Trusting a nanny again

[Sorrento]

I had a really really bad experience with my last two nannies if I'm honest.
The first just utterly took the piss because she knew the kids loved her, things like putting the children into childcare at my expense when she was meant to be the childcare. Having migraines and taking the kids to her house to watch dvd's when she should have just called in sick and let me make other arrangements so she didn't miss out on (paid) over time.
But the children did and do still love her to pieces.
The next one was almost dangerous, she was recommended by a friend, who it turned out later had only known her 3 months, she left the children in the car for 20 mins to do her banking, they are 3, 5 and 7, kicked one of them up the bum in a jokey way apparently lived in a complete fantasy world and told the most ridiculous lies.
Now Dh is a senior manager, I have recruited for 10 years so how on earth has this happened to us twice ?
Any advice or tips because I have an interview tomorrow for a job I want and if I get it I want to find somebody new to watch her at work for a good few months before she gets sole charge of our children.
TIA

All I can suggest is that you go via an agency and choose a Nanny with several excellent references!

Good luck!

I'd offer to get them OFSTED registered so you have someone to report her to if she doesn't do her job.
Check references and ask to see photos of family she last worked for and arrange a meeting if possible/collect the reference in person. Ensure you ask lots about gaps in employment. Gaps for no reason are suspect.
Have a list of scenarios and how she will handle these. Ask about child protection and what she knows. Ask what she would do if she suspected a family member of abusing a child.
If she doesn't know the answer then don't employ her.
Ask her how she will keep discipline with the children, always another good question.

Check for valid CRB.
Have places you expect her to go and stipulate it at interview and have friends keep an eye out if possible.

Im a nursery nurse although currently a sahm and I wouldnt be lying if i told you that at least twice a month i get asked if i want a job - by random people who see me with my dc- at the weekend we were at a 'fun day' and I was asked then so id say trust your instinct watch how they respond and check everything.

The first one was ofstead registered and the 2nd one we were about to ask her to leave when her ofstead forms came back with so much missing info that's when the alarm bells really started ringing.
Of course we found out all about the 2nd one's acts of kindness after she'd left our Dc's felt so initmidated by her, she'd told them they mustn't bother mummy and daddy

Awww thats awful.

I know imagine if anyone was abusing them and she'd told them that, it frightens me to death to think if there had been anything serious happen I could not have trusted her to tell the truth to the hospital or whoever.
She loved a good drama and told the mother of a child playing at our house that the girl had banged her head and keep an eye on her, the girl told her mother later that nothing of the sort had happened.

Feel so sorry for you, the girl sounds like a psycho!

Get references and check them yourself, name/phone numbers/address/e-mail. If they can't give you all of this information on past employers, don't go any further!

Wishing you the best of luck with your search.

Wow poor you! It must have been awful to have these experiences. I am a nanny and I have seen a couple of awful nannies in my time but I can reassure you that they are the minority. Nearly all the nannies I know adore their charges and would do anything for them.

Like others have said check references yourself thoroughly. Ask around locally for reccommedations. Make sure to check CRB although imo that doesn't tell you that much only that they haven't been 'caught' doing something they shouldnt!

Most importantly go with your gut instinct that usually says a lot!

One thing I would say as a bit of advice though is that even though you have been burnt try not to let it affect your relationship with new nanny. Your children are old enough to report any major problems unlike a baby or young toddler. So try and 'let go' a bit.

You said in your post ' I want to find somebody new to watch her at work for a good few months before she gets sole charge of our children.'

This will not bode well with an experienced and good nanny. Nobody wants to work in an environment where they don't feel trusted and feel watched all the time.

I can only imagine how hard it must be for you but the nanny- employer relationship is based on trust and if you don't feel that you can trust again then I really don't think it would be a good idea for you to return to work and get a nanny.

Hope it works out for you x

you have had 2 bad experiences - but rest assured - we are not ALL like that.

in 1st ones defense, maybe she felt she couldnt call you home, and was trying to be helpful by still working when she was ill - kids watching dvd's isnt a terrible thing if the nanny is ill

most of us will come to work on our deathbed as we know if we take time off, then the mb either needs to take time off or find a temp nanny etc asap which isnt always possible

but agree leaving in car alone to go to bank is a no no - why didnt she take them with her?

nice friend you have - not!! Though to be fair if you get a nanny through an ad, you wont know them, and least your friend knew this girl for 3 mths

agree you have to check and double check refs, phone up ex employers and trust yout instinct

word of mouth is good, but obv in your case didnt work out