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Original poster

school misunderstanding!

37 replies

steph29 · 05/03/2009 19:04

i'm a childminder and i have an agreement with the after school kids parent that they will walk home after school with my daughter (she's 10) they are 7 and 9 and the 9 yr old is in my daughters class. Sometimes i go and meet them anyway if i don't have babies sleeping at that time, but they don't expect me.

Today the 7 yr old came out of school late and the other 2 had waited ages and assumed they'd missed her so wandered off to look for her so of course she came out and they weren't there. They usually have a specific place they meet up to walk home together but once in a while they miss each other.

Another parent who knows the childrens mother saw the 7 yr old on her own and waited with her till the others found her, but then this woman had a go at my 10 year old daughter and said i shouldn't be looking after the kids and if it happened again she would report me.

I told their mum straight away and she was disgusted and said she would have a word with her. i think i know who it was from the discription and i'm very tempted to have words when i see her.

I can understand her concerns and wouldn't have minded if she said something to the parent or school they would have explained the situation she obviously thinks i'm just a bad childminder which has upset me, but i'm livid that she approached my daughter and slagged me off to her.
I don't want her slagging me off to other parents and getting a bad reputation as i work very hard and all my parents are happy.
with my service. Should i say something to her?

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katieloveskitty · 05/03/2009 19:15

The parent was wrong to have a go at your child. But, I can't believe that you or your mindee's parent think it is ok for a 10 year old to supervise a 7 year old. You are not minding the 7 year old, your DD is! What do ofsted think?

Simplyme · 05/03/2009 19:19

The parent was wrong to have a go at your daughter like that but TBH I think that your daughter is way to young to have responsibility for the 7 and 9 yr old! Horrible things happen to children walking home on their own and they should be met and walked home by an adult every day

ramonaquimby · 05/03/2009 19:21

absolutely agree - would never agree to a 10 year old walking home younger kids that you are responsible for

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 05/03/2009 19:25

how far do they have to walk?

if more than 5 minutes then I think you need to re-think this. It doesn't matter that the parents agree it's you and your license to childmind in jeopardy.

Cover yourself and always meet them.

Original poster
steph29 · 05/03/2009 19:27

we live literally round the corner from the school and there are no roads to cross.
A lot of kids in my daughters class walk home from school a lot further and she's been asking to be aloud to for 2 years and her dad said it would be good for a bit of independance.
I did wonder myself about my mindees walking home and their mum said she thought it was a good idea so long as they stay together, i also mentioned it to my inspector (and her boss who came with her) and she said it's up to the parent whatever she's happy with.
My daughter is never held respnsible for the others. if any one of them is off school i go and meet them.

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LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 05/03/2009 19:34

well given all that you've further said you've done nothing wrong according to the inspector and that woman was just being a twat

Original poster
steph29 · 05/03/2009 19:37

they walk home together and it's about a 3 minute walk. Is this really wrong? I was in 2 minds at first but when the parent agreed it i assumed it was ok and they've been doing it for 6 months with no probs till now. My daughter doesn't like it when i pick her up as her friends have their independance and walk home. She's always complaining her friends walk to the corner shop and to the park on their own and i still don't let her (and won't for a long time!) for which i have her dad moaning about me being overprotective.
It is a bit different when they aren't your own though and i do check the time and walk up to meet them if they're at all late and watch and half the time i meet them anyway.
I've had second thoughts now as i don't want anyone upset but when i suggested meeting them from now on to the parent this evening she said don't worry about it?!

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Original poster
steph29 · 05/03/2009 19:42

thanks for that lauriefairycakeeatscupid i've always thought of myself as being a good childminder but perhaps if any other parents at the school think this is not on than i should meet them from now on to cover my reputation! I see no need for concern of the kids safety, they walk round the corner and past the lollipop lady - i can see them coming out the window so i never considered it might be seen as wrong to other parents.

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CarGirl · 05/03/2009 19:43

I think it's fab that they walk home together.

It's a shame about all the neurotic helicopter parents that think at 7 years old a child is incapable of a 3 minute walk on their own with no roads to cross!!!!!!

