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HELP!-?lunch for live-out nanny

22 replies

majorstress · 22/04/2005 16:06

Am I supposed to feed her lunch? What do (or would) you do?

OP posts:

cod · 22/04/2005 16:07

Message withdrawn


Marina · 22/04/2005 16:09

I would expect to provide her lunch unless she prefers it otherwise (macrobiotic/kosher/halal being examples I can think of).


Ameriscot2005 · 22/04/2005 16:09

You provide the food - she cooks it.


Marina · 22/04/2005 16:11

Yes, where a cooked lunch is preferred. I was thinking of sandwich ingredients etc. Or good quality left-overs that reheat well eg lasagne.


compo · 22/04/2005 16:11

Do you mean if she is working all day in your house should you have lunch for her? If so then yes, just the usual things eg cheese and bread available so she can make a sandwich, sald stuff so she can make a sandwich, potatos for nuking in microwave, tuna always in cupboard


majorstress · 22/04/2005 16:12

ok that all sounds fair. My nightmare au pair was a fusspot but with no identifiable diet (apart from yoyo), couldn't cook but Nirvana can and seems unfussy too. I guess I can cope.

OP posts:

majorstress · 22/04/2005 16:13

Thanks too compo, yes we always have all that stuff, she is making lunch for dd2 anyway, and I would prefer that she eat as well anywya, to encourager les autres.

OP posts:

soapbox · 22/04/2005 16:14

With all nannies I have had and known others to use, you provide all meals while they are on the premises. I would expect them to have more or less what the children were having.

It was a bit of a nightmare with my first one as she only ate 'plastic' bread which we bought in for her. My Dcs have been hooked on it ever since


majorstress · 22/04/2005 16:19

soapbox, my AP wouldn't eat bread at all which made providing food rather hard. I think when I started out with her I was a reasonable person providing plenty of nice stuff, but as she turned up her nose so much at everything I began to think that it was me in the worng. But I guess not. THANKS ALL

OP posts:

uwila · 22/04/2005 17:21

The way I view is it is my place to provide something suitable for meals. If she has any requests, I'm happy yo pick them up (within reason) at the store when I go. But, I do NOT go shopping on demand. I order every week online. I try to order on Sunday for Wednesday delivery. If on Monday morning she can't get through to Wed without her cottage cheese, well... then she can go pick it up and I'll pay her back. Incidentally, this rule of not shopping on demand appplies to my whole household.

It would also be perfectly reasonable for you to ask her to cook a certain meal for the DDs and then of course she could have some herself. It would not be resonable for her to say, oh I don't like Spghetti Bolognese and expect you to bring her sushi.


mishmash · 22/04/2005 19:00

I provide everything she needs in respect of meals. She doesn't eat a lot so I generally have things in she likes and also give her stuff to take home.

Also invite her to have dinner with us in the evenings once a week.


mishmash · 22/04/2005 19:02

Another thing I do is to put extra dinner on in the evening if we are having bolognese, curry or the like that keeps well in the fridge so she can reheat the next day.


UKMickey · 23/04/2005 20:27

Sorry to disappoint you ladies who have yet to employ a nanny etc it is the norm for nanny to raid your fridge, cupboards (food & soft drinks)the same she would have if she/he is at home...usually the only difference you usually have more in than we (because we eat @ yours)Often 2-3 times a day, Usually we eat with our charges age appropriate. **If you have something special in for a dinner party please make nanny/childcarer aware.

If nanny/childcarer etc is out with children again you are responsible (norm expected from nannies etc)not only for children's entrances, drink, food etc but nannies etc too. Also when playdates, T-Parties other visitors & their charges they all eat @ your expense to. (Lets hope none have a tapeworm ha ha)


jothorpe · 23/04/2005 20:38

Have to agree with UKMickey here, when I was nannying I used to have very little food at home.

I would expect a nanny to eat at the same time as their changes generally speaking. Typically I would have the same as the children (far easier only making one meal and increasing quantity, especially if it's something pasta based).

I don't think nannies exactly raid your fridge/cupboards but will be creative at times to encourage children to eat new things/different styles. So while you may think that for lunch it's sandwiches every time, in reality it isn't... pasta salad can also be popular with children, esp. those who don't like bread that much. In Winter, soup and other hot dishes will be far preferred to Sandwiches - by both the children and the nanny!


NannyL · 24/04/2005 20:33

Im a daily nanny and i always eat lunch with the children and dinner (what ever they are having)

I do a supermarket shop every monday to get all the ingrediants for the week. As a nanny i expect to be able to (within reason obviously) eat / use what ever i need / want from the kitchen cupboards throughout the day while im working there.
Equally tho when we 'make' a pudding there is always a portion reserved for mummy and daddys supper, and if we are having bolognese / lasagne etc (rather than sausage, potatoes and veg where i only cook exactly what we need) any left overs are for mum and dad, and if they dont eat them that night then i either freeze it or bin it.

as a result i rarely eat more than pice of fruit / few biscuits at my house!


omega2 · 24/04/2005 21:15

I tend to eat lunch with my charges (although now they all eat at school) and occasionally breakfast in the holidays. I don't eat an evening meal with them unless i am babysitting. I am sure i could eat with the children in the evening but choose not to. Most of the time i am lucky if i have chance to sit down with them in the evening, usually i am in the kitchen preparing their lunch boxes for the next day or clearing up from preparing tea.


pinotgrigio · 24/04/2005 21:55

Our house is a bit complex, as I live on low-fat/weightwatchers, dp is on Atkins, dd organic non processed and the teens on as much junk as they can get their hands on. To start with I spent a lot of time buying separate food for my nanny, but she changed her eating habits every weeks (low-fat/South Beach/fruit only etc etc) so after about a year of stress all round I just gave up and gave her £200 per month for her own food. It riles me when all I see her buy is super noodles and 99p cottage pies from the corner shop, but at least she doesn't feel that there's no 'decent' food in the house for her and I don't spend all my time stressing about what she's eating this week.


Blu · 24/04/2005 21:59

£200 per month?
that sounds a lot.


NannyL · 24/04/2005 22:30

ye £200 a month does seem a lot

I spend about £40 - £50 per week but thats for my charges (2 children 4 and 2 years) and i eat a protion of what they have.
And that is almost all organic food


pinotgrigio · 24/04/2005 22:37

Yes, sorry, the £200 included outings and eating out for DD too. I actually thought I was being a bit tight, as £50 per week in London doesn't go too far - it can cost £8 for a return trip on the train to a soft play centre for them both. I set £50 as a provisional amount and asked her to see whether she felt it was enough though, before that I'd just pay whatever expenses she gave (although she knew I wouldn't just hand over lots of cash without a good reason).


uwila · 25/04/2005 09:35

Oh my goodness pinotgrigio, that sounds like a nightmare trying to organise all those diets. If my house turns into that, I think I'll run away and hide.


majorstress · 25/04/2005 10:12

In my house and in the house I grew up in, the meal was what you got, and Take it or leave it but there is nothing else, is the philosopy. there are lots of healthy things to eat on the table and if there is an item someone really hates (usually dd finds something, but that is normal for age 4), I try to ensure that there are at least a couple other things they do like. I won't provide loads of junk to fill the gaps after the meal. But my au pair was exactly like Pinot's-and I felt she was more of a guest than a family member so I ended up pandering too much to her, which she definitely didn't deserve either, then internalizing my anger.

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