Any top tips about being at home on ML with Nanny?

[Tummum]

Hello. I am 35+ weeks with DC 3 (DD1 = 4.10, DD2 = 2.9) and am about to start ML at the end of this week. I have a live out Nanny who will carry on looking after DDs whilst I am off on ML and we have chatted alot about how we are both a bit nervous about being in the house at the same time with all the DC. Especially worried about how DD2 will manage with LO as she is really clingy when I am in the house.

Has anyone else been in this situation (either as Nanny or Mum) with any wise words of advice?

TIA

back your nanny up ALWAYS

if they come running to you for whatever reason, make it clear to them that nanny is in charge during her working hours

never undermind - obv it is your house, but try to keep out of the way at meal times IF they start playing up

i continued doing my usual routine of going out/having people round/telling off if being rude/naughty etc

once baby is born, try and make a day where nanny has baby and you spend time with older 2, esp in holidays

sure all will be fine, i enjoyed having my mb on ml, but she is fab

Hmmm it worked out OK for us but was very expensive especially when nanny resigned 10 days before I was due back at work-but thats another story.
What it meant for me with only one DS aged 2.9 was that i would not have to do the morning preschool run so could be bleary eyed and stumbling from being up all night but would nearly always do the pick up (with DD in a sling-she was surgically attached to me for about 4 months) and come home to lunch cooked etc (for DS obv) and could host lots of playdates and go on outings in the holidays with the other nursery mums which I think i would have found tricky on my own with DS and all night feeding DD. This I think has been great for DS's confidence and for me making 'mum' friends as we haven't been in the area long and I had been working full time. However this may be less relevant to you.
Once or twice a week she would take DS to a playdate with a nanny friend or to softplay etc without me after preschool and this meant I could chill out and lie down with the baby and get some rest.
The place was tidier (because i had more time to tidy/do housework than if I had had the two of them) and DH did come home to some kind of a meal most nights which i'm not sure I would have managed otherwise in the early months. I think if you have help it means that your 'clingy DD' will get a little more from you as you will hopefully be able to sleep when the baby sleeps at least sometime but effectively if you are breastfeeding the new baby will still be with you nearly all the time-it is just something they get used to-my very clingy DS is lovely with DD now and having had the nanny resign i have now extended my maternity leave and am really really enjoying having the two of them to myself.

Hi I'm speaking as a nanny here, and i agree with blondes have more fun.

I think that it is important that the children know where they stand, my boss is not working at the moment (been at home for the last 3 months) but she knows if I'm working then i'm in charge. I have been there 5 years now so we know each other very well and I suppose she feels it is better that she just leaves us to it.

I know as a mum you will want to do your own things with the kids too, so what might work well is if you want to take the kids out for the afternoon then let her go home early. Unlike one of my previous bosses who wanted me to stay until 6pm even though there were no children to look after, or would go out for the afternoon but come home at 5pm ish so i'd have to stay on to give them some tea.

On the whole I like having my boss around, we get on really well and it's nice to have some company (as my charges are all at school)

Also let her take the children out as much as she normally does as she may feel you want her to be around the house more now you are at home, whilst she is out you can rest then when bubs arrives it gives you a chance to enjoy your baby.

Maybe if I had one peice of advice it would be treat her how you would expect to be treated, and I'm sure you'll be fine. In actual fact I've really enjoyed spending time with my boss she's great.

I am a nanny. I did this 18 months or so back (3 children, 1 on the way, at that point)... it worked well for everyone concerned.

Key things that I found worked:

When nanny is on duty, nanny is in-charge.
All usual routines were kept - oldest had to go to school, younger two benefited from keeping with the routine they knew.

Mum kept very much to herself the majority of the day - such as spending time resting, going to anti-natal checks etc. Once baby arrived, mum kept baby with her at most times. Children could see mum and baby when mum was NOT in her bedroom - so mum and baby had a safe haven they could retreat to for rest.
When mum wanted to do things for herself - washing hair for example... I would then have care of baby.
As the weeks go by, you can leave baby with nanny more - so nanny gets to know the baby better, plus the older children get to spend more time with their new sibling, plus YOU get more YOU time.

Thanks everyone for your advice. I've actually been around at home quite a lot this week as off sick and it has worked well - especially when I make sure I go out / go to my bedroom to keep out of the way and keep the existing routines going. I am looking fwd to having adult company after LO is born too and clingy DD2 seems to be settling with having both of us around.