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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

inappropriate boss behaviour

35 replies

marypoppins2 · 18/03/2009 21:09

Hi there,
Just wanted to test the water on this one and get some feed back from any nannies out ther. Mums please feel free to also offer your opinions.
I have had my boss constantly phoning me in the evenings and weekends for ridiculous reasons like 'do I know where the kids socks are' or 'hi what you doing at the moment' or being bored on a saturday when her husband isn't home and instead of phoning one of the many friends she says she has calls me and if I don't answer sends me several text messages.
I told her that my evenings and weekends are my own and the only reason she needs to call me is in an absolute emergency or on Sunday night to change what time I need to be in on Monday. When she heard this she hit the roof and ranted on about not meeting her needs. I explained that I'm not her pa, gal pal or housekeeper. If she wants to have a girlie chat call a friend. I keep the house tidy all week so if she can't find something at the weekend it's because she's lost it Saturday morning so I would have no idea where it is.
I've been nannying for 15 years and have never come up against this before. I've always had a good relationship with previous bosses and communication has been good but they have respected that I work a long day and my time is my time.
Anyone out there met with anything like this ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ShyTalk · 18/03/2009 21:18

Yes, but not as a nanny. However, a mad employer is a mad employer. End of. Leave asap.
And change your phone number.

nancy75 · 18/03/2009 21:21

she sounds very needy. tbh my first reaction is to tell you to quit, but obviously with the way things are thats probably not practical. could you get a new phone, to be used just for her (dont tell her that bit) and just turn it off when not at work?

Haribosmummy · 18/03/2009 21:23

Def. agree with Nancy75.

Get a work phone so you can be contactable without having to deal with her.

littlestarschildminding · 19/03/2009 07:27

Just ignore her calls and texts out of work hours unless the message she has sent is urgent....

ButIForgetMyself · 19/03/2009 09:02

Mine phoned me ON HOLIDAY IN ITALY to ask me if I'd seen my charge's reins.

Agree with littlestars, ignore ignore ignore unless it's urgent. She'll get the message... maybe...

AtheneNoctua · 19/03/2009 10:00

She's crackers. How long have you worked for her? Is this new behaviour?

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/03/2009 10:09

she sounds lonely

and also a bit nutty!!

if you are not meeting her needs, then you need to try and sort it out IF otherwise happy in your job, if not leave

StealthPolarBear · 19/03/2009 10:18

It's a difficult one - if you don't answer her calls or read her texts you won't know that they're trivial until it's too late! I can see why you're annoyed though.
What did you say to her rant - it sounds as though you were being assertive until then?

Original poster

marypoppins2 · 19/03/2009 19:49

Thanks for the replies and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who thinks she's barking mad. I was at my godson's christening this last weekend and purposely turned my phone off as I knew she would call. When I turned it on around 2 o clock on Sunday afternoon she had left me 8 messages the last one saying if you don't call me back by 3 o clock consider yourself fired. We then had a huge text battle back and forth with me politely explaining it was my weekend and she had no right to call. The only reason she was calling anyway was to see if I'd be in on Monday. I wrote back in 7 months of working for you have I ever given you any reason to worry about my punctuality. If there was a problem I would have called you.
She told me to finish the week and that was it.
When I got home and checked my contract it said she had to give me 4 weeks written notice and a text isn't legal, a friend of mine works for a lawyer and advised me. She then hit the roof and accussed me of causing trouble and fired me from the next day (this was Monday). 20 mins later she emailed me and tried to be all nice and sound like she was helping me out by saying why don't we go back to the original agreement and finish out the month. I knew why she was doing it as she has work commitments, holidays and hospital appointments for the next 3 weeks and no child care.
So the short of it is after her childish tantrum and not getting her own way she now has to pay me 5 weeks pay or it's breach of contract and I can take her to small claims court.
A word of wisdom to all nannies out there - CHECK YOUR CONTRACT AND MAKE SURE YOU ARE COVERED or you could end up having to fight it out like me.

OP posts:

Ebb · 19/03/2009 21:02

She sounds a complete and utter nightmare! You are better off out of there. Hope she pays you and hope you find a nice family to work for next.

Tavvy · 19/03/2009 21:33

You poor thing. Sounds like a nightmare and it sounds like you are better off out of it. It's a shame for the children and for you as it's not the best time to job hunt but I really hope you find something that doesn't have a lunatic boss. My lunatic boss is calling. Good luck

PixiNanny · 19/03/2009 22:23

Are you still working for her during this 5 week period? hat the hell is her problem? Employer from hell somewhat!

nannyL · 19/03/2009 22:29

OMG is all i have to say

you are better off out of there... fired for not answering your phone while in church at a christening while not at work... have herd a few random things but have never herd of that!

Original poster

marypoppins2 · 20/03/2009 20:37

I have a signed letter of notice now saying she has to pay me. I'm just gritting my teeth and smiling sweetly for the next 2 weeks. It's such a shame for the kids as we have a strong bond, which makes me a good nanny and is the main thing she hates. I told her that I'm not forcing her to go to work if she wants child care then she has to realise that the kids and I are going to have fun without her and I can't force them to play with her if they want to do things with me. Every mum has to make the decision to either go back to work or stay at home and raise the kids and if she chooses to go to work then she has to realise that the kids will come to rely on their nanny.

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 21/03/2009 08:42

I'm so sorry this has ended like this - do you have another job?
What does she say when you point out she has no hold on YOUR time when you're not at work? I can't believe she doesn't get that!

NiftyNanny · 21/03/2009 12:08

Oh Dear Oh Dear. A woman who wants her children to be miserable without her? Poor children!!

You sound like a good nanny alright, but how dare you not pander to her needs 24 hours a day!? Didn't you see the clause about being her emotional crutch?

Honestly!!

That does sound like a pretty sad situation to be honest, I do worry about the children in all of this. Thank goodness you had a contract though, and can see through her hysterics.

gavel · 21/03/2009 12:20

Sue her.
Unfair dismissal.

SkintColditz · 21/03/2009 12:22

Nutter!

nannyL · 21/03/2009 12:27

i hope she realises she cant legally replace you for 3 months!

nbee84 · 21/03/2009 15:00

Surely that's only the case if she's been made redundant nannyL? That's not the cae here, she's been sacked (by a neurotic mother!!!)

nannyL · 21/03/2009 15:07

oh yes... the mum sounds barking mad... but i think she has been given notice which surely all employers are allowed to do at any time?

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/03/2009 15:19

Every mum has to make the decision to either go back to work or stay at home and raise the kids and if she chooses to go to work then she has to realise that the kids will come to rely on their nanny

i think this is a bit harsh, some mums HAVE to go back to work, and its not really a choice for them, maybe your mb really wants to be asahm but just cant afford to if has a big mortgage etc

this is one of the reasons why i ask at interviews, why does the mum work, if they say they have to, i stay clear - the ones who say they want to are better to work for imo

anyway hope your last few weeks are too stressful and hopefully you can stay in touch with the children,and yes tech a mb can give a nanny notice, just as a nanny can hand hers in

jack99 · 21/03/2009 15:35

An employer cannot just sack an employee (and this is what giving notice is) without a good reason. A good reason would have to be gross misconduct warranting summary dismissal, other misconduct after going through a proper disciplinary procedure, or redundancy. If you are made redundant your employer cannot replace you.

It sounds as if your employer has no good reason to sack you therefore you have a good case to take your emplyer to an industrial tribunal and claim compensation.

That is the law. You may or may not want to do this, but employers cannot just throw employees out on a whim.

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/03/2009 15:46

op has only been there 7mths, does the same rules apply? Thought there was a min of a year

seems a bit unfair that a nanny can leave if she gets offered a better job etc, but if the employer gets rid of the nanny, then it could go to a tribunal

nbee84 · 21/03/2009 16:08

Yes, she's been asked to leave for such a silly reason. I sympathise with you marypoppins2 because although it sounds like you are much better off out of there it is a difficult job market at the moment and though you leaving the job is the best thing it's always a bit difficult to explain that to a potential employer who doesn't know you and doesn't know the ins and outs of the job that you are leaving. jack99 unfortunately, because she has been there for under a year there is not a lot she can do about it, unfair .

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