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Nanny Share advice please

8 replies

callmeovercautious · 21/03/2009 22:13

I am looking to share a nanny with a friend. Same days a week. So we would have to use one house for the 3 DC.

Where do I start is the question? Any good websites? Or personal experiences?? I am mostly concerned about the personal relationship and the stresses that it might cause.

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nannynick · 21/03/2009 22:28

If you look through all the messages on this part of mumsnet you will find lots of advice regarding: contracts, expected duties, potential problems, taxation, interview questions, where to advertise, lots more.
Where are you located? Your location may be a factor in where to advertise, salary expectation.
At this point have you decided if you want live-in or live-out?

nannyL · 21/03/2009 22:28

there are lots of things you need to think about...

will you pay half each? (is it really fair when only 1 parent pays for the heating / hot water / wear and tear on their house etc)

what about food? i assume the nanny will cook all the children the same meal?

how old are the children and what buggy / car will fit them all in (many cars will not fit 3 car seats in the back so an employer you may have to provide one that does (inc car seats of course)

my friend worked for a nanny share...
basically she did an online tesco shop each week with ingrediants for the meals she was going to cook which was split in half (though if 1 parent has 1 child and 1 has 2 you may want to split it in thirds?)

the children were same age and size so the mum whose house they were at bought all the nappies and she paid 2/3 (as were in use at her house by her child all the time) and the other mum paid 1/3 of the cost

gave nanny a credit card for day to day expenses (swimming / soft play/ petrol in nanny car) and split the bill in half

the key is to think about EVERYthing before you start so one family isnt resentful.

also think about holiday... nanny is entitiled to 5.6 weeks... (which can include bank hols)

I would suggest as a minimum each family chooses a week each and the nanny can choose 2 weeks per year.

callmeovercautious · 21/03/2009 23:16

Thanks for the answers.

Nannynick - Thanks, I have had a quick look through the treads - lots of advice on the practicalities of hiring a Nanny and being a good employer which is great Nice to see your name on here as I have seen you around alot and know you are good on your subject

NannyL your point on wear and tear is a good one! I am proposing a kind of share of resources - I work in HR so am happy to do the contract and payroll/NI stuff, the friend is happy to have them all at hers in exchange. Do you think that is a fair deal?

The credit card is a good idea, I am hoping not to need a car as we live close together and have access to almost everything by foot or on the bus/train. I never use my car on days out with DD if I can help it.

Is a mobile phone the usual too? I would think so.

Another Q - I don't think either of us is expecting any cleaning etc over and above keeping the playroom tidy and washing up after lunch - is that a bonus to a Nanny? I am more interested in the DC being well cared for and entertained than doing their washing for me.

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nannynick · 22/03/2009 08:38

Sharing of resources sounds quite a nice idea to me. Your friend is happy with it so give it a go and see how it pans out. If you find that it isn't a fair exchange, then you could always find something else to add - for example you buying a weeks food once a month.

How old are the children?

While you don't use a car when taking out your DD, what about if you took your friends two children as well - is taking 3 children on public transport going to work? I find taking two children on public transport works, but once you add a third it can be more challenging - it depends on their ages... the younger they are, the harder it will be. Given you say you live near everything... I guess you live in London - as near is a relative term... things near me tend to be 7-15 miles!

As a nanny I've never had a mobile phone as part of my job. I don't think it would be usual - though may be for a live-in nanny who is coming to the country from abroad.
If you are wanting your nanny to frequently keep in touch with you via mobile phone, then paying towards the cost of a contract phone may be viable. You may want to look at tax implications - may be easier to get them a phone, so you get the itemised bill.

As a nanny I don't do much cleaning... tend to wipe surfaces in the kitchen, load/unload dishwasher, try to keep the babies highchair in a reasonable state, run the vacuum around on occasion. Tidy the children's bookcase - especially when littleone pulls most of the books off. I do some of the children's washing, which is an ever ongoing task - my boss is nice as she will try to keep the children's washing up-to-date as well, so all in all we usually have sufficient clothes for the children at all times (though the sock monster does seem to be feasting on socks at the moment).
In a share doing the children's washing when all care is based at one home will mean the washing for that family (your friend), not the share family (you). However, your DD will need a supply of clothes at your friends home... so those clothes could go in the wash there, as and when required. Your DD having spare clothes at your friends home I feel is vital, even if you do live close. It is a lot easier if there are spare items that can be used when the children get mud/paint/food/snot/puke etc over their clothes.

Sorry for telling you to search out message threads earlier... I was on a mobile device so could not post links to useful things. Also much easier to answer specific questions rather than one that is more general.

As NannyL says, your starting point is to plan everything out. You need to identify your needs, thus creating a job description, which will then lead to creating job advert(s).
Recruiting yourself is probably the best thing to do, if you are not in a hurry. www.nannyjob.co.uk is the most popular job site for recruiting a nanny in the UK, in my view.
If you are not London based, then also putting an advert in a local section of www.gumtree.com can also be useful, to help get more applicants. Also consider local advertising - newsagents window for example, school newsletter.
You need to agree everything with your friend, have the same views on things such as children's behaviour, what children eat, where nanny can take children. You need a contract between yourselves, which sets out the key things about the share... you may then also want to add some kind of Handbook to that contract - which you can keep updating as and when you find new things you need to discuss and agree. When problems do arise you need to sort it quickly - have a weekly meeting where you and your friend chat about how things have gone that week, any issues, and agree on how to sort it out... all over a glass of wine, coffee, or a meal. Consult with your DH's, keep them involved to however much extent they wish to be involved (some will want more involvement than others).

nannynick · 22/03/2009 08:57

Will the nanny be full-time? I see on your profile that you work part-time... though of course profiles are never that accurate

My research concludes that you are not in London (you are near Flowery). Looking at NannyJob, there seem to be quite a few jobs available in your area, so that may affect the amount you will need to offer salary wise. I would expect that you need to look at £8-£12 Gross per hour. I would suggest deciding on a pay rate, then advertising the job with that pay rate indicated - then nannies who want more money won't apply. I hate negotiating salary... but I know what I need to earn to pay my bills - wastes my time (and the parents time) applying for a job which isn't paying enough. As someone in HR you know all about recruitment, so you will do what you like but looking at the jobs listed on NannyJob for your area, a lot of the jobs don't indicate salary - so if you DO indicate salary, you may well find that you get the applicants.

callmeovercautious · 22/03/2009 21:14

Wow thanks nannynick

Yes I am nearish to flowery. That woman gets everywhere

We live in a small town and with in a toddle of the centre. The DC are 2.5 (X2) and 1 year.

The contract between us is a good idea, something I have thought about (that's the HR in me!) but was not sure if it was the usual thing.

We need 4 long days, hours would be 40 per week so that should help I would think. OT optional

I hate not indicating salary - it just causes me extra CV shifting work I also don't negotiate - I like to lay my cards out and those that like it will take it.

I am off to look at your links. Thanks so much for your advice

If you ever need any HR advice feel free to shout.

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nannynick · 22/03/2009 22:15

I like you

I can't see the point in negotiating salary either. Employers know what they want to pay, so I feel they should just offer that upfront - thus putting off anyone who wants more money than the employer wants to pay. Far better to shift through 5 quality CV's that meet all the requirements, than 50 where few meet the requirements.

I think a contract between you and the other family is essential. Even if it does get changed over time, it will help you both know what you agreed to, if at any stage any dispute arises.

Good luck with your hunt for a nanny.

callmeovercautious · 22/03/2009 22:51

Thanks

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