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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

my lovely childminder has just given me notice - it's ds I feel for

23 replies

BocciBalls · 22/03/2009 17:41

she is fab but has decided not to continue being a CM. DS has only been with her for 4 months and he was at his last place for just 6 months (he left because we moved area).

My heart sinks at the thought of having to go through all the ringing round and trying to find a good place again. He was beautifully settled and loved going there and I'm really .

He's 22 mo - will another move be really unsettling for him? am seriously considering giving up work rather than do this again.

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HappyChildminderBerkshire · 22/03/2009 18:12

I hope that you find someone wonderful, or that you can find a solution with your job that works for your family.

Original poster

BocciBalls · 22/03/2009 18:18

hi thanks for replying. I am just really gutted and completely knocked sideways - just got a note through the door this afternoon, completely out of the blue. am a lone parent working p/t and need all the support I can get and this is a real blow.

OP posts:

nbee84 · 22/03/2009 18:31

that's unfair - just to get a note through the door.

I hope you manage to sort things out with only minor hassle. Remember that children are resilient and though your son may miss his cm to start with, by the end of the 1st week with the new one he will have forgotten all about her (as he is still young)

missmapp · 22/03/2009 18:42

HOw terrible, I know how upsetting it is when good childcare ends. Your ds will get over it tho' and settle well somewhere else. Do you only want to consider childminders, a nursery may be able to offer more long term future(IYKWIM) but then again I suppose they can close too. Sorry, no advice just wanted to show support

Original poster

BocciBalls · 22/03/2009 18:48

thank you all for your support. am surprised by just how down I feel about this. note through door not great, and she is lovely so am worried it's something I've done. I was an hour late picking ds up one day last week but she said she was fine about it, I kept her informed and it was completely outside my control (stuck on a train that was faulty), and it was the first time this had happened. just seems like a big co-incidence.

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Scarfmaker · 22/03/2009 19:07

Hi Bocciballs - please don't take this too personally - your childminder may have been thinking of giving up for some time and just decided now the time is right.

A lot of childminders are giving up due to the pressures of all the EYFS stuff we have to do and this could be a reason.

HSMM · 22/03/2009 19:14

Is your CM able to recommend someone else that your DS may have already met?

Original poster

BocciBalls · 22/03/2009 19:34

thanks scarfmaker - thought it would be odd if me being late once was the catalyst but suddenly felt it might have been the last straw, I think she's been quite tired as she has her own children to look after too.

HSMM I will definitely ask her for a recommendation. nanny I suspect will be too expensive, even sharing, but I really don't think nursery is the right place for ds so it has to be a CM or nanny. time to hit the phones and internet.

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Nabster · 22/03/2009 19:37

I think you are within your rights to ask why she has given you notice tbh and a note through the door could have been because she couldn't face telling you face to face. Is she working a notice period?

Original poster

BocciBalls · 22/03/2009 19:45

she's said it's because she's giving up CM and going back to her old career. I don't doubt her for a minute. she's given loads of notice too. I just wasn't expecting this at all, we'd been talking a few weeks ago about where ds will go to nursery school next year that will fit with her drop off / pick up range.

OP posts:

leonifay · 22/03/2009 21:05

for him, but as said already after 1 or 2 weeks, he wont even remember. what area are you in, maybe some one on her4e might be able to help?

TheOtherMaryPoppinsDiets · 23/03/2009 09:04

CM are within their rights to not give a reason.
How unprofessional to do it by a note though?!

Bocciballs, definitely ask her for help finding another CM, she should know who you would get on with, who has spaces, hopefully someone your child may already have met and be comfortable with. And yes certainly within a couple of weeks he will be fine

nomoreamover · 23/03/2009 09:49

I have read/heard somewhere that under 3s roll with the punches - over 3s are the ones that struggle with too much change....HTH!

nomoreamover · 23/03/2009 09:51

oh and to back up what the others are saying - yes lots of CMs giving up.....sad but true - its got REALLY hard work these days with all the added pressure of EYFS and we can't put our rates up to make it more worth while because parents can't afford it!

Original poster

BocciBalls · 23/03/2009 13:03

just want to say, she HAS given a reason, no problem with that. She is great and it is a shock, and the fact it was via a note doesn't help though. Not sure how we kick off when I next see her tomorrow at drop-off.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 23/03/2009 13:21

whats the reason then?

i do think it is a bit off she popped a note through your door and didnt do it in person

also she must have had an idea 4mths ago when you started and again i find that a bit weird that she took on new children

good luck with finding a new cm

Original poster

BocciBalls · 23/03/2009 17:05

she's going back to her old career. can't work out if it's a long-planned decision or more spur of the moment (relatively speaking).

Really don't know what I say to her tomorrow, I feel awkward about it, don't know why!

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TheOtherMaryPoppinsDiets · 23/03/2009 19:31

I'd be inclined to give her a call tonight and see whats' what, more time to talk plus saves the face to face awkwardness.

mamadoc · 23/03/2009 22:10

I can really sympathise. DD was at wonderful CM from 9-18 months we were so happy with them and then out of the blue they decided to give up with 1 months notice.

I can still remember the horrible feeling. I was in tears going home that night. It was a mix of sadness for DD and worry at what I would do. It brought up all the guilt I'd had at leaving her the first time.

The good news is that despite my worries she settled really easily at her new CM where she's been for 6mo now. It is different but just as good in different ways.

dempsie · 01/04/2009 13:43

where are you located- im a childminder with spaces and im reliable! the note thing was a bit rough, maybe she has personal issues and didnt want to discuss them in case she broke down??

i dont know, but its a thought?
e-mail me if you are in the N10 area and still looking for cover
[email protected]

KatyKatyKaty · 01/04/2009 23:04

Hello,

Sounds a bit harsh, hope she had a good reason to let you both down like that. I am a Regitered childminder in Leatherhead with vacancies, where abouts are you?

KatyKatyKaty · 01/04/2009 23:09

if Leatherhead is close, email me on [email protected].

Original poster

BocciBalls · 02/04/2009 19:47

hi again. in S London so thanks dempsie and Katy but you're not close enough! she is a lovely cm and lovely person, that's just life I guess, can't force someone to keep doing something if it doesn't work for them. can you tell I'm over the shock now?!

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