My opinion as a nanny...

[PixiNanny]

Reading through the forum and it's threads, I've noticed a lot of employers here just seem to assume that their au pairs/nannies will 'take initiative' and do things. Well really, if you don't tell us what to do then we wouldn't see a need to do it.

So yes, just to say, communication really is important, we can't read minds ladies (and gentlemen)!

My opinon as a neutral bystander;

There are equal threads complaining "My nanny didn't think to..." and "I can't believe my nanny did X when I hadn't said it was ok"

You can't have everything and most nannies I have met would rather not asssume something and get it wrong as they would have activley steeped out of bounds. It is simpler and easier to stick to your instructions!

using your initiative is quite important too IMO

its common sense

would piss me off too if i had to tell someone every basic thing

if i didnt use my initiative in my job id quickly be out the door

Oh yes initiative is important, but for things like cleaning the bathroom, dusting, etc, well why should we be expected to do it? If I'm asked to I will but I won't actively go out of my way to do it (we do have a cleaning who comes once a week though).

V.true nailpolish, same here.

The last family I worked for told me diddly squat! They could hardly speak English.

I had to judge for myself when breakfast, bath, nap time was etc...

When the aunty came to see how the children were she used to ask me 'has this been done, has that been done'?
My answer 'yes'

They asked me back a week later to go to their other house miles away from me....

No Thanks! Those kids were so disobedient. Even when I tried to teach them manners thier aunty would just ruin it all by giving them sweets!

Well as a nanny I have always used my initiative. If I see something needs doing then I will do it. I wouldn't expect my employers to have to remind me to clean the childrens bedrooms/bathrooms, tidy up, do washing or ironing etc. I've always made sure bins are emptied, the dishwashers loaded/unloaded, the house is tidy ( I'm not employed to clean but if the dogs come in with dirty feet I'm not going to leave it for my employers when they come in. ) the children have adequate clean clothes, all the childrens areas are clean and tidy etc. I would hate my employer to feel she had to remind me to do what I consider normal 'nursery duties'. That said I did have one employer who had a go at me because I hadn't posted a letter that she'd left on the table. I do think she should have asked me!

employing an ap is very different from employing a professional nanny

aps are their to help with childcare and housework

the average nanny will do nursery/children duties/washing etc but isnt there to clean the house

tbh it is common sense what needs to be done as a nanny and i use my initiative

there is no point mb employing me and then telling me what needs to be done - a nanny should know!!

my mb goes off to work knowing that everything will be taken care of by me - and thats what she pays me for

I'm amazed at the number of MNetters who moan about their AP's "stupidity" but are happy to leave their young children in "stupid" AP's care.

Oh, is this nanny/au pair employer bashing thread? I can't really think of any reason to start a thread like this on a site for mums/dads in the childcare section unless of course the very purpose of the thread is to start a fight.

Anyone selling popcorn? I like mine salty.

In case we seriously discussing the level of initiative I expect from my nanny (which I am a tad about)...

I expect my nanny to take the initiative to do the things she is already aware are in her scope of work. That means I expect her to execute the duties outlined in the contract as well as things which have been communicated verbally, on email, and noted in the nanny diary, as well as informal chats which we have before and after my work.

I don't expect her to read my mind. But, I don't think initiative is synonymous with psychic abilities.

Athene if the post hadn't been written by a nanny I would have said it was another nanny/au pair bashing as it basically implys nannies/au pairs are too thick to use their own initiative and see what needs doing!

An employer should be able to expect a nanny to be efficient without having to tell her everything.

Obviously an au pair is different so will probably need more guidence. A lot of au pairs are young and possibly not used to doing things for themselves let alone other people!

Yes, I agree. Of course an au pair requires more on the job training. Hence the rate of pay.

I was just saying that employers should speak to their nannies/aps more about what should be expected of them and not just assume that the nanny would do it automatically.

Yes I keep things tidy and whatnot but if I haven't noticed something has run out or whatever (for example stocks of meat we have in the freezer, I'm a veggie and rarely cook meat for my charges) I'd expect my MB to tell me so I can buy more, (which she does), she doesn't expect me to automaticaly do something I'm not aware of. And mopping/cleaning bathrooms, if you've never made it clear to your ap/nanny that you wat them to clean the bathrooms (as in a proper clean) then how does she you expect her to do it.

