South African Child Minder Needed

[nadiazaayman]

Hi, my husband and I are both South African. Our first child will be born in early April. I am looking for a Childminder who is afrikaans speaking with south african culture to look after our son (preferably with other south african kids) for a few hours during the week - only from September 2009 - he should then be 6 months. I live in Mortimer, Berkshire (RG7) and work in Basingstoke (RG24).

It's not different from saying French or Welsh childminder wanted or South African, Kiwi, Aussie, French, German, Martian nanny wanted. The OP wants her child to experience an environment as similar to their home life as possible (afrikaans speaking, similar cultural outlook). Isn't that supposed to be the point of home-based childcarers as well as being inclusive etc.?

In this case it's not the childminder who is saying she will only look after South African children, it's someone who would prefer a childminder who cares for other South African children. Presumably she isn't going to discriminate if there happen to be children from other cultures there, it's just that her preference (clearly stated as one) is for someone with other South African children. If it happened to be a childminder advertising for South African children then I would have a problem becuase it's not inclusive and that childminder is clearly not open to everyone.

becj53 - I personally wouldn't flame you for that. If your preference is for a British childminder then that's your preference. Just because you're British in England you have the right to choose a British childminder over another nationality from a pool of childminders who are open to you. If you were Irish in England and wanted an Irish childminder that's understandable, if you were Welsh in England and wanted a Welsh childminder that's understandable, if you were German in England and wanted a German childminder that is too and if you were English living in Peru and wanted an English childminder then that's equally understandable. This happens to be a South African living in England wanting a South African childminder.

looneytune - South African is a nationality. My best friend here has American nationality, does that tell you what race she is? She could be any race. I have British nationality, does that tell you anything about what box I tick on those equality and diversity forms?

Rant over.

I think the issue is with public stipulation of what you want.

If I wanted a British childminder I would probably go and see a number and would privately choose the British one iyswim.

and IMO you are unlikely to find a childminder who is south african and afrikaans speaking and will be like a home from home because I presume that such a childminder wouldn't be allowed to reject english speaking children and thus the cultures would merge.

because libra, they have chosen to live in this country

So? just because they have chosen to live in this country (and for all we know it might be temporarily for work) doesn't mean they have to completely forget about where they came from or want to bring their child up billingual and knowing about where his parents came from.

Also that argument is nothing to do with your original post.

ok whatever

i just get jarred off with feeling like you have to be careful about who you offend all the time, when my sons nativity play was canceled as it offended someone.

and i am aware that that has nothing to do with my original post either

i wonder what OP is going to think when she gets back online and sees that she has zillions of posts only to find that it has become argumentative and real MN post!

I think this is absurd.
I advertised for a native Italian speaking nanny. If I want my dd to be bilingual and I work full time, the only way it will happen is to get a native Italian speaker. The cultural aspect is important too. It DOES NOT MEAN you are not integrating or involved in THIS COUNTRY, you can have multiple cultures and languages during your upbringing.

You are reading racism into something that just does not exist.

wannabe - that's funny because I distinctly remembering hearing my DH's BIL speaking Afrikaans to a white Zimbabwean at my wedding.......and he's most definitely black.

I think we're far too sensitive about saying things that might, possibly, if taken the wrong way, read on the night of a new moon when Venus is aligned the wrong way, offend. Blatantly offensive comments = clearly wrong. Politically correct pussyfooting = ridiculous. Our children will grow up not knowing how to approach a subject directly for fear of offending someone rather than able to treat things in a pragmatic yet sensitive manner.

And at cancelling the nativity play. Would they cancel a Diwali or Chinese New Year celebration on the same grounds? I feel that there are some things which, if you are offended by, you should remove yourself from. I object to the wholesale celebration and commercial glorification of Halloween. I could go so far as to say I'm offended by it. But I deal with that by removing myself from it, do not "celebrate" it by trick-or-treating or cutting up pumpkins and don't go around telling people how offensive it is.

Slightly off topic now...

Back on it - I agree the cultures probably would merge, hence my saying "as similar to their home life as possible" rather than a home away from home. But a childminder with ties to any culture is going to have more of an influence of that culture in their setting than a childminder with no ties to a particular culture, whether that be Japanese, Spanish or South African.

OP I hope you find a childminder you are happy with, who will support you in your efforts to raise your child bilingually with ties to your own culture and that of the country you live in. I think that is all anyone can hope for.