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 05/03/2009 19:49

You are going to get all sorts of opinions on this issue - some people are paranoid a bit overprotective. Personally, I would be fine with it, as it is so close and there are no roads to cross.

Original poster
steph29 · 05/03/2009 19:50

the kids live on a council estate and have always played out in the streets with thier friends since they were 3 apparently unsupervised as all the families knew each other down their street, so they are quite streetwise. Although this is very different to my families lifestyle (i don't leave my kids out in the garden on their own!!) i tend to bend to suit my mindees parents wishes.

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kylesmyloveheart · 05/03/2009 20:08

if you dont leave your kids in the garden on their own why would you let a 7 year old in your care walk hone without you.

ds is 7 and we live 1 minute from the school. i would never let him walk over with another child.

can you imagine if something happened on the way home your daughter would feel guilty for the rest of her life. wonder if the mindees mum would be so happy if something happened to her daughter.

kylesmyloveheart · 05/03/2009 20:10

sorry meant to add - you say you bend to suit your mindees parents wishes - so was it her that asked you if she could walk home with your daughter or did you ask her?

katieloveskitty · 05/03/2009 20:11

Are you sure ofsted are ok with this? Sorry but I find that hard to believe as the 7 year old is not being supervised by you.

LadyPinkofPinkerton · 05/03/2009 20:19

At My Dses school, 7 year lods are allowed to walk home on their own as school policy. Not all parents allow this but many do and they walk a lot further than you are describing so I don't see the problem

seeker · 05/03/2009 20:19

Oh, of course it's OK for 10,9 and 7 year olds to walk 3 minutes home together if there's no roads to cross - it's COMPLETETLY bonkers to say otherwise!

What do people mean "anything' could happen? Lightning strike? Alien invasion? Zombie attack? A sudden urge to run away and join the circus? A detour to the corner shop to buy ..gsp...shock..horror..sweets?

seeker · 05/03/2009 20:21

It is SOOOOO bad for children to be watched all the time - they need space to grow and develop. Please let them out in their own garden unwatched!

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 05/03/2009 20:21

lol at seeker

willowthewispa · 05/03/2009 20:25

Of course it's ok for them to walk home together! People are far too paranoid these days.

So long as the mum is happy (and you have it in writing) and Ofsted ok'd it (I'd get that in writing too) then don't worry. The woman who had a go at your dd was well out of order!

katieloveskitty · 05/03/2009 20:26

But this is not OP's child. It is fine to make that choice with your own child but I have great doubts about ofsted thinking that is ok.

roisin · 05/03/2009 20:38

I think it's absolutely fine for children to walk this sort of distance. Mine walked further with several roads to cross, some quite busy, from the age of 7. But I'm from the "freedom" school of thought like Seeker.

However I am always hesitant about the idea of making one child responsible for another. My boys actually always walked home individually when they were each sufficiently mature and responsible to look after themselves. To give any child the responsibility to look after another is quite a big thing. And waiting around after school to meet one another can be confusing and problematic, as often children are surprisingly late or delayed for some reason.

If it's such a short distance, why not tell them all just to walk straight home/round to your place on their own as soon as they come out?

Original poster
steph29 · 05/03/2009 21:51

i think weighing up everyones comments it's easier to start meeting them after school they've been fine for 6 months but knowing 1 was upset today having missed the others it's not worth the worry! i think i'll let them walk to school still. anyway as the weather picks up i'll want to met them so they can stay and play in park outseide school for a while before we go home.
I keep saying though i don't make 1 child responsible for another they simply walk together as they are all coming the same way.

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Original poster
steph29 · 05/03/2009 21:54

katieloveskitty i will ask ofsted 2morrow what they think as my inspector wasn't fussed but would another inspector say the same? I would rather double check as the issue has been brought to my attention.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 05/03/2009 22:13

i am very suprised that ofsted have okayed a 7yr who is meant to be under your care walking home alone/with another child from school

i thought cm had to have the child in their sight - according to ofstead

i would def double check policy's just in case

RachieB · 05/03/2009 22:32

I agree
ok for YOUR child ( if thats your choice) but not a child you are being paid to look after ( responsibly )

dont think a 9 and 10 yr old should have that responsibility