Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Tough situation, need some advice

64 replies

mananny · 27/03/2009 14:01

Ok so I work p/t for a family that I love, that I have been with for over 3 years. I'm also at uni here, which is bloody expensive to say the least. I've heard about a fab job also here in the US, visa provided, great money, interesting specs, and the agency are putting me forward. I'm not job hunting really, just this particular opportunity would be really amazing. I asked my MB to provide a ref and now she's gone all weird and defensive and non-communicative with me. I have assured her that I am not thinking of upping and leaving, I am just testing the water. I might not even be considered for an interview with this other opportunity. I love the family, but now I am freaking out that even in asking for a ref some damage has been done. MB is very dependent on me and I am uncomfortable with her reaction to my asking for a ref. I'm such a peacemaker by nature I am tempted to can it all and stay here all cozy in my comfort zone. But this other opportunity is offering not just an amazing experience, but it would be a challenge and that's what I need now I feel like, as I have stayed in my comfort zone for too long.

Someone please kick me up the ass and tell me that I am not responsible for keeping my lovely but over-dependent boss happy!!!! It's hard enough to think about leaving my charges, but that's a part and parcel of any nanny job. I don't want the added emotional pressure of keeping the parents happy too!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

mananny · 27/03/2009 20:44

I can't say. But I am dying to tell someone. Aaagghhhh!!!!!

OP posts:

nbee84 · 27/03/2009 20:51

You can email me my board name @gmail.com

snice · 27/03/2009 20:54

Its the Obama kids isn't it

Original poster

mananny · 27/03/2009 21:00

I'd love to nanny for them, they seem a really lovely family! But unfortunately it's not them.

Oh I'm going to get in trouble if I say any more.

I think part of the "test" is that I keep my mouth shut.

It's killing me.

The really ironic thing is my boss would love to hear who it is, and she won't be told even when giving references. I will have to sign many, many confidentiality agreements.

OP posts:

Original poster

mananny · 27/03/2009 21:01

please don't tempt me nbee.

I am going to stop googling them now. Just in case the Feds check my computer.

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/03/2009 21:21

this blonde can keep a secret

nannynick · 27/03/2009 21:24

Would you be applying to this job if they were not high profile?

In a past life, I had contact with many high profile families in the UK. Some were very nice people to chat with, others were not. Some would expect to be treated like royalty (well some were foreign royalty) while others wanted to keep things low profile. Sometimes I didn't know they were high profile until after the event (and a colleague mentioned that I should Google their name!).

Not sure where I am going with this... but I suppose I'm trying to say that you should not lose your focus... this is a job like any other. You may know something about the family, but you may only know what the media knows, which may not be reality.

nbee84 · 27/03/2009 21:26

Still waiting for my email!!!!

So, have you had a think about what you are going to say to your current boss? It sounds like you have got on very well thus far (and you have been there 3 years) I think you just need to sit down and have an honest chat with her about it all, you owe her that much. Hopefully when it's all discussed and she knows all the ins and outs of it all you working relationship will go back to normal.

Supernanny19 · 27/03/2009 21:34

tell us how old the children are..girls or boys? if we guess doesnt mean you have told us

Original poster

mananny · 27/03/2009 21:40

I would go for this job if they were not high profile for 2 reasons: firstly the children are the age and amount I like, and secondly the work the parents do is both interesting and respectable (and that's important to me, I need to know my employers are morally and ethically upstanding). I won't lie, the experience of private jets, butlers, first class travel, celeb playdates etc will be interesting and completely outside of my personal scope of experience. Life is short. I have no ties. I was approached because the agency thought I was perfect for this role. (ego boost )

So, yes I would go for it anyway. I would never have found this opportunity on my own. I am not blinded by dollar signs, rather I am looking at the whole picture. I would gain valuable experience, provide good old fashioned love, care and common sense to children who due to their situation might need that kind of security from their caregiver. I love what I do and the thought of taking it several rungs up the ladder is thrilling to me.

My bosses are away for the weekend and I'll be seeing them next week. We'll sit down and chat and we get on well so I am hoping that this will end well. And if I don't get offered the position or I don't like anything about it, well then I have learnt my lesson: be more open and communicative about things like this from the start.

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/03/2009 21:46

age and amount you like?

depending on family - not sure i would want 6

madonna is on the hunt again

BabyBaby123 · 27/03/2009 21:49

is it KW and SM?? Not that high profile I suppose but they just came into my head straight away!

Original poster

mananny · 27/03/2009 21:53

Actually I don't think any of you would guess who it is. The person is more famous here. I had never heard of them til I found out their name and googled them. And fell off my chair. They do pretty amazing work, and have won awards and all kinds of things. Plus their beach house is amazing.

And I will not say any more.

OP posts:

Notquitegrownup · 28/03/2009 14:13

OK I'm putting this thread on Watch. Can you promise to tell us who it is if you get the job? Presumably the confidentiality on releasing even their names is only for applicants, not for employees . . .

Original poster

mananny · 28/03/2009 14:51

From what I have been told, once I have accepted a formal job offer I am free to release the names of my employers. However, I will not be allowed to release any details regarding the children obviously.

Am sooooooooo ridiculously excited even though once you find out who it is you'll probably all be a bit

If I even get the job. Must not get my hopes up. (Feel like it's Christmas come early if I even get past an interview with the PA!!!)

OP posts:

Notquitegrownup · 28/03/2009 16:31

Logging my guess as Mr and Mrs Bill Gates!

Nabster · 28/03/2009 17:13

Are you still going for the job?

PixiNanny · 28/03/2009 17:15

I don't know how I would handle being a celebs nanny, as long as it was purely nannying and not being a PA to them I'd be alright with it I s'pose?

Must say though to whoever mentioned Tom and Katie, I couldn't work for them!

Original poster

mananny · 28/03/2009 17:55

I am still going for the job. It's a huge opportunity and I would regret not giving it a shot. Have spoken with my boss and cleared the air. She really is lovely, said they are 110% behind whatever I want to do. She said I am like family to them and would always be a part of their lives whether I was their nanny or not. Which made me well up.

So, now I feel better about going for this position I just have to wait and see if they call me for an interview. Won't have any nails left by Monday.

OP posts:

BottySpottom · 28/03/2009 18:51

'interesting and respectable ' not posh and becks then

Original poster

mananny · 28/03/2009 19:01

LMAO at BottySpottom

No I can confirm it most definitely is not the Beckhams. I would rather work for MacDonalds.

OP posts:

HappyChildminderBerkshire · 28/03/2009 20:05

Ooooh another vote for the Gates....although surely they wouldn't have a beach house as such, living in Washington state?????

So excited to hear who it is, and fingers and toes crossed for you!!!!

ChippingIn · 30/03/2009 21:35

Bumping for an update

ScottishThistle · 30/03/2009 22:42

Good luck if it's what you want. I'm sure your current (one day) employer will get over it in a few days as she realises you're not exactly holding her family together!

Be warned "high profile" usually means "high maintenance".

thebody · 31/03/2009 11:26

I think some of the comments are unfair here, you arn't a friend however friendly you are to the mother and
everyone moves on in their job, i expect she has in the past. Good luck Mananny

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread