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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

CM and time keeping!! Advice please!

25 replies

slipperandpjsmum · 16/03/2009 20:52

We have a cm for our middle two children. My daughter has just told me our CM was so late picking them up tonight that they ended up sitting in the headteachers office. I have only been back at work for a few weeks and this is the fourth time she has been late but never so late they ended up in the headteachers office. I have mentioned time management on numerous occassions but it makes no difference. Feel really upset about this. What would you do??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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geraldinetheluckygoat · 16/03/2009 21:04

talk to her and tell her clearly how you feel.
Ask her what happened to make her late. Does she have a lot of small ones asleep in the afternoon, does she have to get them up to do the school run? sometimes in this situation, you can be delayed having to do nappies, waking kids up, dealing with children who might be potty training and have an accident as you are going out of the door. But, she should be factoring all this in really, sounds more like she just might be soneone who struggles to get there on time.....

HSMM · 17/03/2009 09:30

I have only ever been late once on a school run in 10 years ... and I phoned the school to ask them to supervise the child I was supposed to pick up until I got there.

nomoreamover · 17/03/2009 09:56

Its difficult not to be late sometimes - as geraldine mentions there are a whole host of things that can go wrong as you are walking out the door.

Also some CMs I know do a school run for two different schools - if the first school is late letting a child out that can mess up the whole schedule for a CM - or maybe a parent is persistantly late picking up?....

You need to establish why the lateness is occuring - as geraldine says - it will make a difference to how you feel - if she is being let down by another parent/school then you need to ask her to speak to the culprit and sort it out.

If she's just hopeless at time keeping...maybe you need a new CM?........

Original poster

slipperandpjsmum · 17/03/2009 14:40

I have asked why and it does seem to quote nomoreamover she is hopeless with timekeeping. Once in 10 years as HSMM but 4 times in 5 weeks?? She has no other children apart from her own and I understand there can be delays as far as her own children are concerned (I have 4 children myself) but to leave my children as the last ones in the school is upsetting. It has now come out my daughter who is only just five is sent from the infant playgound to the junior playground (which is out of sight) to collect her brother whilst the CM returns to her car where she has left her own children and then my children cross the carpark to meet her back at the car. I feel this is wrong on so many levels. Would you do this when collecting your mindees?

OP posts:

minderjinx · 17/03/2009 14:55

I wouldn't let mindees (or my own young children) out of my sight or hearing, and certainly would not let them negotiate areas with traffic alone. I would tell her this is unacceptable and if it happened again, or if she disagreed, I would look elsewhere for your childcare.

looneytune · 17/03/2009 14:59

After your last post I'd say get a new CM. I wouldn't leave my own children or mindees, end of!! It's her job to meet your child at their class when they finish. Gosh, I've been a few mins late a couple of times as a baby decides to poo just as you put their shoes on therefore meaning nappy change and late arrival but 4 times in 5 weeks as you said it's terrible plus her routine for pick up isn't safe imo. Gosh, the last thing you need when you've just started a new job is all this stress!!! If she's this bad now when she's new to you, what will she be like later?!!!

HSMM · 17/03/2009 16:44

Ofsted do not even like the idea that the Year 5 children walk out of school to my car, which is in full sight of them all the time and about 20 yds! They said I should walk to the school gate, taking the 3 sleepy toddlers from the back of the car with me. I risk assessed it with them and they gave in !!! But ... not out of sight and not crossing a car park and never late.

geraldinetheluckygoat · 17/03/2009 16:45

eek no i would be unhappy with this too. as a cm, I would never leave kids in car, my own or not when doing school pick up. You just have to accept that you have to cart them all out and then back again, which is a total pain, butthere is no other safe way to do it, as far as im concerned.

lisad123 · 17/03/2009 16:49

get a new CM IMO, its not on at all. I have never been late for picking up dd1 and i have a baby too. My CM is never late!

Nabster · 17/03/2009 16:55

I used to be a nanny and am now a mum. The having a young child walking unsupervised to another play ground and then across the car park is a huge no no. On the odd occasion I have to supervise someone elses child I find I watch them more carefully than I might my own at times.

It is definitely talk time and even a mention of notice will be given if xyz is done again.

Original poster

slipperandpjsmum · 18/03/2009 10:44

Thanks so much to everyone who replied. Picked my daughter up from school yesterday and when she came out she said you stay here mummy you wait here I will get my brother I will be very quick you just wait here, when I said we would go together she said no mummy I go very quickly on on my own, she seemed very worried and that was it for me, feel very betrayed by CM we are going to speak with her today about how upset and disappointed we feel. All your advice has been such a great support - so thank you all once again.