And apologies for ranting again.

"I am looking for a Childminder who is afrikaans speaking with south african culture to look after our son (preferably with other south african kids)"

She is clearly asking for a SA minder who is afrikaans speaking.

If I lived close enough to help her I would be offended by this because
a) I worked out this morning 2/3rd of my client base are of South African or Zimbabwean heritage - in fact at one time a year or two ago my entire client base was from Zimbabwe........
b) I am totally open to deeply religious families and have cared for JWs as well as strong CofE and RC types....
c) I am making a real effort to learn key words in Afrikaans
d) I have studied SA history in some detail at uni

According to the OP I wouldn't be "good enough" because I wasn't born in the right country in the first place.....I think what some people are trying to get across (albeit not very politely!) that its just the way the request has been put across. Like the OP isn't prepared to consider someone who isn't from SA. I mean if I was from Zim and spoke Afrikaans - would she reject me because I was from the Republic of SA? I think OP is being shot down because we don't get what she is asking for and why she is asking for it...she may have a very good reason - for example they are only here on a one year job secondment and need their child to be able to reintergrate into SA society on their return.....

And to the person who said "they have chosen to live here" - actually if they are from SA or Zimbabwe - actually they may NOT have chosen to live here. My Zimbabwean clients would much prefer to be at home.....sadly some bastard has taken their home and given them no choice but to flee. I hardly think thats grounds to get all "when in Rome" on them do you?......

sorry should say "wasn't" from the Republic of SA

all getting rather messy, isn't it?

is this the right time to offer pop-corn?

FAQ a vast majority of black south Africans do speak Afrikaans, because until only recently English and Afrikaans were the only two official languages of South Africa, and therefore most black south Africans would be working for white english or Afrikaans speaking employers.

But as a black south african Afrikaans would not be their first language, iyswim.

Obviously things have changed now and South africa has eleven official languages of which English and Afrikaans are just two.

But Afrikaans is spoken as a first language only by white and mixed-race south Africans.

But why would you be offended because you don't meet the requirements of the OP? I'm really not trying to cause an argument or be nasty in case you take this the wrong way but you don't speak afrikaans (although you're learning key words) and the OP wants an afrikaans speaking childminder, we assume to support her child's bilingualism. That would be like me being offended because a Russian oil company wants a bilingual Russian/English PA. I speak English and some key words in Russian but I couldn't cope in a Russian working environment. I certainly couldn't support a child's bilingualism. I applaud your efforts though and, were I South African and unable to access a South African childminder, you sound like an excellent choice.

Everything else I agree wth you.

And now I have to go pick up from school.

but the op wants her child in a south African environment. Even though she is living in this country.

Would it be ok to advertise for a childminder who had only english speaking children? I think not somehow. Therefore it is no less right to advertise for one who has south African children.

I don't think there's anything wrong with advertising for a cm who speaks Afrikaans, what I think is wrong is that the op has also specified that she would like the child to be raised with other south Africans, as opposed to just wanting someone who speaks her child's language.

well I suppose so Wannabe - in the same way that my DH's family learnt English at school because that was the only language that was taught in. Their mother tongue is Shona, but they all speak fluent English (I was once asked if I was the foreign one and my DH the Brit )

Can we not (it is their first child in a foreign country...) give the poster the benefit of the doubt, and assume she does not realise how inclusive us childminders (no matter our nationality) are trained to be and (mostly) naturally are, towards ALL children?

I certainly did not know the extent of inclusion prior to looking into becoming a childminder (so can see how she doesn't)... I have been amazed by the acceptance and resource available in England.

Plus... race was not mentioned or alluded to... people in South Africa speak a variety of languages more often than not, and ALL colours could just as easily speak Afrikaans.

'bush tea...'

I presume she specified she would prefer other SA children as then maybe the predominant language in the child minding house would be Afrikaans.

It would be interesting if she came back and told us what she meant even if we frightened her off for good after that.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to pass on your language and culture to your child, especially when you are living in a different country. I really can't see why people are so upset - clients can narrow down CMs by whatever requirements they want, and this mum is looking for a specific type of CM for her multicultural child.

Bloody hell, have we scared away this op too??!

To be honest I am not surprised the OP has gone away, I didn't take this as at all offensive, she just wants her children to understand SA culture and be in an environment where they could potentially start to speak afrikaans.

bloody ridiculous

had she been asking for someone French, doubt it would have caused all this ridiculous fuss