I see a lot of bashing threads on here and mainly it invbolves you guys expecting things of your nanny, so I was suggesting that you mention it to them and discuss it with them rather than just come on here and moan about them.

I really don't understand why everything just turns into some form of argument online, it was just a little note to say we'd appreciate being told things.

But on a lot of these threads the employers are telling them - usually again and again and again - and things are still not getting done despite lists and handbooks. I haven't seen a thread where an employer is complaining because the nanny / au pair hasn't done something they haven't actually told them to do or is very obvious ie. Empty the over flowing bin.

As for employers moaning on here.....er hello! NJ has some pretty whingy threads. Forums are designed for people to voice their problems/complaints/opinions etc. If everyone agreed with each other it would very boring!

Well, that's not how I read the threads on here, Pixi. I see a lot of frustration from employers who are tired of saying the same thing day in and day out.

I do think that often when things go wrong there is an element of a lack of communication. And that can go both ways. But, I also think if an employer comes on here with a gripe, there are plenty of posters who tell him/her so. This is a very honest place and people do say what they think.

Also, there are a fair few employers on here who have supported some nannies when they have bad employers. So let's not have an us (nannies) vs. them (employers) thread because I don't think any good will come of it.

NJ does have whingy threads, I didn't claim that it didn't? I was just stating something that I thought might be helpful, there is no need to get on my back about it. It's exactly the same as what I say to the girls at NJ if they have trouble with their employers, speak to them, communication is key.

I didn't mean it as an us vs them as you say, I meant it as a "try communicate with them" because if communication doesn't work then are they really right for the family?

I haven't once had a go, I merely made a suggestion that everyone is taking ott and valiantly defending themselves, yet haven't actually acknowledged the simple fact of what I was saying: communicate.

But does anyone need to be told to communicate? It's a bit patronizing tbh. I'm sure most nannies and most employers do communicate. It's when people don't listen that employers/nannies come on here for advice or a moan.

to be honest one of the major reason why we employ nannies rather than Au pairs is because we expect them to use their initiative and that is what we pay for.

My office junior on minimum wage is expected to a certain extent to use her initiative !

ebb interesting. My DS came in with dirty shoes on Wedsnesday evening. Mud all over the floor. The nanny ignored it as she is not paid to clean as she constantly reminds me and I ended up hoovering up at 8.30 last night in my suit and high heels. She had stepped over it for 24 hours!

GGGRRRR!!

we ALL know that your nanny no1andno2 does sweet fuck all!!!

if your nanny had cleaned ds shoes - which i think is part of nanny dutie (esp as she does bugger all, all day)

then

there wouldnt be any mud on the floor for her to hoover up

I had an au pair once that was given the same "timetable" and "handbook" as the other au pairs.

She then still didn't know what was expected of her.

We sat her down and went over everything again.

She still didn't get it.

I did her a "tick list" of things to do and although things got a little better, she still didn't get it.

It gets so annoying when you've not only written things down but have also verbally asked for things to be done and it still doesn't get done.

In the end we asked her to leave as it was creating an atmosphere.

'initiative' is a very tricky word.

first of all many parents choose the childcare with 'money' as first factor. This means they will take an aupair or young nanny with no experience in order to save on the wages . Which is ok for those who struggle (many mums dont earn much theirselves so they have no other option) but it is wrong - in my opinion - for those who can afford better childcare and piece of mind if they pay more wages.

Money aside, 'initiative' is tricky word because can bring another issue which is 'control'. I think the more confident the mum is -as a mother and as a person- the more likely to employ a good nanny, experienced and intelligent, and have a happy relationship. The less confident mums seem to moan if the nanny doesn't have initiative and ... moan even more if the nanny does

No1andno2 that's shocking! Whilst I agree nannies aren't there to clean, I do believe that any mess made by the children comes under the realms of 'nursery duties' and therefore should be cleaned up by the nanny. ( Obviously that doesn't mean leaving all the mess and dirt from the weekend for nanny on Monday morning! ) I hope your nanny makes up for her laziness lack of cleaning in other ways?

Tiramissu has got it spot on.
It depends on the confidence and security of the mother. All my bosses have been hopelessly insecure and it drives me round the bend as I pay the price for it.
Sometimes as a nanny you can't do wrong for doing right. Sometimes as an employer you have exactly the same problem. It's a dance of decorum.