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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Au Pair-How much to leave for food?

45 replies

whooosh · 06/03/2009 08:00

We are going on holiday for 2 weeks and will be leaving the Au Pair house-sitting while we are away.

We will of course still pay her usual money but how much should we leave on top for food?

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NewTeacher · 06/03/2009 08:34

about £20-25 per week.

Squiffy · 06/03/2009 10:03

take her with you to buy her the food and put it in the freezer.

My AP's have usually been hopeless with the cost of things - olives, organic free-range (duchy of cornwall FFS!) chicken, and packs of cheese with cholestrol-busting ingredients are just 3 examples of my AP's unwittingly breaking the bank down Sainsbury's.

ingles2 · 06/03/2009 10:06

I left £35-£40 a week. About £5 a day for food.
I always left it up to them as well incase they wanted to eat out, share with friends.

PixiNanny · 06/03/2009 10:09

I spend £40 a week on food for the family and me. Depends what she eats. If I didn't cook for the kids I'd be more than happy to live off of homemade soup and pasta! Which, as you probably know, costs next to nothing!

PixiNanny · 06/03/2009 10:11

Oh, and have you asked her to buy the cheaper stuff? My host family specifically instructed me from day one to buy good quality, free range/organic food whenever possible but if you haven't told her your preferences then maybe you should consider it, just saying "Don't spend so much." won't actually do anything if she's wondering where she can cut out money?

Original poster

whooosh · 06/03/2009 10:12

Thank you....

Oh Squiffy I am glad it isn't just me.I am in no way a mean person but this girl is eating us out of house and home.

We rarely eat as a family due to erratic work etc so we make sure there is alawys food for her.She wrote on the shopping list this week....red meat,alfalfa sprouts,raspberries,puff pastry,muesli and something else which I thought a bit cheeky.

I don't want her to go hungry while we are away (and there will be plenty of stuff in the fridge and freezer) but I kind of hope she might just realise the cost of things if we leave her a certain amount.

OP posts:

ingles2 · 06/03/2009 10:15

yes, but it's much easier to spend less if you are shopping for a family, it costs pretty much the same to shop for one.
and £5 a day for 3 meals is not exactly excessive.
It's not really very fair to ask the AP to budget excessively for food whilst you are on holiday!

Original poster

whooosh · 06/03/2009 10:16

Pixinanny-in answer to your question,she doesn't do any of the shopping,I do it.

I don't expect her to eat "cheaper" food than us,just not demand stuff we rarely (if ever(blimmin' alfalfa sprouts)buy.

I guess maybe we are too relaxed and haven't told her she "can't eat this or that".I just hoped that she might show some consideration and not eat one of two chicken breasts left for our supper,as an example.

She is 21 and Australian so no great cultural problems or language barrier either.

OP posts:

ingles2 · 06/03/2009 10:16

I suggest you don't leave loads of stuff in the fridge or freezer then Whoosh. Give her the money so she can learn to work out how much things cost.

Original poster

whooosh · 06/03/2009 10:18

Guess I was very lucky when we had nannies-neither of them were ever a problem when it came to food.

AP had steak for lunch yesterday!

OP posts:

ingles2 · 06/03/2009 10:18

well did she know those 2 chicken breasts were for your supper? What was for her supper?

Original poster

whooosh · 06/03/2009 10:20

Good point ingles2-I really don't want to be mean but equally can't afford to be overly generous.....

OP posts:

Original poster

whooosh · 06/03/2009 10:22

I bought her some frying steak (as requested),there were sausages (as per her request) plus all usual stuff in cupboards.I didn't specifically tell her, no...so I am to blame.
I know she isn't a mind-reader but knowing DP and I eat late I assumed,she would assume the chicken breasts x 2 were for us.

OP posts:

no1andno2 · 06/03/2009 10:24

we have an austaralian nanny who spends a small fortune on food. Everything is organic and she throws a huge amount away.

In the end I stopped her shopping. we were getting through 200 a week for the family.

Now I will buy what she leaves on the list but a lot of the time she buys her own stuff as she prefers it that way.

In answer to op I would say £50 a week is more than adequate and a nice gesture as you will be away

ingles2 · 06/03/2009 10:24

Do you treat her as a member of the family when it comes to food Whoosh? What I mean is... if my ds's asked for something ridiculous in the supermarket, I'd just bluntly say nope, too expensive.
When she writes her list, go through it and say, Sorry Ap, Raspberries are out of season atm, way too expensive, I'll get some extra bananas.
You've got to be honest about what you can/can't afford or they'll hope for the best.