OP posts:

JenniPenni · 18/03/2009 11:36

'It has now come out my daughter who is only just five is sent from the infant playgound to the junior playground (which is out of sight) to collect her brother whilst the CM returns to her car where she has left her own children and then my children cross the carpark to meet her back at the car. I feel this is wrong on so many levels. Would you do this when collecting your mindees?'

NEVER. Shocking
Hope your chat goes well x

nomoreamover · 18/03/2009 11:44

slipper -let us know how the "talk" goes - although personally I'd be inclined to just give notive and go elsewhere citing the reasons above....

Good luck!

Nabster · 18/03/2009 18:45

Why did your DD not want you to go with her?

Original poster

slipperandpjsmum · 18/03/2009 19:12

Tonight she was 40 mins late dropping them off. I said I felt that what she was doing was not safe and my daughter appeared upset by what was happening. CM assured me it was fine and said she often leaves her children (aged 5 months and 2) in the car when she pops into the shops at that point I felt firstly she did not understand what my concerns were and secondly I just do not trust her anymore so we have parted company. Also found out tonight she had two new mindees which she did not tell me about, only found out because they were sitting in the car this evening Feel very sad about it as she does interact well with the children and is good on lots of levels but as far as risk and timekeeping are concerned - well!! Thinking about how I could have handled it differently maybe I should have been more specific about pick up arrangements but we went to school together to do the first pick up, showed her where I park and how I wait outside both classrooms rather than sending my daughter to pick up!! It never crossed my mind things could have gone so wrong!!

OP posts:

BoysAreLikeDogs · 18/03/2009 19:18

It's for the best, what a dreadful situation.

Hope you find a suitable CM soon.

Northernlurker · 18/03/2009 19:44

You've done the right thing. You were paying her to collect your children, not leave them feeling abandoned and then have to hurry to not keep her waiting. I think that's why your dd laid stress on being quick. As a mother I often tell my children to hurry up and be quick - that's fine I'm their mother and it's within our family context, not somebody being paid to provide a service - in that context I would hate to think of my girls being rushed and whilst I would let them cross a car park alone now (aged 8 and 11) it's unreasonable to expect a five year old to be responsible for herself or to be in the charge of a slightly older child.

Good luck finding something else!

lindseyfox · 18/03/2009 19:54

you have def done the right thing and her leaving her own young children in car when she pops into a shop is a big no no we all know its a hassle getting children out of the care to pop into a shop but thats life and you have to do it.

Nabster · 18/03/2009 20:02

You hav definitely done the right thing, well done.

I hope your DD is okay.

underpaidandoverworked · 18/03/2009 21:47

I would also have a word with your school - ours will only release a 5yr old into the care of an adult they know and would never allow them to leave otherwise! You've done the right thing - don'be put off cms, think yours was a 1-off and certainly not what a cm usually does! Good luck

hatesponge · 18/03/2009 22:04

I think you have done the right thing.

I have had reservations about our CM for a while (lateness getting to school in the morning, feeding them certain foods I'd prefer they didn't eat, and the highlight, once walking home from school having left 1 DC behind cos she had so many children with her - 8 on that occasion - she didnt notice he wasnt with her until she was halfway there.......)

DC are leaving at end of school year, and are a fair bit older than yours OP. And my ex is insistent they keep going to her. So I've let it slide. I do feel I'm letting them down a bit, even though it is for only a few months more

underpaidandoverworked · 18/03/2009 22:19

Years ago when I used a cm, she completely forgot to pick dc up! Got call from school asking who would be coming to get them - when I rang her to find out where she was she was at the hairdressers ! Worse still she was a (very soon afterwards ex) friend.

Now, as a cm myself, I always make sure I am on time and if am going to be late, (only happened once in 4yrs, due to ds jumping up for a cuddle and popping my lip, blood everywhere! ) I ring the school to let them know.

Hatesponge - 8 children in tow? OMG, couldn't cope with that many in my home at the same time!!! DH would leave me - or would work late every night

Nabster · 19/03/2009 11:03

hatesponge Does it impact on your ex who does the child care when you can't? I wouldn't take notice if it was me, not happy, then they go. A few months can seem a very long time.

Original poster

slipperandpjsmum · 19/03/2009 18:40

From my recent experience a few days can seem like life time when you are not happy with childcare!

OP posts:

nomoreamover · 19/03/2009 19:38

best thing to do all round I'd say.

Well done

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