Cuddles - Should your nanny/childminder or staff at nursery cuddle your child?

[jothorpe]

Child Protection is a major thing these days but sometimes it does perhaps go a bit far.

For example, it appears that some day nurseries take the attitude that cuddles are not acceptable in the nursery environment. Do parents really support that view? Do parents send their babies to nurseries that won't cuddle their baby when they are upset?

What about Nannies and Childminders... would you use a childminder who refused to cuddle an upset child because there could be Child Protection issues?

What are your views... should childcarers cuddle children, or is showing such affection to children totally inappropriate these days?

Jo.

piffle, the poor man!

Poor bloke. Agree with everyone, cuddles are important.

that's terrible Piffle. Poor man and poor ds.

piffle, how awful

well done you for speaking up for the caretaker and remembering to thank him. Lunacy the lot of it. The amount of parents that we've had at our school worry that the Reception teacher is male. What men can't enjoy working with children? He's fab!

I met a horrid grand old bat a while ago. She told me that her grownup daughter had hired a nanny to look after the grandchildren, but she [old bat] had disapproved of the nanny very much because 'she kept kissing and hugging the children'

i think children need protection from grandmothers like that

All for it, I would hate to have a nanny at home they couldn't cuddle up to on the sofa to read a book with......

My DH is a reg /Mer (like me) and if the children are upset or fall they all (without exception) run to him, his name has been the first word of at least 4 children,

A number of our parents have chosen us because of my DH

He also does 'rough play' with them....and they love it.

Cuddles and contact are essential to a childs development

Childminder (even)

My DD has gone to a day nursery two days a week since being 20 weeks (or so). She is now just tiurned three. I would be very upset if the staff did not cuddle my little girl, and not just when she is upset or hurt - but just for being lovely and good Cuddles are very important IMHO, at this early age especially.

TBH I still find it ridiculous that teachers in primary/secondary are not allowed to touch children, even when distressed. I had a 12yo boy break down in tears on me a few years back - a close relative had just died and he wasn't coping. He was crying out for someone to look after him. And I have to say that, despite all my training, instinct did take over and I did put mya rm round his shoulder and chatted to him very calming and quietly. His mum thanked me a few days later, for not ignoring him or standing by watching only.

Both myself and my DP are registering to be childminders and we intend to nurture the children in our care, which will include cuddles...and not only when they are upset. Most children are minded for 10 hours a day, it would be awful to deny them hugs if that is what they are used to at home.

Also, some parents like the idea that a man will be looking after their children as some do not have a male influence at home...although I am sad to say we have had to look very carefully at our policies to ensure DP does not put himself at risk such as the caretaker story earlier in the thread.

Having said all this, all parents will be very aware of the kind of childcare we will be offering and if they prefer their child not to be cuddled or hugged then we will suggest they find alternative childcare as I/we could never not hold a child who is in pain or upset or just needs to feel secure.

cuddles - v important! the toddlers at ds's nursery know me well enough after 2 years to always run to ME for a cuddle when I walk in.

I totally oblige because children are cuddley!

If I found a child crying in the park with no adult supervision, I'd try and help it - regardless of whether I'd get shouted at by the carers ultimately, because I would rather it be me that aided a lost child than someone else... iykwim???

There's a huge difference between cuddles and gropes... and I'm trying, tactfully, to teach ds, aged 3½, the difference. It's sad, but I don't want to shelter him from the fact there are perverts out there...