PixiNanny · 06/03/2009 10:35

Ah right, I do the weeks shopping every Monday for mine and the kids meals as I cook for them
Yeah, it is a bit odd. And things like muesli can be so easily made for much cheaper than you can buy it in a packet! Nuts, raisins, oats and there you go, get a big resealable tub and she's sorted for months

puff pastry?! what on earth does she want that for?! and raspberries are a nice treat, but maybe she should think more locally, cheaper and better for the environment I didn't mean giving her cheaper food, it's just if it's what you prefer to eat than make her share things with you things like cheese and veg, then she won't be asking for silly and ridiculous things at higher prices.

The general consensus here is that If I buy food for meals I eat with the kids they pay, if I buy things for myself and meals for me I will generally cover the cost (like at the weekend I buy a packet of noodles of something or if they go away and I run out of quorn mince).

And actually, not being funny or anything, but I'm a veggie and very fussy with food yet I buy specialised veggie stuff all the time and I can cover my weekly food budget with 40, 50 quid at most? Don't give her too much, that's all I'm saying.

Hm, if she has things at her request surely she should eat those?

Gods I am glad I'm a veggie, never have food problems really here! (Apart from sweets, as in me guiltily nicking the few sweets the kids have! I don't mean too, they're just there!

Original poster

whooosh · 06/03/2009 10:49

Good advice here-thank you.

She is treated as one of the family as far as food is concerned but DD (3.75) has never asked me for something too expensive (food wise anyway)

She is on a good "wage" and only does about 15hrs a week-we are very nice to her and I know I am getting worked up about something so simple.

She took a packed breakfast and lunch (after she had eaten one breakfast)when she went shopping the other day (weekend)

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PixiNanny · 06/03/2009 11:24

Haha, thats a bit cheeky XD

I take whats offered to me at weekends, no harm in that! But I travel a lot, normally 3-6 hours train journeys, so I take a packed lunch, buy my own crisps and yoghurt and knick a cheese sandwich and cheese string from MB, who usually tries to get me to take other food too.

And anyways, I can't really expect them to buy a 6 pack of crisps just for me (kids aren't allowed them) so I buy them with my money and keep them in my room where the kids won't see it (I rarely eat them, only when travelling, just an example!)

Podrick · 06/03/2009 11:36

"red meat,alfalfa sprouts,raspberries,puff pastry,muesli"...I just don't think any of these are unreasonable things for your AP to put on a shopping list.

However, obviously you need to budget for family meals so if you don't want to buy this stuff and if you already buy plenty of other things for her to eat then it is not unreasonable to ask her to pay for items herself if you wouldn't normally buy them.

Podrick · 06/03/2009 11:37

I would say £30 to £40 a week for food is about right.

Original poster

whooosh · 06/03/2009 11:40

Our nannies ate whatever we had in the house,I guess we were lucky.
I really don't want to have to get seperate stuff (at additional cost) in for the AP.

Whilst we rarely eat altogether,I often cook enough for the 3 of us but we eat it at different times.

I will buy raspberries for DD out of season but not for me so won't for AP.

It looks like £35 is a fair amount then.

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ingles2 · 06/03/2009 11:59

Ahhh if your dd is only 3.5 Whoosh, you haven't got to the stage of dc's eating extraordinary amounts of food yet or asking for strange and expensive things in the supermarket. My 2 boys 7&9 and the AP could pack enormous quantities of food away during one week. You just need to make sure you have plenty of bread for toast, pasta and fruit.

Original poster

whooosh · 06/03/2009 12:08

Oh joy!-more to look forward to!

I have kept loads of bread in (we eat very little) but she just chomp her way through the wraps I buy for DD.
Pasta-she has eaten once in 3wks she has been here when I cooked it.

I actually think she may have food issues-constantly talks about losing weight,eats very few carbs,is 6ft tall and a size 8 but doesn't seem to stop eating.....not sure what "food issues",other than she eats lots but she def doesn't need to lose weight.

OP posts:

Original poster

whooosh · 06/03/2009 12:09

Oh sorry-she does eat carbs-3 bananas (minimum) a day.....

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Belgianchocolates · 06/03/2009 12:14

Hmm, I never send au pairs shopping, unless it's with a list. I have always said from the beginning that I'm happy to add some things for them within reason, but if it's something we don't eat as a family and is purely for herself as a snack then it needs to come from her pocket money. It was the same for me when I was an ap (over a decade ago!). We've never had any problems with food.
I think doing the shopping together and freezing things is the way to go. Saying that so far all of our ap's would have been happy to live of frozen pizza and ready made pasta for a couple of weeks, so no interesting requests like alfalfa or puff pastry with us!

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