Anyone out there left their kid with its granparent to look after?

[Deaby]

Hi All, Just wanted to know if anyone out there has left their child with its grandparent to be looked after? I have decided to leave my DD with her grandma when I go back to work 9she will be one year old then). Did you have any problems? Did it work well? I am going back to work just 3 days a week, on which days DD will be at home with granny.We have decided to go for this option til DD is 2 years old, then we will put her in nursery, as we will be able to afford it then. Just want reassurance I guess that everything will be Ok.....

hi your daughter will be fine she will have her every need taken care of grannys are great and will give her one on one attention which a nursery cant allways do your daughter will have loads of fun so dont worry she will be in a safe happy enviroment

Not me personally, but several of my friends have this arrangement and it works really well. It seems like the ideal childcare scenario to me.

My DD went to day nursery 2 days a week, and to PILs 1 day a week between the ages of 5.5 months and 4y3m, whilst I worked.

We did put in some very basic ground rules for when DD was very little but these relaxed lots as time went on and we became a bit less precious and a bit more okay with the idea of someone else being in charge of DD. Some rules stayed in place - no smacking, etc. but PILs were more than happy with those kind of guidelines and we trusted them not to anyway. It worked really well.

DD loved her day with nana and grandad, amd they loved their time with DD. They really missed it when DD went to school.

My DD1 went to nursery at 6 months old and absolutley hated itm I mean she cried the full 7 hours she was there. I needed to work though and after a couple of months of us all being really upset my dad actually took over the childcare of my daughter and my sisters 2 girls, we paid him a proper salary, with holiday pay! and it was the best arrangement ever, he was fantastic with our girls. My eldest niece has a hearing impairment and the dr's have said that the reason she gets on so well is that my dad gave her so much 1-1 attention she could lip read/sign from a very early age.

Hope it works out as well for you as it did for us.

I would definitely agree some ground rules first though, we did and I'm sure that helped avoid any problems.

Lisa :-)

My mum looks after dd two days per week - they both love it !

As long as it is a finite arrangement it will probably be OK. 2 yrs sounds good. I'm sure your DD will be fine, but the worry for me is the grandparent. Depending on how old they are, they may find that the reality of looking after a small child all day is much harder than they remember when their own DC were little. My parents have always looked after mine 1 day a week until they were old enough to go to school. It worked out as mostly just one child at a time. 12 yrs ago when DS#1 was a baby and my parents were 2 active people in their early 60s all was well, but it got increasingly hard work for them and by the time DS#2 was 4 and they were mid-70s it was harder and I think they were quite glad (and sad) to stop.

Just bear in mind that it may not work out and don't be upset and disappointed if that happens.

I went back to work 2 days a week when ds was 1. He is now 3.5 and still spends one day with my mum and one day with MIL. It has worked really well for us. I did lay certain ground rules down (particularly regarding my mum smoking) but on the whole leave them to it.

I think if you are lucky enough to have this option it's great. He now goes to play group 3 mornings a week too but I am glad that we had this option. He is really close to both sets of grandparents and has also has a lot of contact with dh's extended family which he probably wouldn't have had and I think this is a positive thing.

With regard to age, it does help that my mum is only in early 50's and mil early 60's.

It's a great idea. Please bear in mind though that I have met some extremelyn tired grandparents at toddler groups and make sure they get a break if they need one.

I went back to work 3 days a week when dd turned 1. Her granny has her one day a week and it is her favourite day of the week: they have a fantastic time. I must say, though, my mum is very youthful, energetic and great with children.

I think a lot depends on your relationship. If there are any underlying issues then this will magnify things. Tread carefully, and as others have said, agree ground rules unless you are exceptionally easygoing.

Yes! Overnight once a week with my PILs and everyone loves it. They collect in the morning and I collect the following afternoon. They get a good chunk of time together without me skulking around with my own rules & regulations and we get precious time off.

When my kids were very little I printed out their routine on a piece of paper so they could roughly stick to nap times etc, but then they slowly they found their own way of doing things and I try to be completely hands off. Who cares if they sometimes pig out on cake and chocolate and watch lots of TV - they do lots of other stuff together too and I am so grateful for the break they give me that I really don't care about healthy diet/tooth brushing, etc as long as they come back bouncing and happy.

There can be quite a short window for grandparents and grandchildren to spend quality time together before the children start school and the grandparents get too old, so I'd say go for it as long as you feel you can trust them fully of course and that you can communicate with them about your child's needs. My grandma looked after me for a few years when I was a child and as a result I have lovely memories of her - very special particularly since she died when I was 7.

My mum looks after my dd 2 days per week when I'm working, it's great for them both because they're really close, but I found that sometimes my mum would take over a bit and act like she was the parent, nothing sinister like telling my dd to call her mum or anything like that, just not being able to step back and let me do the parenting when I'm there IYSWIM. I would think that if you set proper ground rules before you start it will be great.

think alot of it depends if your mum or mil

many probs seem to occur with mil and then your dh is stuck in the middle

agree ground rules like no smoking /lots of sweets is good, but remember you are getting free childcare and they prob spent 20+ years looking after you/your siblings - only to do it again - plus the gp's are now prob 30+years older

Lovely to hear so many positive stories.

We have a had a few threads on here with people complaining about grandparents and food issues, smoking, discipline, sleeping, pushchairs/reins etc. In most of those there has been a lack of ground rules from the outset or difficult relationship with Mum/Mil before any childcare took place.

my mum had my son from 20 weeks- went well, felt happy and that he was safe and well cared for. Although i must admit that she did bend the rules more than a professional childminder would!!!

You dont explain what excactly your worries are. Or why the sad face in the end?

My parents do childcare for me and it has worked fine

i think it could work out fantastically if you get on with grandma well. My only consideration would be the age and health of the carer but you must have thought of that yourself anyway.
Its what always happened in the old days anyway isnt it and still does in many cultures. I always feel sorry for kids who dont have a strong bond with grandparents, my dd was only 3 months old when my lovely mum-in-law died and I am so sorry they missed each other, She has a picture of her above her bed though and we talk to her a lot. sorry off the point, good luck..

Yes. My dad did a fantastic job with my eldest. He had her from 6 months till she was 3 and they have a bond between them that is very special as a result.

"she did bend the rules more than a professional childminder would!!! "

my mum had mine for 2 days, then 3 part days from when ds1 was 7mo, with a year gap in the middle when I had mat leave with ds2.
ds2 is now 3 and she picks him up from pre-school 2 days a week at 11.45am and has him till I get home at 2.30pm, and also has him from 8.30 - 2.30 on a 3rd day.

Until xmas my mum came to mine for 7.30am, gave them breakfast, got them dressed, took ds1 to school and had ds2 until I got home at 1.30pm. DS1 REALLY misses that morning time with grandma now.

What the Body said re fitness. One thing I would be worried about is how long the grandparent could keep up the pace. Three days a week might be fine but if you're doing three days a week but ten to twelve hours a day...well, not sure about it. If it's easy to find a nursery or childminder, or you could do a nanny, for all or part of the time in case it proves too much for them then go for it. If going for this option means you're giving up your spot on waiting lists for alternative care in your area and you have a demanding work schedule on those days, as lovely as it sounds, I'd think really carefully about it.

All the other stuff for me would be less significant for me - more lenient rules, food/control issues - relative to this.

Reading this with envy!

I wish we had GP's that were able (mine) or were interested (his).

Have real problems with childcare and know that our DS 8months would really benefit from spending time with GPs.

All of you with GPs helping out - you are very lucky!