and as far as i know still living as a happy family.

BradfordMum · 07/04/2009 19:19

Sounds very Mills and Boonish to me!

tomwill · 07/04/2009 19:32

Oh just go for it but do keep us posted on outcome!!!!

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/04/2009 19:57

VITAL bit of info you forgot to give us

was going to flame you but as single go for it

Julesnobrain · 07/04/2009 21:41

Hi a word of caution. Firstly - Getting into a relationship with someone with children is v hard so I would back off unless your sure its the real deal and worth it. Secondly - Is he the type of person you really like and more importantly vice versa..... the reason I ask is that men .. well they're in general lazy, if your 'on tap/easily available' (and I don't mean in a derogatory way, I mean easy physical location wise in the house, looking after his children) then what to you may be really special, to him may just be an easy convenience. sorry !.

coolj · 08/04/2009 10:41

You are both single, have feelings for each other, he can see you are good with the children(very important), respects and trusts you, what is the problem. You obviously have feelings for each other.

Its hard for single parents to meet new people as your life revolves around your children.

Go for it and good luck .

ABetaDad · 08/04/2009 10:50

Luckily I read very carefully all the way through the thread and got the VITAL bit of info.

BradfordMum - don't know about Mills & Boon but definitely is 'The Sound of Music' which is a true story.

I am a bit of a romatic so hoping it all works out. Nothing wrong in my view.

ilove · 08/04/2009 10:51

Go for it...but slowly!

nanny1974 · 08/04/2009 11:37

oh god no way.

compo · 08/04/2009 11:42

well if you are both slingle and if the feelings are strong then why not?

KristinaM · 08/04/2009 11:44

if thie doesnt work out will you loose your job?

LIZS · 08/04/2009 11:48

Lola isn't their ft childcarer anymore iirc, this is a more casual arrangement now but could ultimately cause upset for the kids if she suddenly stopped and lose her income (presumably)

PaulaMummyKnowsBest · 08/04/2009 12:07

my SIL once worked for a family.

The wife left as she was having an affair and my SIL stayed working as a nanny to the 2 girls, working for the dad.

After about a year, the dad and my SIL became close.....move on nearly 20 years and they are happily married and have a 16 year old and a 9 year old together.

It can work out but make sure things move slowly.

You also need to realise that if things don't work out, you'll lose the relationship that you currently have with the children.

Good luck with whatever you choose
xx

DadInsteadofMum · 08/04/2009 12:18

You are both single, you are both adults able to make your own decisions. The kids are not; so if this does go any further you would need to be very careful around them, nd no matter how careful you are they will pick up on it - how old are they?

No sure why some posters are so ready to give pariah status to single dads.

ScottishThistle · 11/04/2009 13:46

I have to say it's not something I would ever get myself caught up in, far too complicated.

If you must I would also advise you go very slowly and stop babysitting now. You'll then see if he's interested in making an effort to see you outwith his own home.

Simplyme · 11/04/2009 13:57

My mum was a nanny/housekeeper for my dad. He had 3 girls ages 8,9 and 11. Their mum had died from cancer.

To cut a long story short he married my mum then together they had me and my brother. My parents have been happily married 30 years this summer and have no regrets but it has not been a picnic.

My sisters have caused terrific problems in the family particularly for my mum. I'm just saying that it is not all sound of music there are major difficulties so if you do enter a relationship with him think it through very carefully and remember with young children involved you have to be extra sensitive to their needs

45nanny · 11/04/2009 17:09

I am due to marry my old boss soon . I nannied his child when his wife was alive and again when she passed away .
We have been living together for several years now. Its wonderful most of the time, but it can be very hard to deal with all the baggage , very complicated sometimes .
Tread carefully Lola, step away from the romance, date him outside the house and without the children, see if you have anything in common ,besides his children.
It can be too easy to just fall into a relationship,as other posters have said, you have far more to loose then he does.

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