Need advice on au pair agencies and au pairs

[sarahmuk]

My au pair has just informed me that she has to return to Spain at the end of May for exams, bearing in mind when i hired her through an agency I stressed that I needed an aupair who could stay till the end of July. This is my second au apir since Sept last year. The first girl was a nightmare and the agency offered me a free replacment. I find that when they arrive there great for the first few weeks and than the lazyness kicks in. I and my partner work fulltime in London and our 3 boys are in school full time. We are fair and pay a good wage for doing a school run and afterschool care, and hardly any babysiting as i'm too nackered to do anything by the time i get home. We also pay fo english classes plus the au pair is free while the boys are in school. I'm so confused as to what is the best solution as I have no famly here, a stressfull coprorate job, a current au pair who has managed to increase our shopping bill to £300pw (yes she eats alot)she has become lazy to the point I cleaned the boys rooms and changed their bedlinen today when I should have been working from home and she put on her makeup, she tried to hid the childrens clothes which needed ironing under our clothing for my cleaner and Ironing lady to do, any advice on a good agency who can supply girls who can stay for at leat 9/12 months I would appricate any feedack and advice. I have registered on Au pair world but not sure how good this site is.

I tink yo need an older au pair plus / nanny who will be more committed. Have you tried greataupair.com? Maybe someone who wants to take a break from uni to come improve her English?

I think au pairs tend to be less committed than nannies. Would yo consider getting a nanny, maybe one with own child to keep the cost down a bot?

Where are you? I think a few nannies on here are looking for work.

I think you have to accept that a young au pair girl is primarily here to learn a language/see a new country/experience a city rather than for a passionate love of school runs and ironing - they're going to need a reasonably high level of management and supervision.

The shopping bill sounds ridiculously high - can you not buy cheaper bulk items like pasta if she's hungry? I mean, are you spending hundreds on expensive fruit juice and cream cakes?

If she hadn't done her jobs (cleaning and bedlinen) why didn't you ask her to do them today instead of doing it yourself? Do you have a timetable for the aupair so she knows exactly what she should be doing when? Maybe you could use a chart for her to tick off each job as she completes it.

Regarding the shopping bil, I operate a list system. Partly to avoid the situation you are in but more so because I'm a bit of a control freak regarding what goes into my kids' mouths and figure if it doesn't make it to my kitchen cupboard/fridge, it wan't make it's way to their mouths.

Anyway, but a list up in the kitch, tell her to write on it what whe wants and youbuy it online for delivery and she can put it away.

Id you are more of an e-mail girl (as I am), the I rcommend ta da lists online

And hopefully your typing skills are better than mine.

It is rare to find an au pair who wants to stay for a full year (or even an academic one) unless their English is very poor to start with. I have used au pair world to find our au pairs and I started out with 80 applicants of which the vast majority wanted to stay under 3 months, a few were 3-6 months and none were a year! (but then I like to get APs with a good level of English so less need to stay in the UK).
I agree with AN, that au pairs need a lot more input about their tasks than nannies do, so it pays to have a written list of jobs, a timetable (some people use a tick list so the AP can tick off jobs during the week) but the most important but in my experience draining/tiring thing is picking them up on the little things right from the beginning and reminding them/showing them how to do tasks (often more than once). I had to demonstrate how to tip a recycling bin into a wheelie bin for my current au pair! Having said that, after a dodgy start, she has turned into a super-efficient au pair!
Food-wise - Our AP costs a fair amount to feed (more than the last one, not because she eats a lot but her choice of food is expensive) - if it was stressing me I would give her a reasonable budget and tell her to buy her own food. Does she eat with you or with kids or by herself. What sort of thing is she eating that bumps the bill up so high?

I agree with Millarkie, It's hard to get them to stay longer, we now offer 6 months contracts with an option to extend but at the end of 6 months we are generally frankly bored/irritated with them and vice versa, only because they are not family and have habits which at first you don't mind but by the end of 6 months become VVV ANNOYING. We get our au pairs from gum tree or au pair world. They are issued with a schedule before I even telephone interview them. ie this is the role, do you still want it IYSWIM. Our schedule is literally 7.30am wake up children 7.35 make breakfast, 8.00am dress children, 8.10m get stroller ready. 8.15am leave house 9.15am put washing on/hang washing out, etc etc. That way the minute I walk in the house I can see if a job has not been done. We also make time on a friday evening (payday) to pay them and then sit down and ask how they think their doing and what we think etc as I have found they often need feedback that we're happy with their work, love having them here etc etc. Its hard work but works well.... usually!!!!!. Re food - I had an au pair who ate me out of house and home (i did a post on MN !!!), it was v stressful. We now explain what we expect them to eat for breakfast (selection of cereal/ toast or eggs etc), lunch a sandwich plus crisps, we then make their dinner (big cooked meal which I leave in the fridge every day or if we are having a meal they eat with us) and buy them lots of tescos own brand yoghurts (current AP skinny thing going through 24 a week) and fruit but at least its controllable.

That's crazy amounts for food! I spend £50 at most a week and that's on 5 meals for me and kids and then the weekly staple foods (bread/milk/pasta/etc) and that's mainly because my host family definately prefer organic and free range bits, as well as some exotic fruits!

Hi All,

Thanks for replying. Yes she has had a rota from day one, ( some friends so say my house runs like a milatary operation but I need routine for the kids. Food I buy esecially pasta is in large bulky bags, but believe me she will have the lot gone in less than 3 days. She eats with the kids because DH and I eat at 8pm when the kids are ready for bed. she's also 25 speaks fluent english as her dad is from the UK, I just think she's lazy. I don't mean to sound rude but she wonders why she has nearly gained 2 stone since Jan????. Mon is washing kids clothes and bed changing day, I came home to see none of the bed linen was done when I asked her about this her reply was she was very busy putting on 3 loads of washing. Wrong asnwer for me after having a long day at work with no break. I have reg. on au pair world so I will give this a go for the next 2 weeks. I will keep you posted.

I can relate to this. I have an aupair from aupair world. She has been with me for 6 months and is driving me mad. She eats like a horse. She will finish a loaf of bread in a day and then have the cheek to tell me I'm not buying enough. She eats from morning to night. I agree with other posts that you should not have au pairs for too long because they start to get a bit too comfortable and lazy. I think the food consumption is related to the countries they have come from. I've had aupairs from France and Poland and they seem to eat like they've never seen food before. I've decided to give up on aupairs!